I probably am being unreasonable but i need to vent.....

Good to see that the majority of replies have been from enlightened supportive people.

As soon as a post starts with
i know someone who has never worked in their life, I know the rest of their posts will be the same.

The friend of a friend of a mate down the pub, who gets loads of benefits, has holidays nice cars and clothes, children have expensive hobbies, has absolutely nothing wrong with them, is also bullshit, designed to set people against those that are on benefits.

My husband was full time stay at home Dad, whilst I worked in a very good job, very secure and lots of career progression.

My husband became ill and it took a long time to find out the cause, He’d had MS for over ten years, then diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour.

I’ve been on PIP many years due to a workplace assault.
I get a works pension which is taxed.
i get carers allowance for my children and they get PIP and esa.

both myself and my son do many hours a week volunteering, it makes us feel valued and we focus on what we can do.

it’s depressing to think what we can’t do and what we’ve lost.

i much prefer our families attitude than the small, narrow minded minority of posters on here.

What an awful post !
She has MS so anything she might post on social media will be a small snippet of a good day when she’s in remission.
There is no way she’s funding long haul holidays , someone else must be paying for that 🤔 and s others have mentioned the mobility part of her PIP will fund the vehicle she has.
Also maybe some aren’t aware but there are charities who support disabled people and their carers .
These charities will often get funding to offer disabled people and their carers a holiday but that’s usually a small holiday cottage in the UK or a day out / passes for the zoo / concert / convention/ theme park .

Yes, nearly everyone will become disabled. Aging is a privilege. And if you do get the opportunity to live a long life, you will likely become disabled. Be grateful for the health you enjoy and don’t begrudge those who get some government help. You too one day may need such assistance.

I don't actually think people hide their rampantly ableist views, although I respect you for having a more nuanced take on it and realising the narrative "I'd be better off on benefits - disabled people are scrounging" is just that: a narrative. Where it comes from is up to the individual to decide but I'd always encourage critical thinking. And, of course, everyone is a slip, a fall, a dianosis, a pandemic, away from needing the state. Look at the many celebrities battling illnesses. Let me ask people criticising "scroungers". If you developed something which pulled you away from work and you had to be in hospital for months, ill, weak, scared you'd lose your home, would you also be a scrounger? I wouldn't call you that.

Yes, thank you for this thoughtful post.

👏👏👏👏

Basically they want to force people into jobs that don't exist, ie employers that are prepared to accommodate disabilities of whatever kind. Wages that are so low that they wouldn't keep a cat. C19 vaccines have caused thousands of injuries so more people now unable to work. NHS waiting lists years long. Go after the billionaire tax avoiders, close the loopholes. Not a chance .

What an utterly reductive argument you've made after being called out.
Defending disabled people - some of the most vulnerable in society - is not "keyboard nastiness".
My only purpose to replying to you was with the hope you wouldn't do it again. I will not stand by and watch disability discrimination. Because ANYONE who is disabled knows they would swap all the money in the world to be well.

It is ugly, brutal and unfair. I know people with uncontrolled epilepsy. They are very, very ill. You haven't asked, but I'll address your points in order:

1. Some people probably do abuse the system. I don't see how that's relevant to the outright disability discrimination I see on this thread. Some workers also pay cash-in-hand. Do you so closely interlink those two?
2. I understand your child has autism, but that's not especially relevant. You go onto say "she hasn't had a seizure since she was a child". Does she also have epilepsy? And she's able to work. That's fantastic but merely illustrates that all disabilities are different and impact people differently.
3. Her children (your grandchildren?) also have autism and are in mainstream school. Again, it shows that disabilities and disorders present differently.
4. You criticise people not working but getting "thousands". But you don't know she got thousands in benefits. I suspect that's hearsay and you're taking it out on her. Also, she's got epilepsy - presumbly severe enough not to work, and so is entitled to money.

I can't have children and did work for a large part of my life. I don't having resent paid for you and your daughter and your grandchildren to receive NHS care, as they presumably did, and child benefit. I don't resent them getting free schooling.

I think that's what taxes are for. I don't say " mine can only go towards X." That's not how it works.

I really hate people think it is and the target is on disabled people's backs. We're not - on the main - scroungers. We're just incredibly unlucky.

I personally think it’s crazy that working people are struggling to pay for basic things like gas and electric and there are people out there getting thousands a month and going abroad every school holiday but never worked a day.
There can be little difference between a low income worker and someone on full disability benefits, believe me that neither are going abroad on school holidays or splashing the cash.
Both would be in a very similar position financially.
They probably enjoy the occasional treat but mostly definitely No Don't have the life that some people try to moan about or be jealous of.

