Unwanted potential guest...please help!

This ^

Is the rent going to be split by 5 once she moves in?

YANBU
Find your rental contract and read what it says about lodgers. You are responsible for all house decisions along with DP. So make sure your voice is heard equally and that you do things correctly.
Is there room for an extra person….How many bedrooms and bathrooms are there in your house? Can you argue that there isn’t enough room?

If Ray and this non-coping friend are staying together in one room, are there two beds? It is hardly a safe space for her after the end of her relationship, especially if he will be coercing her into having sex she maybe doesn't want and has resisted so far. I don’t blame you for not wanting to condone or get involved this closely in his rescue relationship with her. She sounds very vulnerable. It has disaster written all over it and won’t end well.

Ray should do the decent thing and help his non-coping friend find her own lodgings. He is in no position himself to assume he can bring extra people to stay in your home. Your DP should have consulted you first. Also, DP’s new rule argument is juvenile.
Good luck with putting your foot down.

@Anewyearanewday Only the OP and her DP are on the lease though, they’re the only official tenants. Ray and the OP’s daughter aren’t tenants.

Looking at it from what it essentially is - its a house share with four adults equally sharing?

I'm not sure why the OP decides whether the other three people can have guests stay over anymore than her partner decides they can't.

This isn't a case of Ray 'renting a room' in the short-term. He has been renting and paying for one quarter of the outgoings for years. He has a right to have somebody stay with him (short term at least) as much as the OP's daughter has the right to have somebody stay with her short-term. It can't be one rule for one tenant and another rule for someone else.

I would agree to a strict one week visit from Ray's friend.
Ray and she both know the strict terms.
Your husband should be suggesting that if Ray is unhappy with this, then Ray and his friend should find their own accommodation.

I think your husband is too reliant on living with Ray.

The two male 1/4 rent and bill payers think they can move a woman in for free then?

On top of that they want to tell the two female 1/4 rent and bill payers they must agree to pay 1/4 each towards this extra person or never be allowed a guest of their own for even one one night.

Who is paying for the food she's going to eat. Who is paying for her toiletries, laundry costs, internet access, entertainment access, parking costs etc.

Who is putting up with any potentially shitty behaviour seeing as her man friend, who is desperate to fuck her, is off at work all week.

Does SHE know her male bestie only wants desperately to fuck her. Does she know that she, who the men seem to have decided, is destined to be her male friend's weekend fuck toy because I seriously doubt it.

Tell the two dick swingers to fuck off and pay 1/2 each to keep this woman with "issues" in other accommodation and, please, warn her about the fucking she is going to expected to pay with.

Your partner sounds absolutely batshit? Why on earth would he allow for a complete stranger to move into your home? Additionally, why does he rule the roost to who has guest and who doesn’t?

You sound like you have two controlling males in your house? Ray doesn’t sound like somebody I’d want to live with either!

Help Ray find a place and the woman can move in with him.

This woman sounds like she's going to be a second lodger, not a guest. A couple of nights as Ray's guest is one thing, but who's going to pay her share of the utilities, for example, if she stays longer (it sounds as if she plans to)?
Is Ray willing to pay 2/5's of the rent and bills to cover her expenses?

Not that I'd agree to this anyway, it sounds like a potential disaster.

I agree with @healthybychristmas, you and your DD should look for your own place and leave these two daft men behind.

You and your daughter should move out and get yourself a place of your own. I don't know why you let that creep live with you. Your partner sounds absolutely bloody useless as well.

Wtf is wrong with your partner?

Your DP is a fuckwit thinking this woman can stay. Red flags everywhere.

and worse than being a fuckwit is his tantrum about you/your dd not being allowed friends/BF over as a result.

he sounds really thick.

Your DP, Ray and mystery woman can find their own place.

OK thanks for clarifying. I still lthk k this needs to be sorted out between you and partner if it's your lease.

However, it sounds a bit like in your mind, it's your and your partner's house where Ray lodges. Lodgers have fewer rights than housemates. Whereas in Ray and your partner's minds it is a house share and no one really needs permission from anyone else to have guests. This is not giving you any answers but I wonder if something along those lines might help you pick your way through this with your partner.

Your partner is being as arse.

Just don't,there was a thread where someone took in a friend and they were the guest from hell and it was a nightmare to get rid.
Fuck taking in a complete stranger with issues.
It will end in tears that's for sure.

Oh wow so it's your partner saying that you're not allowed visitors? Maybe him and Ray should find their own place together!!!

Give Ray notice to leave. He's the lodger, he doesn't get to decide what happens in YOUR family home.

Is it your house? If your partner doesn't back you on this, I'd give him his marching orders as well. If it's his house, I'd be looking to leave with your dd asap.

Whose house is it?

Reading PPs I may have leapt to the wrong conclusion in who the "he" is who is telling you you can't have visitors. If so apologies, ignore the above.