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Original poster

Did I make the right choice leaving London?

39 replies

Daylightrainbows · 18/02/2025 10:34

For those that have made the move, how long did it take you to settle into life outside London. We moved about a month ago (no time I know) and while I love the space of the new house I’m starting to worry I made the wrong decision. Silly things like the selection in supermarkets feeling much more limited, my daughters new nursery feeling less vibrant and having to drive at least 15 mins to get to most things is making me wonder if the grass is really greener.

Nursery I think bothers me the most. Our previous nursery was bustling and lovely diverse staff. Here despite being another large setting just seems more provincial and I worry it could impact her development. In her first week they told me how advanced she was compared to some of the other kids. Did I make a mistake taking her out of the rich London environment?

OP posts:
anonny55 · 18/02/2025 11:17

We moved out of London over 2 years ago now. Similar to you, rural area but a local shop cafe and pub 5 mins walk. Nearest town is 15 mins drive. I cried when I went to do my food shopping for the first time because the supermarket was so small , layout was awkward haha

A year in I started to not miss the city life anymore but up until then I was beyond miserable. I only stuck it out as DH loved it and we were planning on a baby and didn't want to bring them up in London as it's the unsafest it's ever been. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and 2 years later we've bought here and move out of our rental next month and I barely even go back to London anymore. Everytime I have I remember why I left. I'd never leave the place we are now

PensionConfusion24 · 18/02/2025 11:16

FanofLeaves · 18/02/2025 11:05

Yeah, definitely likely. I have a very outgoing toddler, he’s been like it since a baby. He goes to a London Borough nursery and there’s a huge mix of personalities. It’s not necessarily down to the nursery environment at all. Perhaps the staff were taken by surprise as they don’t have another ‘character’ ( i know this is how they lovingly describe mine 🤣) in attendance

Show quote history

But I suppose that's potentially a different sort of problem (well, if it is a problem), I guess very outgoing and gregarious people are more likely to be drawn to big cities where there are loads of people around all the time, and their kids are more likely to take after them. Perhaps it's part of the difference she is noticing.

Original poster
Daylightrainbows · 18/02/2025 11:15

@FanofLeaves i think maybe it’s that. Perhaps it just happens the other kids in that group are less of a character. She can be quite strong willed. I only have her last Nursey as a comparison and there were lots of outgoing kids in that group. it was the nursery staff that suggested it’s different here to being in London so like I said this is what made me think not me just coming up with it on my own. Will see how she gets on and perhaps look at the setting if not. Sorry I should also add that this morning she suddenly didn’t want to go and told me the other children don’t play with her which made me sad. She had so many lovely friends in her old place. The staff cried the day she left.

@WestwardHo1 appreciate the reality check on being ridiculous. You are probably right and that what I thought when we moved it would be fine but not sure if you have lived in a big city before. It’s a shock no being able to just walk out the door and have everything on your door step. Also I only recently learned to drive and feel a bit anxious going out alone especially with the kids so probably not helping!

OP posts:
FanofLeaves · 18/02/2025 11:05

autumn1610 · 18/02/2025 11:01

Have you considered maybe your child is naturally more out going? And it has nothing to do with the nursery’s they attended.

Yeah, definitely likely. I have a very outgoing toddler, he’s been like it since a baby. He goes to a London Borough nursery and there’s a huge mix of personalities. It’s not necessarily down to the nursery environment at all. Perhaps the staff were taken by surprise as they don’t have another ‘character’ ( i know this is how they lovingly describe mine 🤣) in attendance

WestwardHo1 · 18/02/2025 11:04

Doesn't sound to me like you're rural if you have a shop, pub and cafe in the village, you're five minutes from town and within easy reach of London. Sounds as though you're still in the south east. Surely you knew that outside of East London things would be a little less "diverse".

Supermarkets selections tend to be standard.

I think you are being ridiculous to be honest.

autumn1610 · 18/02/2025 11:01

Have you considered maybe your child is naturally more out going? And it has nothing to do with the nursery’s they attended.

TallulahBetty · 18/02/2025 11:00

Your nursery told you that your child is more advanced than the other kids? LOL

I keep forgetting it's half term.

Original poster
Daylightrainbows · 18/02/2025 10:57

Thanks for the replies and sorry I’m not meaning to sound disparaging about other kids. It was the comment from the nursery staff that got me thinking. There have been a few others about her being more outgoing than the others kid and kind of suggesting she’s different in some way. I hadn’t really thought there would be a difference but this is what I’m hearing.

perhaps we have gone too rural too quickly. We are in a village but it has good amenities (cafe, shop, Dr, pub etc 5 mins walk away). And the closest town is only 10-15 mins drive so I thought it would be ok but maybe harder than I thought vs East London.

i moved for the extra space and schools, also wanting a safer environment for my daughter to grow up in which I do think is true. Perhaps just a culture shock and will take time to adjust. I will need to go into London 1-2 days a week. I’m currently on Mat leave with my 2nd so perhaps that will help once I still get to visit!

OP posts:
Fuckitydoodah · 18/02/2025 10:56

Oh dear, I'd definitely hot foot it back to London before your DD turns into a country bumpkin numpty and her life is ruined.

DDivaStar · 18/02/2025 10:54

Well there must have been reasons for the move, are those are still valid ?

You are being unreasonable to expect everything to be the same.

Perhaps you are a bit too rural did you not consider if you'd be driving everywhere when you moved. There are other large towns and citys outside of London with amenities close by.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 18/02/2025 10:42

It turned out the most of the other children were scarecrows but because it's out of London nobody even noticed. Some of the local children were scrabbling around in the dirt for some corn to eat while the new one was sipping a latte eating smashed avocado on sourdough. Of course staff are going to comment on that.

Ilikewinter · 18/02/2025 10:42

I guess that depends on your reasons for moving in the first place - I assume those reasons still exist? , and where you moved to.

Have you gone to rural life?, if so that's a massive change and will take a while to adjust to.

PoorLion · 18/02/2025 10:40

Maybe too rural? When I moved from London to a small town in south east the estate agents thought I was being fussy when saying I needed to be walking distance to station and shops etc but it worked.

Do you go to London to visit/work? Remind yourself of why you moved? When dc older can do fun London visits?

FanofLeaves · 18/02/2025 10:38

Your nursery actually said that?! That’s terrible, what so all the other kids are country bumpkins and yours is somehow more sophisticated for having spent a tiny portion of her life in the big smoke? I’m surprised they were unprofessional enough to give you that impression tbh.

The other stuff…well surely you’ll have expected that before the move.

And she won’t he in nursery forever so you should look at the bigger picture of school, really.

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