I probably am being unreasonable but i need to vent.....

It's a funny old life isn't it, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't with these fucking conditions. I tell people and they reject me, I don't tell people and they look aghast that I suddenly can't walk up some stairs or have to stop after 5 minutes.

If it makes you any happier she is probably lying awake at night, wondering how destitute she will be when the child tax credit elements are gone, and she still has ill health but now a practically unemployable gap in the CV and no prospects. No savings above £6000 and still renting.

Oooo she'll probably be poverty stricken in old age AND disabled.

Does that make you feel warm inside op?

And I am on benefits as a single mother, would I swap that for having my ex husband back? Yes.

Did I ask to have triple the money than when I was married? No.

It came with the fact I became single on benefits and receive child maintenance.

I don't have MS but I am losing the ability to walk with a similar condition. Sometimes I seem 'normal' as I push through the pain because I get fed up. It's people like you that make me nervous to ever speak about it in the first place.

Another vivid account of what living with a disability (specifically, lupus) is like - thank you for sharing it and I hope you continue to live the best life you can in spite of all your difficulties and pain. 🤗

Yes, this.
I have a friend who has MS. She lives for her holidays (she goes on small cruises and coach trips).
Her last coach trip, she could not get up the steps onto the coach, so had to abort it and go home. She didn't realise that her previous trip would have been her last one. She has had to quit her WFH job as she can no longer see her PC monitor and the apps on it. To make up for her wage shortfall, had to give up her Motability car, so her world is even smaller now.
Her son is her carer. He lives with her and has never worked (he is in his 30s)... has what she assumes is undiagnosed ASD. When she is gone, how will he manage?
She is living on benefits now.

I imagine OP's friend will also be worried about her own children as her MS progresses. All the UC and PIP money in the world wont help with that.

Mind your own. MS is shit.

Having watched one of my parents die from MS and be disabled for 20 years, to the extent they couldn't eat, drink, see or speak. Or use the toilet. I think you are incredibly ignorant.

Bottom line OP, do you want to give up your job and be on benefits (while also being a single mother and having MS)? I'm assuming you don't and I assume you're very grateful you have the qualifications and health to do the job you do and that you can take pride in earning a living from. If you have an involved and caring family, extra bonus..

I would focus on my own life and I'd be very clear to the gossiping mothers that I don't want to be part of their lovely chat..

You need to focus on yourself, and stop having envy. Her spending & ££ is none of your business.

Child maintenance payments don't count as income for any benefits, including Universal Credit (which OP's "friend" is getting in addition to PIP).

This is depressingly common unfortunately. I know someone with ME (not MS). They haven't worked in 20+ years, if ever, and live totally (and comfortably) on disability benefits. Her DH was apparently her carer, so he didn't work either, got carer's allowance instead. While they were together DH did all the domestics, school runs etc, while she stayed home and wasn't well enough to help out. She split up with him and told him to leave about the time that their youngest dc started secondary school (conveniently just as the kids had all reached a level of independence).

She now leads a very active lifestyle - regularly out going to concerts and sporting events (season ticket holder), out socialising, drinking and smoking with no apparent financial concerns or health limitations. But if there's ever anything she doesn't fancy doing, the ME conveniently strikes her down.

A mutual friend lives on a council estate, she works full time, but a lot of her neighbours seem comfortably better off, without working or showing any health issues.

@smileitlightsupyourface
It would be interesting to see what the results would be if you'd put a poll on. I'd bet more votes would be YANBU.
FWIW I totally get how you feel.
I also don't think anyone on benefits should get more than someone working a full week on minimum wage and paying full rent/mortgage etc.

MS is awful, I’ve seen what it does to someone. It robs them of their life so she’s probably making the most of the time she has before she’s wheelchair/bed bound and not able to communicate. Not all MS sufferers will be the same or progressive to this extent but wouldn’t you try and enjoy life in her circumstances?

You're getting a lot of grief, OP, predictably, because that's what tends to happen on MN. But I agree, it's counter-intuitive that there are many people who don't work who are better off than those who do. Yes, many of them have significant problems (health related and otherwise), but that doesn't mean you don't have the right to vent about it. Having sympathy for their life situation and questioning how your friend can afford to live a life that is apparently more luxurious than yours aren't mutually exclusive. Know that some people will sympathise with you, just not many on here.

Gosh this is terrible. Leave this poor woman alone @smileitlightsupyourface

Milking the system? FFS, she has MS. She is not going to make old bones, and her life leading up to then is just going to be increasingly limited in terms of what she can do. People with MS go to Dignitas.

You sound like a bunch of nasty bitter bullies.

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

So what benefits was she receiving for 23 years before UC and PIP?

Block her and delete her. She deserves better friends.

Hey op I get your frustration some people just know how to milk the system and now she’s passed it on to her kids. I would stop following her and not get too wound up as it’s only going to do you harm and not her. I know loads of people who do this and have a better life than people who work. It makes me so mad but the government are working on sorting out the lazy people who can work but choose not to.

@AngelicKaty you are right when you say I have not had meaningful contact with benefits. In fact I have had none. I have been lucky. My point was only if she comes from a wealthy family she shouldn’t receive those benefits because they are a scarce resource and should be left to those who really need it. But as you say social media often portrays something that is not.

I think you feel resentful OP because you have no idea what her day-to-day life is like and you think she's raking it in in benefits and living the high life which, of course, is utter nonsense because no-one gets rich on benefits despite what the likes of GB News say.

She isn't "poorly" OP - she's disabled. She isn't going to get any better, only worse. Please don't keep digging.

PIP isn't means-tested - it's designed to help someone with a disability to live their life as if they didn't have that disability i.e. like everyone else who is able-bodied. And if you think any benefits are "automatically dished out" then you've had no meaningful contact with the UK benefits system. Given that OP's "friend" has a Motability car, she's likely in receipt of the enhanced Daily Living and Mobility elements of PIP which from April this year will amount to £187.45pw i.e. £9,747.40pa, but most of that will go towards paying for the lease on her Motability car. If she's renting her home, in addition to her standard allowance of UC, she will get a housing element towards her rent (Local Housing Allowances haven't kept pace with rising rents in recent years so it will be unlikely her rent is paid in full) plus a disability element for herself and child elements for two of her children (she gets nothing for the others due to the "two child benefit cap"). She will not be living the "high life" on benefits - either the children's father(s) are paying maintenance or maybe she's getting help from family in order to live her apparently "luxurious" lifestyle - the truth is, of course, EVERYONE makes their lives out to be fabulous on (anti)social media.