To ask my pharmacist to use my actual title on my medicine

But you're not me, so you don't get to choose my name or my title for me.

We don't want a special title, we want to be men's equals.

It's gobsmacking that so many women find this so difficult to comprehend.

Yes, and like I said, it’s completely over your head that the only people that care are the pretentious who want a special title.

I’d change my user name to MsScarlet if I were you!

so much angst!

Because it's not about the pharmacy staff. It's about you and how you want to be referred to.

As is clear from this thread, some people have bigoted and outdated views about use of the title "Ms". You're entitled to hold those views if you wish, but you should keep them to yourself and use people's correct title the same way you should get their name right.

Every time this subject comes up on Mumsnet there are posters who say we should abolish Mrs and Miss and just call all adult women Ms, because categorising women according to their marital status is backwards and patriarchal. And what happens every time that suggestion is made? A chorus of other posters start objecting loudly, saying, "No! I like being a Mrs! I'm proud to be married. I don't want to be referred to as Ms. I choose to be Mrs and nobody should be taking that choice away from me." And so on.

Well, fine. But any woman who likes being a Mrs because she wants everyone to know she is married (and there is really no other reason for the title to exist) should respect other women's right to be called Ms because we don't want to be defined by our marital status.

If the OP was complaining that the pharmacist was ignoring the "Mrs" written on the prescription and dispensing the medication to a fictional "Ms" instead (perhaps because the pharmacist is a militant feminist who thinks the titles Mrs and Miss have no good reason to exist in the 21st century), you can bet your life that the replies would be different.

So why the big deal then? I’m sure it doesn’t even register with the pharmacy staff.

Yes, like I said, the point went flying over your head at 40,000 feet.

It has nothing to do with whether we think they will care or whether we think they will discuss it among themselves.

Or over yours? Nobody cares if you’re not married at 50. It’s fine to be a Miss. There’s no need to be a Ms to keep people guessing, they’re not sat there discussing it after you’ve left the pharmacy.

Ms for a woman, Mrs. for a married woman. Which one are you?

All my US colleagues were Ms by default, at least in speech in all-hands calls. In documentation, they were usually just firstname surname, and if was some sort of article, they'd usually just be referred to as surname after the first mention. So I would have expected more systems to include as an option.

Anyway. I asked my pharmacy. They said no, we can't and pointed me at my GP. That's NHS, not private, though. I think I had to get a hospital department to update it separately, too.

What I appear to be unable to change is pharmacy messages to firstname Middle-age, so I get a string of texts to say Dear Emma Jane, we've received your prescription. Emma Jane, we have fulfilled part of your prescription (I don't actually care till it's all there.) They say this is down to my NHS documentation, but my GP and various hospital departments manage to address me as just Emma, so I'm not sure why the pharmacy can't manage it.

I would check with whoever gives the private prescription to make sure they're using Ms. Once that's confirmed/resolved, I'd be talking to the pharmacist again. If they didn't change, I would definitely consider moving (because I can do that without inconveniencing myself, as there's more than one pharmacy close by. I probably don't care enough if I had to travel further I'd change.)

Which reminds me, credit card...

It’s weird US systems don’t have Ms as I thought that’s where the term first started.

WTAF ! Just ask them to change it if it bothers you that much

Hey @Everythingisnumbersnow - I work with system integration for private clients and quite often the systems don’t talk nicely to each other and the options vary as to what system a and b will do.

Many of the systems I use are written and coded by Americans and don’t have the Ms option.

many of the systems that don’t have the Ms option will use formatting so they are ‘moved over’ to Miss.

im sure it’s not done in purpose to spite you. Its just a system or system user issue.

Hope you find relief soon!

But the debate is not about the accuracy of the medicine so point 2 does not apply.

And point 1 - it’s just a title is the argument. So why is “Miss” not a big deal but “Mr” is if all other details are correct?

I work in pharmacy, what's on your records with us is exactly on records at gp - they are linked. You need to change with gp and then we can update our records otherwise we can't.

No - 1) OP would be being misgendered, 2) appropriateness of medication could be tied in to OP's sex. Medically relevant

@Weddingbells6 unfortunately if you do own your own pharmacy, it is one of the few professions where you are expected to provide advice for free. Of course we have professional indeminity insurance, many pharmacists are paid hourly. However if you work for yourself in your own pharmacy, it does suck at times. However in the greater scheme of things sometimes providing that free advice can be incredibly rewarding so hey ho.

Tell them politely the 1st time “It is actually Ms, could you make sure you have it correct on your system please?” Then if it keeps happening be firmer.

Of course it matters, it’s your name, I hate people that don’t try to get names correct. My own Dad used to pronounce names incorrectly and I’m convinced now he’s passed away that it was on purpose like some sort of weird control thing. He was an intelligent man, how can you not hear the way a name is pronounced? I understand some are more difficult but Ms / Miss is not difficult. Pharmacists don’t work for free, they’re providing a service and I think it’s only right they give a level of customer service.

@surreygirl1987 Totallty agree with you - I'm a married Ms MyFamilyName. But about 99% of the female population disagree so it's always going to be a uphill struggle unfortunately.

This!

Why does it matter?! Because women have suffered hundreds of years being labelled by marital status (when men don't) and some of us want that to stop. It's fine if you don't care - that's your choice. But for those of us that do care, please respect our choice too! Despite being married, I have never been a Mrs. I was Ms, and now I'm Dr. I refuse to be labelled by my marital status (especially when my husband has never had to deal with this nonsense, and has merrily been Mr all his life!).

We had a period when DS meds had Miss on, despite prescriptions having Mr. It's based on some ancient NHS system that doesn't seem to update or correct. We kept contacting the GP to get it corrected too.

It really isn't the fault of the pharmacist. It's actually based on the details with your NHS number, irrespective of whether it's a private prescription.

For me, as long as I'm getting the correct medical treatment it's just a bit of an eye-roll. When I underwent emergency surgery for an ectopic a while back, they'd put Mrs ** on all of my paperwork, bands etc.
Laughed about it with my husband when I got home but no big deal - all of my other details were correct.

You're conflating different issues. There's no reason for a pharmacist to sell a drug on a private prescription at a loss.