The stashing of the money is a separate issue, and it is wrong. No one would dispute that.

The rest though... all third hand info anyway (her mum told your mum who told you etc). Reminds me of " If you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with your own eyes, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth"

The benefits she gets is between her doctors and the DWP, no one else. Working people who are struggling are not doing so because of people claiming benefits.

Oh god I forgot how many nasty keyboard warriors sit on here each day trying to start arguments. My point is clear that some people abuse the system. I’m sure you would have a difference of opinion if someone was stashing money away to avoid tax. I actually have a child with Autism and it hasn’t stopped me working full time throughout her whole life. She hasn’t had a seizure since she was a child. Her kids have autism, they are in main stream school. I personally think it’s crazy that working people are struggling to pay for basic things like gas and electric and there are people out there getting thousands a month and going abroad every school holiday but never worked a day.

😂

Oh and block your " friend" if she winds you up so!

Do you want MS yourself OP? I doubt it. Health is EVERYTHING!! Your " friend " is probably grabbing life by the horns right now. Good on her too!!

In the real world lots of people secretly feel like the OP - why do you think we've had so many years of the tories?

And even though I disagree with the OP, I understand the bitterness when you do everything 'right' and are still struggling.

However, the real problem is that wages have fallen out of keeping with the cost of living in this country. Anyone working full time should be able to find a modest lifestyle free from acute worries about money IMO (obviously there are variables). The anger is best focused on financial greed and poor politics than people on benefits though.

When my DC were tiny and I became a homeless mother of two following an incident of domestic violence, I carried on working full time, bought a house and never claimed benefits other than CB. I would have undoubtedly been better off day to day by giving up work and claiming. My friends on benefits were able to afford to meet up for coffee while I couldn't even afford to feed myself. The reason I didn't resent this was because I had the sense to realise I had something they didn't at that time - a pathway to a better future.

When the kids grow up and the benefits stop, where are you left?

20 years later I own my home, have a great career and don't worry about money. One of my friends started working when her child started secondary school and she didn't need to worry about childcare for work. She's better off than she was but will never be 'well off'. Another friend whose physical and mental health is very poor now and whose confidence is on the floor won't likely work again and lives a hand-to-mouth existence on benefits (including PIP). She has no way of improving her life and slid further into poverty once her DC grew up, moved out and the benefits stopped. She's a lovely person living a miserable life. If life were fair she'd be a millionaire, but it isn't.

So FF a few years OP. Your "friend's" DC will grow up. All the child-related payments will stop. She could easily end up like my friend if her MS deteriorates as might be expected. Whereas you could be sitting pretty by that time. You have a future with lots of possibilities and promise. Hers are far more limited. Don't resent that. Resent the fact that we live in a low wage, high cost society in one of the richest countries in the world where wealth could definitely be spread more equally.

That poster has already acknowledged that she'll be reframing her thinking. Few posters are decent enough to do that.

You lose 300 quid of your pip which is £737 ish on highest rate. Maybe each absent father actually pays maintenance

A ‘thank you’ 🤣🤣🤣

Yes, you are right and I do need to reframe the way I think about the state pension as AngelicKaty correctly stated.

Yes, you are right.

Lol, what a load of drivel and you've totally taken my comment out of context. Just because someone is on benefits doesn't mean they have never, or will never contribute to the state.

The inference is clear. Pensions not a benefit because you have contributed and deserve it. So benefits are for people who do not contribute ergo don’t deserve. I see you.

The state pension really is a benefit and it takes up more than half of the DWP budget (the clue's in the name - the Department for Work and PENSIONS). You really need to reframe the way you think about the state pension. As PPs have pointed out, the NI contributions (which are just another tax) being deducted from the salaries of the current working population are paying for the pensions of current pensioners - not being ring-fenced for the future payment of their own SP. With an ever-shrinking working population and an ever-growing retired population (due to people generally being healthier and living longer), it's predicted that the SP won't even exist by the time a now 20yr old reaches national retirement age - where will their "thank you" be for working 45+ years?

Omg what do you think a disabled person's life should look like? You really don't have a clue. Most disabled people would swap everything to be healthy again.
Aa a friend, have you ever been there for her bad days? Have you talked with her about her fears for the future? I'm guessing you are not that friend.

@MurdoMunro Benefit scroungers are always ‘others’ eh? Always undeserving and not Like you.

Wtf are you on about? You find a comment of mine that even hints that I think people on benefits are scroungers.