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AIBU?

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I probably am being unreasonable but i need to vent.....

336 replies

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:05

I have an "friend" who is on benefits. She receives universal credit, PIP ( for MS) and has a car on the motability scheme. I know she has MS and has bad days but she lives a very active life...goes to the gym regularly, goes on active days out with the children each week and has a very active social life. This friend has literally never ever worked a job. She had kids young and has always been on benefits. Her dc have expensive hobbies such as horse riding and golf and are also season ticket holders at a premiership football club. She has none of the dc fathers on the scene and her family don't have much to do with them. She is constantly posting pictures on social media of her dc doing their hobbies and expensive days out. They are currently on a very expensive long haul holiday for half term. Its really starting to grate on me that she doesn't work and never has but lives this type of lifestyle while i work full time and as well as being constantly knackered i would struggle to afford her lifestyle. I know im being unreasonable but she seems very tone deaf when posting all this stuff on social media when so many are struggling to pay bills. I really don't want to be bitter but its winding me up!

OP posts:
PassingStranger · 17/02/2025 21:38

People should keep their finances to themselves so that their so called friends cant come online and bore everyone ranting off.

Anonym00se · 17/02/2025 21:37

I have a friend with MS. Her 6 year old dd has just been taken into care because she’s no longer well enough to take care of her, and there’s nobody else in the family who can take her. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. This may be what lies further down the line for your “friend”. Don’t begrudge those poor children some happy memories because one day it will be all they have.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 17/02/2025 21:36

DD’s friend’s mum has MS. She is very active and healthy which is a choice she has made to help her manage her disability. If she receives any benefits, PIP, motability… I do not begrudge her this even for one second.

newyearsresolurion · 17/02/2025 21:36

Read on MS and imagine yourself having that. She's getting what she's entitled to

MajorCarolDanvers · 17/02/2025 21:36

You are jealous of your disabled friend with a life limiting condition 😳

ToKittyornottoKitty · 17/02/2025 21:35

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:31

I know im unreasonable because i have my health but i also know that other friends and school mums think the same as me because ive overheard them discussing it.

So you’re bitchy and so are they, does that make it better somehow?

Flopsythebunny · 17/02/2025 21:35

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:05

I have an "friend" who is on benefits. She receives universal credit, PIP ( for MS) and has a car on the motability scheme. I know she has MS and has bad days but she lives a very active life...goes to the gym regularly, goes on active days out with the children each week and has a very active social life. This friend has literally never ever worked a job. She had kids young and has always been on benefits. Her dc have expensive hobbies such as horse riding and golf and are also season ticket holders at a premiership football club. She has none of the dc fathers on the scene and her family don't have much to do with them. She is constantly posting pictures on social media of her dc doing their hobbies and expensive days out. They are currently on a very expensive long haul holiday for half term. Its really starting to grate on me that she doesn't work and never has but lives this type of lifestyle while i work full time and as well as being constantly knackered i would struggle to afford her lifestyle. I know im being unreasonable but she seems very tone deaf when posting all this stuff on social media when so many are struggling to pay bills. I really don't want to be bitter but its winding me up!

Would you like to swap places with your "friend" and have her MS?

farmlife2 · 17/02/2025 21:34

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:31

I know im unreasonable because i have my health but i also know that other friends and school mums think the same as me because ive overheard them discussing it.

Maybe they'd swap with her?

I admit I'd wonder how on earth she does afford all that on benefits, figure there's someone who is being generous somewhere most likely.

ilovesooty · 17/02/2025 21:33

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:31

I know im unreasonable because i have my health but i also know that other friends and school mums think the same as me because ive overheard them discussing it.

They're unpleasant too then. Poor woman.

CuriousGeorge80 · 17/02/2025 21:32

She isn't funding that lifestyle from benefits alone, don't be daft.

She has MS, for goodness sake. Get off social media and give your head a wobble.

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:31

I know im unreasonable because i have my health but i also know that other friends and school mums think the same as me because ive overheard them discussing it.

OP posts:
Izzy24 · 17/02/2025 21:30

Quitelikeit · 17/02/2025 21:15

Doubt she could afford all that on benefits alone or maybe she is just really savvy with her spending

I thought you lost a big chunk of money if you got a car anyway?

She absolutely couldn’t afford all that on benefits. Not a chance.

girlsyearapart · 17/02/2025 21:30

Having MS is not fun. HTH

smileitlightsupyourface · 17/02/2025 21:30

LittleGreenDragons · 17/02/2025 21:11

She has none of the dc fathers on the scene

So how much maintenance is she getting? It's not mean tested btw.

I honestly don't know how much she gets in maintenance but knowing the types of men that are the dc dads I really don't think it can be much tbh.

OP posts:
Genevieva · 17/02/2025 21:28

This popped up for me today. I’m only just over 20 minutes in, but it’s a really thoughtful look at the issue of PIP.

s

AcquadiP · 17/02/2025 21:27

No amount of benefits is going to buy her good health and MS is an awful disease to be living with. Perhaps she's over compensating by creating as many good times as she can for her family whilst she is able to. I'd cut her some slack; and you don't have to read her SM posts.

MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/02/2025 21:25

Block her then.

You're not stupid, so why haven't you?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 17/02/2025 21:24

Would you rather swap with her and have MS? Or would you rather she had MS and no life enjoyment even in her healthy years?

ARichtGoodDram · 17/02/2025 21:24

You're not her friend.

My DDs social media contains her good days. She doesn't post the days she spends crying in pain. Or the ones where she sleeps all day. Or the ones where she falls 20 times a day.

Thankfully her friends are actually friends and don't judge her for that

cryinglaughing · 17/02/2025 21:23

Unfriend her, then you won't have to see her profligacy.

JaceLancs · 17/02/2025 21:23

Enhanced rate PIP for daily living is just over £5k a year, all the PIP mobility will fund the motability scheme vehicle and may have to be topped up depending on vehicle
If this person can fund expensive hobbies, season tickets and long haul holidays on £5k extra a year above UC rates then they are better at sourcing good deals than most of us
If this person actually exists then despite being absent they must be getting great child maintenance and/or have an additional income you don’t know about
Only fans? Online poker?
I am so fed up with the endless benefit threads on here recently

IKnowAristotle · 17/02/2025 21:23

You are jealous of someone with MS and you think she is tone deaf?!

letslaughitoff · 17/02/2025 21:22

This is why i dont tell anyone that i get pip or how much no one knows and im keeping it that way.
On face view im like everyone else but guess what op not everyone knows me or what i have to live with every day.

SergeantDawkins · 17/02/2025 21:20

Good grief are we really jealous of a single mum with MS?
If you think her life is so good leave your OH and quit your job I guess?

AsparagusGirl · 17/02/2025 21:20

Yeah you're being unreasonable, don't compare yourself or if you do, think of how lucky you are to have your health and not currently have a degenerative disease. Take a leaf out of your "friend"s book and try to enjoy life while you can as your health isn't guaranteed forever. Be kind.

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