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Original poster

Ask DH to not go on holiday with female friend.

335 replies

Freelll · 17/02/2025 21:44

My DH & DS have gone on holiday with DS’s friend and his mother several times in the past. They all share an interest in basketball and travel to the US to watch NBA games.

This year, despite booking tickets, the children have decided they want to travel with the friend’s father instead - the friends parents are divorced. However, my DH & this woman, are still planning to travel to the US together, as the tickets have already been paid for.

I don’t want him to go on holiday with just her; I have never been 100% comfortable with these trips but decided to keep my mouth shut because I’ve gone on holiday with male friends in the past, which my husband was unhappy about. I regret being so blood minded at the time.

Is it reasonable to ask him not to go?

OP posts:
OneShoeShort · 17/02/2025 22:05

But also I agree with PP that letting the boys back out wouldn't be an option for me for parenting reasons. That's not ok.

OneShoeShort · 17/02/2025 22:05

I’ve gone on holiday with male friends in the past, which my husband was unhappy about.

Honestly you've probably made your bed here. How did you react when he expressed his feelings about you going on trips with opposite-sex friends?

Nina1013 · 17/02/2025 22:02

Are ‘the boys’ actually adults? Because that’s the only scenario where the idea of a ‘boy’ deciding he’s not travelling with his parent on a planned and booked trip but is instead going with another person of his choosing is in any way actually possible….

If that’s the case, I would swiftly change it to a romantic trip with your husband, one which where of course you’re happy to meet up for the game with this woman since tickets have already been purchased, or if she decides not to holiday alone you’d be happy to buy her ticket off her. Job done.

Your husband CANNOT justify telling you he would rather travel solo with another woman, therefore it puts it to bed. If the sticking point is the NBA then you can surely make yourself act like a fan for a couple of hours of your life.

everythingthelighttouches · 17/02/2025 21:57

You have got to be kidding me!

Newbutoldfather · 17/02/2025 21:55

If you hadn’t been on holidays with male friends, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask him.

But, as you have, what would you say which wouldn’t make you look like a hypocrite?

Duh · 17/02/2025 21:54

If this happens the children are making fools out of the adults (changing who is taking them when a trip has been prepaid!) and your husband is making a fool out of you.

No way in hell would I let this happen.

Greenfencebrowntree · 17/02/2025 21:50

It's a bit late for the boys to decide they don't want to go when it's already booked. If the adults are going to honour the booking, why leave the kids behind?

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 17/02/2025 21:50

Yanbu at all - can you invite yourself along?

BatchCookBabe · 17/02/2025 21:45

Ooooh, I wouldn't like this. YANBU to ask him to not go.

Vaxtable · 17/02/2025 21:45

Why do t you go with themas well? I would

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