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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave my 15 &11month child overnight

189 replies

Trounlet · 17/02/2025 20:16

I booked tickets for me and DH to go to see comedy in a city two hour from home. The plan was for my 2DC to stay at my MILs, however my DCs don't want to stay and have asked to be left at home overnight, tickets and hotel non refundable. Our eldest will be 15 and 11months and the younger 14. They get on really well and are both sensible.

The neighbours will be there if the DCs need them, we act as back up if either couple has an evening out.

My DH feels leaving them would be fine, but I'm a bit anxious about it.

YANBU - just go, the DC could leave home in a month.
YABU - cancel and stay at home you'll have to wait for the next opportunity once DC is 16.

OP posts:
Dramatic · 17/02/2025 20:24

An almost 16 year old? Yeah I probably would

Weedoormatnomore · 17/02/2025 20:24

Depends what your kids are like only you know them. My two I could have but their classmates no. 1 through a party had friends using a ladder over back garden to get in back door to avoid door cam. No 2 was able to use side door after marking area to avoid door camera. Both had at least 1 15 yr old passed out from too much drink. My kids showed me the photos that appeared on social media the next day.

BallerinaRadio · 17/02/2025 20:23

I'm not sure why the GP stay is negotiable to be honest, why are you letting them dictate?

WellsAndThistles · 17/02/2025 20:22

I wouldn't leave them overnight until 16 (generally deemed to be adult age in Scotland).

If there was a fire and they had to be rescued, you would end up on the front page of the newspapers as neglectful parents (even though you know the kids are sensible).

Can MIL come to yours or ask kids not to be so selfish and let you have one night away in without arguments?

UndermyShoeJoe · 17/02/2025 20:21

and by 2 hours I mean there, then time to enjoy beach then 2 hours home. Not 2 hours all in haha

Cosyblankets · 17/02/2025 20:21

Are you saying you'd get a refund if it was refundable? Because the kids didn't want to stay at GPs? Otherwise I'm not sure why that's been mentioned but no, i personally wouldn't leave them alone

UndermyShoeJoe · 17/02/2025 20:21

I have a 15 year old and honestly I don’t leave them home alone to drive 2 hours to the beach. I do wish I could but I just feel like what if. Definitely couldn’t do overnight.

Trounlet · 17/02/2025 20:21

Re MIL she won't stay as she won't leave her dog and our house cats don't get on with dogs.

OP posts:
McGregor33 · 17/02/2025 20:20

It would depend on a lot of things, can they be trusted? Do they argue/fight, do they know what to do in an emergency or can they make food/snacks without burning down the house?

My oldest is 14 I wouldn’t trust alone for half an hour, yet I know by 14 my middle one would be absolutely fine. Oldest just doesn’t seem mature/sensible enough! Prime example, she tried to boil milk in the kettle when I was in the bath. Middle daughter told her not to but she knew best 🙈

VivienneDelacroix · 17/02/2025 20:18

I thought you meant you were leaving a 15yr old and an 11 month old!!!

I wouldn't leave my 15 and 14 year olds overnight. But it depends on your children. Mine are quite young for their age and the 14 year old a bit of a worrier.

Tiswa · 17/02/2025 20:18

Sensible is fine but they are still quite young to deal with unexpected things

Danikm151 · 17/02/2025 20:18

Honestly at 15 they’d be fine for 1 night!

BlueMum16 · 17/02/2025 20:17

Personally I wouldn't. They need to go to GP as planned.

Springadorable · 17/02/2025 20:17

Can MIL stay at yours maybe?