Ask DH to not go on holiday with female friend.

I absolutely love your perfect choice of emojis! 😂

I don't understand why the outrage about going on holiday. If he has an affair with this woman then the marriage is not secure so really it would do the OP a favour. Personally I wouldn't be happy with this situation but you can't really argue against it if you go on holiday with male friends.

Will you kindly read the first sentence of my second paragraph, and then ask yourself why you needed to quote my post?

Why don't you go ? It sounds like they have a shared hobby .. I've been away with my best friend (male) many times. Honestly nothing has gone on we are just friends. But I think the dynamic has changed without the children going (for a start how to kids get to dictate ?)

You did it. Why shouldn’t he? 🤷‍♀️

That's a weird take. Just because I'm in a relationship I need to stop annual trip with my friend? I need to force my partner to come hiking against his will instead of going with my bff who would actually enjoy it? He needs to miss out on champions league match he has tickets to cause I'm working? What about visiting friend or family who lives abroad? Just allowed to see them again unless my partner is able to travel?

So yes it is hypocritical of you, why is it different because he is a man?

twelve hours since this was posted and y’all still raging ha ha

Regardless of whether you’ve gone on holiday with male friends, I don’t think that matters in this situation. Yeah, your husband didn’t like it but I don’t think that justifies you keeping quiet about how you feel. Is she his friend or your son’s friend’s mother? It’s so important that you discuss this situation with your husband for the sake of your marriage. Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel about this situation? Why don’t you go on the holiday too? Or suggest the woman travels with the others and you go in her place. If it was so easy for the children to change the travel plans, your husband and her can change theirs too. You haven’t said anything about her. Do you know her well? What vibe do you get? In future , promise each other not to go on holiday alone with opposite sex friends as neither of you are comfortable with it are you. Go on holiday with each other and ask friends to join you 😊

It isn't ok. It's a terrible idea which threatens their marriage.

But can OP reasonably object, when she has done the same before?

I'm off on my own this week, DH staying home with DC. Over the years we have both had several holidays with other people, not as described by OP, but it's not a problem to holiday with someone other than your partner. I'm not co dependent and neither is DH, that's what makes a relationship imo. We are both secure in ourselves and have no reason to prevent the other taking a holiday.

I don't understand why you have allowed your son to just decide he's not going with his dad when tickets have already been booked and paid for. I would be saying no to that firstly.
Also I think you should go with your husband.

If he didn’t trust her people would say it’s because he’s projecting and he either wants an affair or is having one.

she doesn’t trust him despite having been on holiday with another man herself. Is she projecting?

I know quite a few people who do - largely because of non aligned interests(eg one partner loves hard hiking and the other doesn't) or because one partner can get time off work and the other can't

"It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that I don't trust him"

Is what some people are saying here

So you are only ever allowed to spend time with your partner?

I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone so controlling and demanding on my time...

You have done the same. You don't have a leg to stand on. He should go on the sexy holiday.

Yes, this the bit that surprises me the most - ie the boys being able to pull out of a booked and paid for ho,I day (I assume) because they prefer to go on a different holiday. If the planned trip has already been booked and paid for - or even if it hasn't but time booked off work, plans made etc - I would want the trip to be salvaged!

I suppose you've never heard of two people of the opposite sex going on holiday together and neither initiating sex at all? Because they are just friends?

If you don't think a particular man can be trusted to go on holiday with another woman without making a move on her, don't marry him. If you don't think any man can, stay single.

DP and I have both been away one-on-one with other men, other women, gay friends, lesbian friends. Reasons include one of us having annual leave but the other one doesn't; music festivals where one of us isn't into the main genre; off the beaten track trekking where a proper bed and electricity isn't guaranteed (not for me); work-adjacent trips that I've turned into extended stays. No one has made any inappropriate move. This is the norm in my group of friends (hence always having someone to join us on trips). The panic induced by the phrase "another woman" on MN is baffling to me.

The thing the OP should put her foot down about is the children apparently unilaterally deciding holiday logistics, wtf.

In fact, if a woman posts on here that her husband does something with a female friend the advice is often to do the same yourself to “show him how it feels”

perhaps he asked advice when op had her holiday (which I’m sure nothing happened on…) and was told to do the same himself (presuming he posted as a woman not a man)

I can't imagine being in a relationship where either of us swan off on holiday with other people. Mind-boggling.

Probably the same planet that think it's fine for them (assuming they're female) to go on holiday with another (single!) male?!...

All of these comments are mental. If he wants to cheat, he would cheat. Could be with someone at work, or a woman at the gym or a waitress or anyone. I bet this other woman, who has committed the ultimate crime in the eyes of married women by actually divorcing, finds your husband repellent. As I find 90% of my friend's husbands.

Why? Because of Trump? I can't stand the man but I still travel to the US.

If you’d posted about your holiday with a male friend that you took, you’d be told that it’s fine, your husband can’t dictate what you do, and you should go.

now you’re posting about his holiday with a female friend you’re being told you’re right to say no, it’s dodgy and wrong.

im afraid you set the rules when you holidayed with another man and now you don’t like it the shoe is on the other foot. You embody the hypocrisy that is rife on mumsnet.