WIBU to be upset that my ex-boyfriend asked my cousin out?

crosskeysgreen · 2025-02-18T17:18:31+00:00

This happened many moons ago. Ex-boyfriend asked my cousin out, she entertained it. My mum said it wasn't anything to do with me because we weren't together any longer. WIBU to think this was just not right? For context, cousin and I lived on the same road. Fairly close growing up as children. She has form for sleeping with her friends' boyfriends and doesn't care much about the consequences. My mum hasn't really ever been much of a mother figure, this is just another example where she discounted my feelings entirely. WIBU?

mezlou84 · 21/02/2025 05:21

They would obviously expect you to of moved on after all it was 2yrs when you were 18. I wouldn't care in least that far back in my past. At 18 I had been dating someone for 2yrs and if anyone I knew family member or friend wanted to date them then go right ahead, he wasn't abusive and geez it was 2yrs forever ago. I'm happily married and have been for 16yrs so I wouldn't of given a rats behind. Your mams response is likely trying to bring you to your senses. After all these years exactly what is irritating you. It can't be the man asking your cousin out and her accepting because you're well rid and must have your own history. If it was recent 2yrs then yes a bit insensitive but not after all this time. Concentrate on current life ambitions and goals don't get sucked into the past.

Ponderingwindow · 18/02/2025 18:16

2 years when you were 18. Get over yourself.

i honestly don’t understand this concept of not dating a friend’s ex unless the ex is so awful that you can’t be in the same room with them ever again. This is especially true if the relationship never got as far as marriage

you dating a person first is just a stroke of fate. Maybe they are a perfect match. Why should they be kept apart just because of dumb luck?

BeaAndBen · 18/02/2025 18:09

Why would you care? You broke up.

Presumably you know a lot of the same people - this is especially true in a smaller community - so people dating their friends’ or cousins’ exes isn’t really a big deal.

Hell, one of DP’s mates, when we were young, dated three of my friends within a year.

ARichtGoodDram · 18/02/2025 18:05

A week, maybe two.

Yeah that's a dick move from both of them.

Him for attempting to wind you up by asking her and her entertaining him.

x2boys · 18/02/2025 17:57

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:45

A week, maybe two.

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Well I can kind of see your point then
But it was a long time ago as the song says let it go!

MyLimeGuide · 18/02/2025 17:54

They all sound like a bunch of chavs IMO. Hold your head up high girl.

Smartiepants79 · 18/02/2025 17:46

As this thread has proved people see these things differently. As, apparently, your mum does. If you don’t care about him then I’m a bit lost as to why it matters at all.

Original poster

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:45

x2boys · 18/02/2025 17:44

How long after you split did he ask her out?

A week, maybe two.

OP posts:

x2boys · 18/02/2025 17:44

How long after you split did he ask her out?

Idontjetwashthefucker · 18/02/2025 17:44

How long ago are we talking?

Original poster

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:43

PiastriThePastry · 18/02/2025 17:41

Bit of a dick move from the ex and from your cousin but really, you were a teenager in a not-terribly-serious relationship and it’s not like a lot of teens don’t chop and change boyfriends regularly! Why are you focussing on this now, apparently many years later, when it’s so relatively minor?

Another thread reminded me of it.

OP posts:

PiastriThePastry · 18/02/2025 17:41

Bit of a dick move from the ex and from your cousin but really, you were a teenager in a not-terribly-serious relationship and it’s not like a lot of teens don’t chop and change boyfriends regularly! Why are you focussing on this now, apparently many years later, when it’s so relatively minor?

Poppyseeds79 · 18/02/2025 17:40

Was this last week OP?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/02/2025 17:37

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:35

I'm not bothered about him. I'm bothered about my cousin, and my mother not giving a single thought to how I might be feeling.

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Why aren’t you bothered about him? Why are you still bothering about it years later?

x2boys · 18/02/2025 17:37

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:22

Right. Cool. In the real world, I would never sleep with a friend's, or cousin's ex!

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Your asking for people's opinion, s some wont agree with you that the way a forum works
If it was so long ago why are you bothered ?

Original poster

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:35

Smartiepants79 · 18/02/2025 17:33

Why did you split up? Who’s choice?
But to be honest unless you’re still harbouring feelings for him or he was a complete knob, then I can’t see why it would be that big a deal. He isn’t cheating on you. His love life is t your business.
I don’t think it would bother me enough to still be worrying about many moons later.

I'm not bothered about him. I'm bothered about my cousin, and my mother not giving a single thought to how I might be feeling.

OP posts:

Smartiepants79 · 18/02/2025 17:33

Why did you split up? Who’s choice?
But to be honest unless you’re still harbouring feelings for him or he was a complete knob, then I can’t see why it would be that big a deal. He isn’t cheating on you. His love life is t your business.
I don’t think it would bother me enough to still be worrying about many moons later.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 18/02/2025 17:32

Exes not eyes bloody autocorrect. Id have to have a bit of a think to even name the ex I was with at 18 🤣 (and was with them well over a year)

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 18/02/2025 17:30

When I saw that one of my eyes had proposed to someone, my immediate thought was "ah isn't that lovely!"

Sunnydiary · 18/02/2025 17:30

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:28

She didn't decide not to.

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At age 18? Honestly this isn’t something I would even remember, never mind dwell upon.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 18/02/2025 17:29

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:27

Together 2 years, around 18 years old.

Yeah she went out with him a few times

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But how long ago was that how old are you now?

Cupcakes2035 · 18/02/2025 17:28

in theory yes omg

that said in reality, if they got on well and got on in general with the family, then in theory as everyone got along then why not ? because you already know the people,

that said i can see your point op @crosskeysgreen

Original poster

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:28

Sunnydiary · 18/02/2025 17:26

So all that happened is an ex bf asked out your cousin? She thought about it and decided not to?

And years later this is still bothering you?

You need help.

She didn't decide not to.

OP posts:

Original poster

crosskeysgreen · 18/02/2025 17:27

MuddyPawsIndoors · 18/02/2025 17:25

Too much missing info.

How long were you together?

What does 'she entertained it' actually mean? Did she go out with him?

Together 2 years, around 18 years old.

Yeah she went out with him a few times

OP posts:

Sunnydiary · 18/02/2025 17:26

So all that happened is an ex bf asked out your cousin? She thought about it and decided not to?

And years later this is still bothering you?

You need help.