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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to be upset that my ex-boyfriend asked my cousin out?

37 replies

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:18

This happened many moons ago.

Ex-boyfriend asked my cousin out, she entertained it. My mum said it wasn't anything to do with me because we weren't together any longer.

WIBU to think this was just not right?

For context, cousin and I lived on the same road. Fairly close growing up as children.
She has form for sleeping with her friends' boyfriends and doesn't care much about the consequences.
My mum hasn't really ever been much of a mother figure, this is just another example where she discounted my feelings entirely.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Wavescrashingonthebeach · 18/02/2025 17:26

It really depends on how long you were together, how long ago you dated, how long you've split, the circumstances of the split. I wouldn't just do a blanket ban of "anyone I've been near ever, no one i know is allowed near". I couldnt care less if one of my exes asked one of my cousins out. Depending on which ex it was, I'd warn them of any shit behaviour but beyond that they're all grown adults and make their own mind up

MuddyPawsIndoors · 18/02/2025 17:25

Too much missing info.

How long were you together?

What does 'she entertained it' actually mean? Did she go out with him?

AmateurNoun · 18/02/2025 17:25

I wouldn't want to date my sister's ex, but I wouldn't feel icky about dating a cousin's ex.

steff13 · 18/02/2025 17:25

Personally, I don't care who a former romantic partner sees after me. If he and I worked together, we'd still be together. If they might be a better match with my friend or my cousin or whoever, who am I to stand in their way?

YoungGunsHavingSomeFunCrazyLadiesKeepEmOnTheRun · 18/02/2025 17:25

It wouldn't really bother me at all, ex asks cousin out, cousin vaguely considers it. Mum treats it as the nothing it is.

Total non event.

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:24

Two of my mum's sisters married the same man (at different times of course) so they all clearly fee differently about this things to me!

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/02/2025 17:23

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:22

Right. Cool. In the real world, I would never sleep with a friend's, or cousin's ex!

You haven’t said they slept together. You said he asked her out and she thought about it.

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:23

ExtraOnions · 18/02/2025 17:21

It depends really .. how old you were, how long you had been together etc.

Your mum was right, it wasn’t really much to do with you.

According to this thread, maybe so.

I wonder how people would actually feel if it happened to them, and their mothers didn't care an ounce.

OP posts:
crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:22

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/02/2025 17:21

How is it your cousins fault that your ex asked her out? It’s none of your business who your cousin sleeps with. It’s none of your business who your ex sleeps with. So your mum is right

Right. Cool. In the real world, I would never sleep with a friend's, or cousin's ex!

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 18/02/2025 17:21

It depends really .. how old you were, how long you had been together etc.

Your mum was right, it wasn’t really much to do with you.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/02/2025 17:21

How is it your cousins fault that your ex asked her out? It’s none of your business who your cousin sleeps with. It’s none of your business who your ex sleeps with. So your mum is right

Porcuporpoise · 18/02/2025 17:21

Your boyfriend of 12 years that you drifted apart from in your 40s, not great. Your boyfriend when you were 18, not so much of a problem.

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