I probably am being unreasonable but i need to vent.....

I honestly can't believe people like this OP exist. I have multiple disabilities and get the enhanced rate of PIP for both elements. I have to have a Motability car because I'm a wheelchair user, so that takes away £450 a month of my PIP. It leaves me with £400 a month. That money should be spent on my disabilities. A mere £400 that doesn't even cover weekly physio or therapy. I can't spend it on what it's supposed to be for, because I only get £100 a month UC.

No housing element, no reductions in anything. That's it. That's all I get. £500 a month benefits. That covers half my rent and half the electric bull. Nothing else. Your "friend" will be having help from elsewhere.

It breaks my heart to think of that poor woman being judged by someone she believes to be a friend, as well as random school mums. My sister had MS, and looked healthy, but if you saw her in her own home, crying because she'd lost control of her bladder again, not being able to clean herself because her leg wasn't working, wanting to die, then maybe you'd change your mind.

Though I doubt it.

You can't debate with people like that.

PIP is not a work related benefit. Ignorance from you again.

So someone with a life limiting illness is a slacking grifter? What an appalling comment.

This can't be real, you have to be a troll. The woman has MS. It's literally a terminal illness. It can be well controlled for many years with drug therapy, but as it stands currently those drugs will stop working at some point and she will end up dying of the disease, probably earlier than she should have done. And yes, I know a lot about this as my MIL has MS.

So yes, YABU. And are a really horrible person. Hope that helps.

What you said didn’t come across as moany to me. Not in the slightest.

You feel this resentful because your envious.

Make no mistake, you are not just venting, if you don't like seeing her updates, then don't fkin stalk her. Butt out of her life, don't listen when others talk about her, it's that simple.

Or choose to join in and be just as hateful, because they are all horrible people too, just because they are "all" doing it, doesn't make it right.

Thank you, I know I sound a bit moany but I can't talk to anyone about it in real life. I do get on with it. Thanks for the virtual hug (weak one back at you) 😀😊

Virtual hugs if wanted.

I hear very similar from my friend with MS. I have another chronic illness, so I understand to some extent. These illnesses are cruel.

The neurodegenerative conditions are such fun fun fun, you can 'look normal' for sure but as I said upthread you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. I 'look normal' except for a bit of a limp, I'm very good at pushing along with everything. I've lost friends because of this because they can't fathom that I can pop to a shop but then can't get in due to the step. A fun one - sometimes in the middle of
speaking half my face just randomly stops working. Yes it's just a bag of fun that one, I've been called pissed, laughed at etc.
I can't always join a meal out because my swallow doesn't always work. But hey I wear my makeup, I try to keep going, I look like I'm having fun. Reality, I'm in near constant pain, I'm fucking knackered, I'm terrified. I'm fucking terrified.

MS is a progressive disease - the outcomes vary but in the worst case scenarios your friend might go blind or be fully wheelchair dependent. She is probably trying to enjoy her life while she can, and I don't blame her.

Do you ever stop to think that maybe she is documenting her fun days out with the kids so that they have some memories to look back on of better times, because when she is in a wheelchair full time and cannot do anything for herself, that is all they will have.

It's a cruel disease, you and the other mums bitching about her are truly awful people.

Keep your eye on your own game. Life is too short to be competitive and jealous.

Count your blessings, be grateful for what you have and get off social media. It makes you feel bad.

Those bitchy school mums sound vile.

Op, you do realise that many people/families in the uk, very likely including yourself from the little you've described do not contribute more to the public purse than they take out.

That includes many people who work full time their entire lives and never need to take out of work or disabled benefits. I assume you don't mind people getting free schooling and healthcare, child benefits and pensions etc? Even if they aren't net contributors?

So people in glass house shouldn't throw stones.

What a bunch of bitches

User@BettyBardMacDonald has a poorly thought out plan to claim PIP due to the injuries caused by setting her pants on fire

You just need to end the friendship. She revolts you which is bad for you, and you despise her, which is bad for her.

The boasting on social media is something I would struggle with, but then as friends are usually like-minded people with common interests which leads to the mutual friendship, my friends don't do that and nor do I. So that works for us.

Similarly, I have plenty of acquaintances who live their lives through social media, and whose friends do so too. This is why they all rub along quite cheerfully. Horses for courses and all that.

The whole claiming PIP and everything else, I simply could not get worked up about. There are rules and regulations around it all, and people who are paid to carry out the assessments. It is not my place to say that anyone does not deserve what they have been authorised. The only time it ever got me down was when I found myself ferrying around a family member or else lending her money for taxis, because despite being in poor health and a non-driver, instead of taking the £70-odd a week mobility payment, she'd opted for a motability car which her son uses...and by that I mean for himself, day in, day out, never taking his mother anywhere, while she pays for taxis and cadges lifts & cash from mugs like me.

You are clearly picking and Choosing the bits you want to see.
Do you know how difficult it is to get PIP?
she’s only been diagnosed for two years she would’ve had it longer. It often takes a time to get a diagnosis. I’m guessing you really wouldn’t want to swap places with her but would rather bitch about her with other people in the school playground and anybody else who might listen to the crap you are spouting.
It’s not a free car if you need wheelchair accessible vehicle and any extras that comes at a cost the uncertainty with PIP Is not for the faint hearted, Constant reviews, your uncertainty of whether you’re gonna be able to keep the benefit whether you’re gonna have to send the mobility car back.
Friend, you are clearly , not.
if she’s got such a cushy life Why don’t you try it? then you’ll be more qualified to understand. Given that you know so much about her, I’m surprised you don’t know what maintenance payment she gets.

Am fucking sick of seeing this type of shit on here.
Mumsnet is fast becoming a platform for the most hateful people to spew their disgusting, uneducated, unenlightened bile.
And encouraged to do so, too.

I watched my poor MIL die of MS...SHE WAS 54!!! There is no way she could fund her life on benefits alone, trust me. Her husband took early retirement and my DH also contributed some cash to help make the house wheelchair friendly. Her youngest son doesn't even remember his mum ever being able to walk. By the end she was paraplegic. I cannot put it into words what a horrible horrible illness it is. And the NHS was a piece of crap to her, her care was so abysmal, it makes me cry to think of it.

Yes, there are lots of good days. But they are numbered and you may have many good years or very few. You don't know. There are MS sufferers who live until their 70s.

You sound jealous and not much of a friend!she has an illness, why shouldn't she and her children have a nice life just because she is on benefits?

That's nice, dear. 🙄

I don’t work in a typical job role for the moment as I have investments which earn money and some family wealth. Your ‘friend’ also has serious health issues!! Would you like her to not go to the gym and lie in bed all day? You sound ignorant. Kindly peoples’ lives are nothing to do with you - run your own race. You do know right that many people aren’t working 9-5 and have different lifestyles to you.. the beauty in our society is that you have freedom to choose your path. If you don’t like the one you’re on, find a new way. There’s no point hating your friend when the problem is your own choices clearly.

Just because other people are discussing it, that doesn't make it ok - it just means there are several more dickheads around.
MS is one of the cruelest things I've ever witnessed. I'd suggest reading up on it rather than bitching online about someone you are meant to be friends with.
Putting "friend" in inverted commas is ironic when with your attitude, you're lucky to have any at all.

And what, I can sometimes lift stuff in the garden, it's hard but I can do it. It's not really safe and my family give me shit for it. I still crawl up the stairs and can't swallow properly.