My parents are mid to late 60s. We have a decent relationship but have had its ups and downs. My sibling also feels the same.
They’ve not been overly supportive at times in my life and at one point they tried to briefly pressure me to have an abortion when my relationship broke down while I was pregnant.
They have always been there for me and my sibling but very much on their own terms. By which I mean I always struggled to feel I could probably rely on them, though the usually were there when the chips were down. As a result of this I have been pretty independent throughout my life.
Now, I’m 40, have a young child and busy life with DH and working. I see friends. My parents are always wanting me to meet on a weekly basis and if I don’t I’m often given the cold shoulder for a few days. I find a lot of it is mind games and feels quite toxic. On the flip side they can be lovely and I used to roll over whenever we argued as I hated having bad feeling, now though I am too busy and also tired to deal with the moods they go into.
As they’ve got older it’s got worse and I’ve actually not heard from them properly for a few weeks as they went on holiday and clearly are annoyed I didn’t arrange for them to see dd before they went. Has anyone else found a higher reliance emotionally from parents as they’ve got older? I worry I am dealing with it in the wrong way