DM offering me a house.

I’ve voted YABU because your casual ageism towards “boomers” is not a good look.

People are so careful with language these days to avoid stereotyping others - apart from when it comes to people who through an accident of birth happen to be born at a certain time. Hating on “boomers” won’t help your situation.

My 20s daughter doesn't have a car. They just live near good public transport. She doesn't take holidays. I would never expect her to pay for my parent's or grandparents' funerals either (and would expect her to ask about their own funds in the bank or assets or insurances). No pets, no fancy outings or cars. Does own a house though. And does buy regular coffees.

OP, I would just make your plans without your mother's involvement, if she can't commit. It's always best to make decisions based on what is real now, not on what might happen.

OP, I know you're frustrated by your situation, but insulting other people won't help.

Talk to your mother, and ask how much money she'll be able to give you and exactly when.

My mum has done this in the past too not with big things like a house but other things I don't really know what the answer is.
I know there are hundreds of countries in the world so not sure which one you are in but in mine they have released some 90 and 100% mortgages recently for residents. We are considering it because rental prices are sky high.

To be fair the coffee comment was made by the youngster struggling to afford to buy a home, it wasn't a suggestion from any home owner here as a way forwards.

Ahhh the coffee comments. Hilarious considering coffee shops and cafes are packed to the brim with pensioners every single day in my town.

A weekly coffee and Netflix some how equals tens of thousands for a house deposit in their eyes.

It sounds like she has offered some money early but possibly not to the extent of the 20/25% you’ll need WHEN she has sorted her own home.

Now it seems like you’re charging in wanting 25% asap. Your landlord is happy to wait so why not start saving or look elsewhere so they aren’t wasting their time.

I guess my 4 properties trump your rental 🏘🏡 🤣

Actually lots of people do and the early noughties quite a few people didn't have phones.

But you do you, and live in rented until you can bum off your mother.

Just tread with caution - I have seen similar offers before between family members getting pulled (sometimes last minute), leaving the indebted party in a tricky situation. Where money is concerned sometimes even family can surprise you.

This is hilarious.

after a couple of years of rising house prices I sold to fund my second

And after another two decades of rising house prices and not-rising wages how much do you think your initial starter home is worth now? 😂 JFC people have no idea.

Exactly this. I brought from my land lord and it was a brilliant way of buying. I knew the house and saved a fortune on removal costs etc.

“I bought my house for 3 grand, why can’t you!?”
starter houses costing 200,000 with 100,000 deposits required as standard

If only I hadn’t bought 100,000 coffees last year I would already be a millionaire. More fool us, eh!

I think you speak direct to your mum.
”Mum, you made an offer to release inheritance early so I could buy, and actually encouraged me to speak to my landlord! So I did, at your suggestion. Now my landlord is happy to be patient but I feel you’ve backtracked on your initial offer. I just want clarity to know if I should keep my landlord on the line, or if this isn’t going to be feasible I can let him know we will continue to rent.”

God, you sound like me. Although I had a challenging 7 years, so you're obviously much better at it 😂

@PrincessofWells where did you live while you were saving "most of" your salary?

As I said, you want someone else to bankroll your purchase.
I bought my first house by never going out, I didn't have a car, no meals out, no Netflix, no pub, no coffee shops, no mobile phone, no holidays, no boyfriend. That way I saved most of my salary for 3 years. Enough to put down a deposit. Then after a couple of years of rising house prices, I remortgaged for the deposit for my second.
As I said, in my experience a lot of people won't do that because it's a challenging 3 years.

No, just went without to get on the ladder.

In my experience there are always excuses as to why people haven't been able to buy. It's the coffee culture. Some people will never be fortunate enough to be in that position whatever they do. Others have children, pay for their wedding, buy/lease large cars etc etc ahead of saving and then claim they don't have enough for a deposit 🙄

If the intention is to sell her house, realistically she can't give you a figure until it is sold and she also doesn't know how long it is going to take to sell, so there's no way she can tell you when the money will be coming.

There are houses round me that have been on the market for 7 or 8 months. House selling is stressful enough without having the thought of family members waiting in the background.

She has said to you once she'll help you out, you've brought it up again and she has said she intends to do it. I genuinely don't think she can give you a timeframe, and I think you'd be ungracious to ask again.

You said the landlord isn't in a hurry, so what is the big deal?