Did I make the right choice leaving London?

It's early days OP, so natural to miss your old life at the start. Despite what some people on here like to think, almost all big cities, especially London, are more vibrant and culturally rich that small towns and villages. That's the benefit of a dense population. Children also tend to mature earlier in urban environments in my opinion and they are definitely more streetwise.

But it also has downsides that you don't get in smaller places and that's probably why you moved. Give it a bit more time for you to settle. Can you still go and visit London or are you too far away?

There is no way the nursery said that. I used to work in one granted. It was 15 years ago, but still, we wouldn't be allowed to make generalisations like that.

Choice on food will be more limited but do go around some of the local retailers, butchers, grocers, pie shops etc. You will find some amazing local food, it might take some getting used to the lack of exotic stuff though.

Get down to the pub as often as possible, be friendly and very open minded/non judgemental about the locals. I sent DH off to the pubs of an evening when we first moved in and he quickly started making friends/contacts, even finding out who the good local tradesmen were. Going outside when the smokers do gets you into a useful little clique.

Your DD will make friends quickly as all kids do and once you get into the mums community you will feel a lot less isolated.

The main thing is accept your world has got a lot smaller but way more entertaining, we have some real characters (good and bad) in our village that never disappoint.

There are a few restaurants here in Forgottenville. They sell barbecued this'n'that, mainly on a burger bun. A lovely little Italian opened. It closed because people just wanted pizzas with barbecued stuff on. We've got a decent Indian restaurant but I've never seen another customer in there - however they're making a living, it's not the restaurant. It makes me really sad!

We have some Polish delis but that's the only 'foreign' food you can buy, even in the supermarket except when they have a promotion. The glories of London's Turkish, Arab, African and Caribbean groceries are a fading memory. The weekly farmer's market is as boring as hell.

Pub prices are cheaper, though. Much of England's produce comes from this region but only the breweries are making local sales. We should at least have a tradition of beautiful regional cuisine, like Ludlow for instance - there is literally no appetite for such fancy ideas. I've spoken to loads of people who've never even been to London; they just know they wouldn't like it. There is a local face, around a quarter of residents have it.

A dozen or so black people have appeared over the last two or three years. I have to stop myself gazing at them with something like nostalgia 😬

... and thank you for letting me moan! I can't say any of this out loud. Argh.

I say that because it didn’t work for them.

it has worked for my best pal, who went down to Devon.
can’t get a job in her desire field
most of her new friends are seventy.
but she bloody loves running in the woods.
she is enjoying raising her kid somewhere slow and calm.
she doesn’t mind that she has stepped off the career path and is navigating something new.
she is enjoying the characters and experiences of the new people she has met.

I wish it hadn’t, and that she wanted to come back .
because I miss her. But she loves where she has landed
so that’s good.

And if you decide you don’t like it you can come back.
friends went down to Sussex, near to where they had grown up, thinking it was right for when they had kids.
but their kids slept in one bedroom in their 5 bed house and they didn’t need as much space. And they wanted to ride bikes. But didn’t want to have to drive to a place to do that. And they realised they didn’t really enjoy countryside activities every weekend. they didnt enjot WFH, nor commuting on an expensive, delayed, lengthy train and car in car park commute. And that the secondary school options were quite polarised and not what they had envisaged. and they wanted more of the stuff they had done when they lived in east London.
so they came back. Rented for 4/5 years right in the community they wanted to be, and eventually managed to buy a (much smaller, less charming) ex LA maisonette.
that wasn’t what they expected to do. but they are happy.
i think they were pretty brave to shake things up again. But they trusted they could make it work.

We moved nearly a year ago to a biggish town on the south coast. We already had some friends down here which helped, but I'd lived my whole 50 odd years in London, specifically South London in some of its livelier parts!
I was surprised how long it's taking me to adapt, even though I'm glad we made the move. It's nowhere near as diverse as London, which I find a bit unsettling. 10-15 minutes drive to a big Sainsbo/Asda/Aldi for the Big Shop which I don't mind and we have a Co-Op nearby for emergencies.
Despite the fact that younger people are moving in, it can feel like it's full of older people. But it has some great amenities, and being near the coast and the South Downs is wonderful.
I've just been up to London this week for a couple of days to see friends and I do miss it, the buzz, the sense of everything happening all the time everywhere. But we have a lovely house now, more space than we need and are mortgage free, which will allow us to save/ do more.
You have to give it time. A lot of the friends we have made are other DFLers which does make me feel bit inauthentic but we do talk about other things apart from house prices and sourdough!

Super market stock isn’t standardised.

I have a couple of friends who did what you did. Different villages. In both cases they have only made good friends with other London escapers!

