Ask DH to not go on holiday with female friend.

Yep.

I've been away with my best friend who is male hundreds of times involving things that wouldn't interest my DH, mainly football related. I also didn't shag him and he didn't try to shag me.

Amazing, I know.

You are clearly on dodgy ground here and have been very foolish OP, but you say you went away with a friend. Is he saying this thrown together situation is now a real friendship, and he wants to spend time with her instead of you?

In fact, what the x!üäö is wrong with all of you? Never mind how much money do you have, how much precious holiday time do you have that you all squander it with random third parties, rather than spending the vast majority of it together? What kind of family, what kind of a marriage are you? Unfortunately this situation is throwing these questions into sharp relief and it's upsetting for you, not least because you have been a major contributor. Also, on what basis does friend's Disney Dad get to lure the two boys away from an already booked holiday, and you three adults just go along with it? It's a mess.

One can see the attraction from the other Mum's side in having someone to go away with I suppose, but that he's so happy to do so rings major alarm bells. It may already be too late, but an honest conversation between you two is called for. See if you can sort it out before it's too late. I wish you well.

OP: if you now feel uncomfortable about this, talk to your DH. Be honest and tell him that now the dynamic has changed you do not want him to go away just with this woman.

Tell him you know it is tricky as you have previously been away with a male friend… but just talk to him.

Are you sure that the change of plan with the boys wasn’t known all along?

Umm no you can’t object if you’ve been away with male friends! That would be really hypocritical.

But also they shouldn’t have let the boys pull out of the holiday of it was bought and paid for and money was lost as a result.

But why is it mind-boggling? I’ve been to NY with a male friend who shares my enthusiasm for art, and DH sometimes meets a female friend of his for football trips to Rome or Barcelona which would bore me to tears. I certainly haven’t shagged anyone other than DH.

So this threads says:
Woman is recently divorced and will try and jump him and his poor male brain won't stop her
And
Men only want sex so he will have sex with her and she won't have any autonomy in it because that's just what men are like even though OP went away with other men and managed not to have sex with them (we assume)

This is more like a hobby trip tbh.

I'm going to bet the "children" are at least 16

Just make sure the two of you go on holiday together too

It would for some

But they go often to watch the NBA
Which means to them it's like going to Skeggy

You can't really change the arrangement for this holiday.

Tell DH that now you understand why he was not happy with you going on holiday with male friend and that you are sorry for going ahead when he expressed concern.
Tell him you will no longer go on holidays with male firends and that could he please make this the last holiday with his female friend.

If he would agree to that, it will be sorted for next time.

Next time also why don't you and he go alone together to the basketball? Try it, you might have a ball!

That's a fair question. I just ignored it the first two times. Sorry, nothing personal.

I see you're right about the new spelling though. Kudos.

Think I'll suggest to my DH I fancy a holiday with Johnny, we've got so much in common & he said he would love to take me to Paris.Why don't you arrange to go off with Lisa on the same week & play golf. You know how I hate golf. 🤣🤣🤣
The mind boggles!

I don't understand this at all. I don't know anyone who would be happy with the husband going on holiday with another woman. I don't know any man who would be happy with his wife going on holiday with another man.

Both are technically correct.

At least two other posters spelled it the same way I did. Why did you "correct" me and not them?

Or even gallivanting.

The same planet where it was perfectly fine for OP to go on holiday with another man?

Or galavanting around with other men.

I see holidays advertised to places far more despotic than the US at my high speed travel shop.

You're being a hypocrite given you went on holidays with male friends despite your husband not liking it. . Why can't you just tell the kids they need to stick to the original plans or are they not actually children any more? Any chance you could go as well for the main part of the holiday and leave them to the event?

Am gobsmacked that 22% think this is okay! On what planet do people think it’s fine that their husband go on holiday with another (single!) female?! Bonkers…

Women are pickier. Less inclined to an opportunistic shag with whoever we are thrown together with.

Look, I'm not saying either of these people are necessarily interested in shagging each other. But if one of them turns out to have packed condoms on the off chance, it will be him.
I have never heard a tale of a man and a woman going away together, the woman intiating sex, and the man coming over all shocked and refusing. The other way round, of course.

Agree! How old are the children? What about this woman makes you uncomfortable? and yanbu, I wouldn't like this either.

You went away with a male friend. You can't really object then. It's nuts that the children are simply allowed to back out, though.

Were your holidays with your male friend as grand as this USA trip OP? Were they recent or years ago before you had kids? Because I think there is a big difference between going backpacking with a platonic uni friend in your 20s to fucking off to the States with one of the Mums from school.

OP galavanted about with another man. What's the difference?

Ha ha! Not in a million years would this be happening. Most reasonable people would recoil in horror and say ‘Well we’re not going on the trip now the kids have pulled out! How bloody weird would that be!?! They must be incredibly close to even considering this. Even if it is platonic (which I don’t think it is) they must be very comfortable in each others company. Three meals a day together for two weeks in America. This for many would be classed as a once in a lifetime holiday and your husband is going with one of the Mum’s from school. Fucking ‘ell. No way.

True, the reason she doesn't want him to go is fear of shagging.

Problem is, trusting him is one thing, but she probably doesn't trust her.

Temptation is real unfortunately.

You're right about her double standards. If he'd done it first, people here would be telling her to absolutely go on the trip.