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Original poster

To leave my 15 &11month child overnight

189 replies

Trounlet · 17/02/2025 20:16

I booked tickets for me and DH to go to see comedy in a city two hour from home. The plan was for my 2DC to stay at my MILs, however my DCs don't want to stay and have asked to be left at home overnight, tickets and hotel non refundable. Our eldest will be 15 and 11months and the younger 14. They get on really well and are both sensible.

The neighbours will be there if the DCs need them, we act as back up if either couple has an evening out.

My DH feels leaving them would be fine, but I'm a bit anxious about it.

YANBU - just go, the DC could leave home in a month.
YABU - cancel and stay at home you'll have to wait for the next opportunity once DC is 16.

OP posts:
Em1ly2023 · 17/02/2025 20:49

Trounlet · 17/02/2025 20:16

I booked tickets for me and DH to go to see comedy in a city two hour from home. The plan was for my 2DC to stay at my MILs, however my DCs don't want to stay and have asked to be left at home overnight, tickets and hotel non refundable. Our eldest will be 15 and 11months and the younger 14. They get on really well and are both sensible.

The neighbours will be there if the DCs need them, we act as back up if either couple has an evening out.

My DH feels leaving them would be fine, but I'm a bit anxious about it.

YANBU - just go, the DC could leave home in a month.
YABU - cancel and stay at home you'll have to wait for the next opportunity once DC is 16.

I would insist that they go to grandparents, so you both have the reassurance / peace of mind that they’re safe & so you can properly enjoy the break. They can both tolerate this for one night surely?!

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 17/02/2025 20:49

I'm no helicopter parent, I work late shift and leave my teen alone no problem but not overnight, no chance.

rwalker · 17/02/2025 20:48

You know your kids I would of left mine

Gagaandgag · 17/02/2025 20:48

W0tnow · 17/02/2025 20:41

Yes, I’d have left mine at that age. I wouldn’t have asked anyone’s advice on the matter.

Here’s the thing, you don’t need everyone to be ok with your parenting decisions. YOU have to be ok with them.

Spot on!

I was babysitting a 2 and 4 year old alone at 16 until 2am most Saturday nights

UndermyShoeJoe · 17/02/2025 20:44

LuckySantangelo35 · 17/02/2025 20:37

@UndermyShoeJoe

why on earth couldn’t you leave them for 2 hours?!

Show quote history

I do and have. I mean 2 hours away. For multiple hours as in a trip to the beach 2 hours there. The day. 2 hours back.

Endofyear · 17/02/2025 20:44

I wouldn't leave them overnight. I'd tell them they are going to stay with their grandparents, it's just one night and they just have to suck it up!

mrsh2025 · 17/02/2025 20:42

Almost 16 yes absolutely I would but then my eldest 3 were mature at that age. If neighbours are aware. If it's a way off why not do a "trial run" book a night very local and then you can always do a check in if you worry through evening? If that's an option

W0tnow · 17/02/2025 20:41

Yes, I’d have left mine at that age. I wouldn’t have asked anyone’s advice on the matter.

Here’s the thing, you don’t need everyone to be ok with your parenting decisions. YOU have to be ok with them.

LuckySantangelo35 · 17/02/2025 20:40

TimeForSprings · 17/02/2025 20:33

What about going to the comedy, then driving home - so someone is there in the morning, or booking another room and bring the kids to the city, and have a day there afterwards?
Say the gig is 8-11. You'd be leaving at 5pm? 4pm. And then getting up in the morning, having breakfast, driving home. Back 11am?? That's 18 hours.

@TimeForSprings

theyll not be able to have a drink then if they’re gonna drive home

ExtraOnions · 17/02/2025 20:39

Almost 16 … it will be fine.

LovelyLeitrim · 17/02/2025 20:39

Option 3 do as they’re told.

If you’re going to anxious all evening, then it’s miserable.

They go to Mil

Archive · 17/02/2025 20:39

IamnotSethRogan · 17/02/2025 20:36

Um I think I'd just tell them they were going to their grand parents as planned tbf.

I haven't voted because I wouldn't do either option. If you think that your options are let them stay at home or you have to cancel because you won't be able to get the children to go to your parents, then I wouldn't say they're well behaved enough to be left alone.

Edited

This! I’m shocked cancelling crossed your mind.

SouthLondonMum22 · 17/02/2025 20:38

Of course. It's just overnight and they are sensible, not to mention have the neighbours watching out for them.

housemaus · 17/02/2025 20:38

They'd be absolutely fine. I'd be more worried if you couldn't leave a sensible almost-16 year old alone for the night tbh!

LuckySantangelo35 · 17/02/2025 20:37

UndermyShoeJoe · 17/02/2025 20:21

I have a 15 year old and honestly I don’t leave them home alone to drive 2 hours to the beach. I do wish I could but I just feel like what if. Definitely couldn’t do overnight.

@UndermyShoeJoe

why on earth couldn’t you leave them for 2 hours?!

IamnotSethRogan · 17/02/2025 20:36

Um I think I'd just tell them they were going to their grand parents as planned tbf.

I haven't voted because I wouldn't do either option. If you think that your options are let them stay at home or you have to cancel because you won't be able to get the children to go to your parents, then I wouldn't say they're well behaved enough to be left alone.

Chariots77 · 17/02/2025 20:35

I think they'll be fine home alone. Eldest is nearly 16 and as you say many 16 year olds leave home at that age. It's a good opportunity to give them a bit of independence.

Jk987 · 17/02/2025 20:33

🚁 parents are out in force tonight!

TimeForSprings · 17/02/2025 20:33

What about going to the comedy, then driving home - so someone is there in the morning, or booking another room and bring the kids to the city, and have a day there afterwards?
Say the gig is 8-11. You'd be leaving at 5pm? 4pm. And then getting up in the morning, having breakfast, driving home. Back 11am?? That's 18 hours.

YourWildAmberSloth · 17/02/2025 20:32

Neighbours will be asleep in bed presumably. There's a difference between looking out for them for a few hours in the evening, and a whole night overnight. As a neighbour, I wouldn't want the responsibility. Personally I wouldn't leave them, but you know your children better than anyone. If you are wavering, there's probably a good reason.

Seaside31 · 17/02/2025 20:28

I don’t really understand your options tbh… Are you saying that at 15y11months you’re not sure if it’s ok to leave them but in a months time once eldest is 16 it would be fine? 🤔

I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable with an overnight at that age but you know your kids better than anyone here does. Can you trust them to remember not to leave the cooker on? To lock the doors? To not leave the house when they should be at home? To not have a bunch of friends over for the night? Do they know how to handle an emergency?

steff13 · 17/02/2025 20:27

You said they're sensible and the neighbors are standing by if they need anything, I don't see an issue.

Screamingabdabz · 17/02/2025 20:27

Our kids were very mature and sensible but I wouldn’t have left them overnight at that age. Late into the evening yes, overnight no.

UndermyShoeJoe · 17/02/2025 20:25

SofaSpuds · 17/02/2025 20:24

I actually think that's worse, you need to let your DC grow up.

And yes I have been your updated post.

Show quote history

I know. I can go out shopping for hours or to the allotments. I tbh think it’s the being 2 hours away part. I can happily leave him home alone for four hours it’s the distance part. He can cook. Has a phone etc.

SofaSpuds · 17/02/2025 20:24

UndermyShoeJoe · 17/02/2025 20:21

I have a 15 year old and honestly I don’t leave them home alone to drive 2 hours to the beach. I do wish I could but I just feel like what if. Definitely couldn’t do overnight.

I actually think that's worse, you need to let your DC grow up.

And yes I have been your updated post.