I moved out of London to The Town That Time Forgot, Nothingshire. It was not a voluntary move but I was reasonably optimistic, having quickly settled in many other places. My optimism was misplaced. I really, really dislike it and miss London's cultural horizons, a poncy-sounding but accurate phrase.

On the plus side, there's hardly any crime by comparison. And ... oh, that was the plus side 😬

I haven't got kids, so your priorities will be different. And if you're as stuck as I am (can't afford to go back!) you should definitely not listen to a cynic like me, but look to all the fabulous outdoor activities you can force yourself to enjoy and the fascinating local traditions you and DC can get involved with <smiles with slightly maniacal enthusiasm>!

The only thing I would be carefully considering is secondary schooling. As long as the nursery is safe and dc are well cared for it will be fine. You said schools are good but have you looked beyond primary (most primarys are good). Is there a local secondary school that has what you want (results/subjects/behaviour/sport - whatever) AND that your dc can get into?

speaking from experience and that of many friends : only looked at the schooling for younger years when we moved, but secondary comes around very quickly!

Most of what influences your child's development comes from you, not a nursery. Ime childcare workers outside big cities tend to be better - childcare work is poorly paid so in expensive cities only the young & inexperienced tend to be willing to do it. Out in the sticks you get better educated more experienced staff.

Yabvu to think the diversity of the staff impacts the quality of the care. In many parts of the UK the vast majority of the population is white so staff will be white, there's not much they can do about it, it will reflect the local population.

I'd have thought it was the opposite, though! I live in central London and often walk home after a night out, but my parents and siblings in the middle of nowhere rural Kent have to drive to get anywhere.

Also, supermarkets for us are much smaller than in Kent, but also within walking distance.

@Daylightrainbows I have to say my parents did the same moved 2 weeks before I was born and my sister was 15months, bear in mind this was the late 80’s and moved for very similar reasons to one of the other posters not feeling where they were in London was safe and worried about gangs etc were very glad we weren’t there growing up when the knife crime really grew. I live in a city now and so does my sister and it’s more the way you are brought up as well I think that influences you, my parents although white/straight had diverse friendships so we were brought up around that even though the area at the time wasn’t so much. I wouldn’t change however where I was brought up when I was primary as it was nice to be part of a small community and friends in the same village. Teenage years questionable

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I don’t know about nurseries but it’s a fact that schools in London (except for a few in very very rough areas) out perform the rest of the country. It’s because of the teacher population in London - they tend to be more freshly qualified and more diverse and with the new ideas and attitudes that brings. Local schools in the country can have the same teachers for decades - and that shows in their provision.

Remember its Different. Not worse or better, just Different.

Supermarkets... well yes a smaller shop will have a smaller selection. However there are probably independents around. The stuff we get in some of the farm shops is a lot better than a supermarket.

Diversity... villages do tend to be less diverse. Less people.

Yes you need a car more.

But you get more fresh air, more space, and you can find Different activities. Watersports are big around my area for instance as we have a lot of rivers, canals, ponds and lakes. Our Secondary school has its own camping field as there is space.

It could be it isn't for you.

I kind of understand you OP. We moved from zone 2 to zone 5 recently so still technically "London" but doesn't really feel it. We're south London though so still pretty diverse (that was a necessity for us as we're not white and didn't want the kids to feel out of place). I really notice the difference in the takeaways and supermarkets too. Sounds daft but the choice is much smaller, and the takeaways and restaurants seem less "authentic" somehow. But the area is safer, the schools are better and there is much less worrying about gangs - my kids are going onto secondary next year so was very much on our minds.
I think what's helped for me was making sure I'm super close to the local high street and the station.
Can you try and focus on the ways your life is better rather than the ways it isn't maybe?
And you've not been there long. It's a big adjustment.

4 months out of London to a smallish town in Somerset. I'm older than you though, 58. I've never lived outside of London before. While I'm finding it a bit of a culture change (less diversity, and I miss TfL) I'm loving the sense of community and the fact that I can go for a night out and walk home! I'm joining activities to meet people and am starting work soon to meet more. You have to look at the reasons why you left.

Yep, a more diverse nursery staff for a year or two will definitely mean that your child is more advanced than those inbred yokels.

Yes I agree. Although my son sort of has the best of both worlds as all my family are from rural Norfolk so he does experience both environments. But he definitely has a bit of a unfazed ‘city vibe’ about him (never bothered by noise, crowds, happy to hop on public transport etc

Well I certainly do appreciate feeling sad about the new nursery environment OP. Mine had to move due to his old one closing- a year on we still see some of his teachers and they always ask what he’s up to and a couple have commented that there’s no one quite like him where they’re currently working. His new nursery has been fine but not quite the same. Do you think it’s partly this? It might just take some time to get to know the teachers better and vice versa. But it will always be different. Before you know it, she’ll be at school.