Child Invited To Birthday Party Parents Expected To Pay

I always say other siblings are welcome too - makes it easier for parents!

It is a thing at some places. A soft play round here allows 4 free adults then it's £2 per extra adult. I would not have the balls to ask any parent to pay though i'd just pay the extra if they wanted to stay. Most parents still stay at parties and my son is yr 2. I would have left my dd at that age but not my son he need eyeballs on him.

Of course you would 😒 nobody on Mumsnet would be expected to read an invitation let alone comply with it

As for the original question. If it doesn't work for you party wise simply decline the kids will still see/socialise with each other ...

Don’t think that’s what pp meant at all.
I have done this myself where I’ve paid for another one of my children to go in and play, not gate crash, kept them separate and bought them their own food and kept them away from the party area and stayed with them. Where is the problem in this? You’ve took it the wrong way

I am beyond shocked that people would leave a 5 year old, which is still very young, at a large busy venue with party hosts that they might not know very well.

Kids wander off, cry, shove stuff up their nose, get sick, they lose shoes etc they don’t know that they’re doing half the time and that’s without being jacked up on fruit shoots and nuggets.

The idea that a party mum is going to keep an eye on a class full of kids at a soft play party is fantasy land and any old (non DBS checked) Tom Dick or Harry could be there.

I wouldn’t pay and I wouldn’t leave my little kid in those circumstances.

How much is it? For £3 I would just suck it up. A tenner, I think my child wouldn’t be going or they wouldn’t be bringing a present.

These threads always have both people claiming it's 'absolutely batshit to leave a 5yr old' as 'it's absolutely batshit to stay with a 5yr old'

It is about expectations, and different demographics of society do have completely different expectations of their children.

As we tend to socialise within our own demographic, we copy others and that becomes your norm. But it isn't other peoples.

Not really if the hosts have financial issues. Or even if they don't it's a fair enough request. It's better to make it clear from the start, then if someone isn't willing to pay or can't afford it then they don't go.
It's no different really to an adult having birthday drinks. They aren't saying they'll pay for everyone, it's just they have organised it and people are happy to spend a bit to be part of an event they'll enjoy.
You can of course simply decline out of principle but that seems a shame for your child to lose out if they'd have a good time.

Is it an actual party booked with the venue or are the parents just paying for a few kids to go and then leaving the parents to pay for themselves? It sounds like the latter.

You don’t think parents should stay with a 4 year old?? Our 4 year old still needs help finding and using a toilet that he’s not familiar with.

4 year olds are tiny and vulnerable

I went to one of these types of places as my son was invited to a party. It was expected we would stay due to the young ages of the child - I actually had to go in with him. But we never paid for adults and I don't think the party hosts paid for adults either. Extremely cheeky of the venue!! They are probably already getting £20 odd per child and parents would buy coffee / cake etc!

Can you just say: here for so and sos party at the door and then go in without paying?

I agree these places aren't very well staffed too.

Do I think it’s weird that you have to pay for yourself if you make the decision to stay for the party? - no. Do I think it’s weird that you don’t have to stay but choose to stay as you think the venue is large? No. Do I think it would be weird if you didn’t have to stay but chose to stay and still thought the hosts of the party should pay for you? - yes.

I've never experienced a party where parents were expected to stay, even for four or five year olds.

The idea sounds bonkers. What are you supposed to do with your other children?

I'd be tempted to rsvp "You are kidding, right?"

You’ve just reminded me of the horror when someone dropped their son and he puked everywhere within about 15 minutes. I called his mum to pick him up and she didn’t answer. I kept calling while trying to look after the rest of the kids and set up the lunchboxes. She eventually answered and said “he does that sometimes” (puke) and refused to collect. Nightmare! He sat in the corner of the room looking pale with a bowl provided by the venue and went on to be sick two more times. I wasn’t happy when she turned up at normal time to collect. Poor kid.

It blows my mind that there are parents that would leave their 5-6 year old at a soft play party and go!!!!

Soft play is full of other customers, not always 100% secure and not always well staffed. Wow!

Same here too.

I would pay to supervise my child in soft play because some kids go crazy in there and if mine gets hurt I want to be there for them.

As long as the parent has made it clear in advance, I don’t see what the problem is. It’s different if you accept the invite then get told on the door but you either accept and pay or decline. No big deal.

@JandamiHash I'm pretty sure we had more poop and pee to clear up than the zoo keepers.

A soft play in a zoo! Surely this is just another form of a zoo 😂 probably much less civilised than the animals outside?

Urghhh you've reminded me of an old job. I used to work at a soft play inside a zoo. Party options were private hire of the play area after the zoo closed ( I would be last out and have to lock the main gate in the pitch black convinced I was about to be eaten by the lions) and during the day a party room with food with access to the zoo and play area.

For the daytime parties there was a set amount of free adult places per so many children. It was clearly explained when taking deposits and printed on the paperwork.

The amount of times I had to tell the party parent they had a balance of £££ for dozens of extra siblings and parents was absurd. I didn't get paid enough to deal with that.

Wouldn't bother me, kids parties are expensive

If you have an issue, don't go?

What, you wish everyone charged you to attend their kid’s party?

There’s somewhere near me called Stockeld Park that is FABULOUS but charges parents about £14 each entry. So if me and DH go we spend £28 to sit in the cafe while kids play. I wouldn’t mind paying a couple of quid to get in but the same price as a child makes me seeth (it is a very good day out though)

HOWEVER if someone books a party there each child who’s invited gets a free parent entry. Which is fair IMO.

I might be being silly, but I actually don't think there's a problem with asking parents to pay for themselves. One key reason that I can think of is price - it will probably get really expensive not only paying for children, but also parents. Some people might be able to afford that, but not everyone can!

I was looking into a party venue for one of my kids when they were younger. One venue charged parents to stay. Would never have dreamed of making them pay. I chose a different venue in the end as it just added another layer of admin of finding out which parents were dropping off and which were staying etc.

This. Parents have been "paid for" at most parties we've been to - either free or the hosts have paid - right down to providing trampoline socks at a trampoline party. And if the hosts are rolling in it, I would say it's bad form to make parents pay. But not everyone is well off enough to be able to pay more for parents to attend and, while you could say they should just do a small party at home or similar, the birthday child probably wanted the venue. The most important thing is that the birthday child and their friends have a wonderful time (and the children are safe) so this is one thing I'd just suck up and pay as a parent and attend so I can be sure my child is properly supervised. I certainly wouldn't leave them on their own somewhere unsuitable just to make a point.