To leave my 15 &11month child overnight

Will you be able to relax if you leave them home alone?

Insist they both go to GP or the older ones may stay home alone but the 14yo has to stay with a friend......

I have a 16 and 14 year old and leave them on their own regularly, do you think your 15 year and 11 month is going to massively mature in 4 weeks??

Only you know and if they are well behaved and know how to look after themselves then they will be absolutely fine!

Backing out on the arrangement when the tickets and hotel is paid for would not be an option I would give to my children. Maybe something to think about for the future but not now. The kids would go to MIL.

No. Can they stay with friends?

I might leave an almost 16 yo if they were very sensible (in fact I have just left my 16 yo alone for two nights) but I would be wary if leaving them with the 14 yo/ the 14 yo without an adult.

This.

Tell them they have to go to MIL. It's not a question. (Unless you suspect MIL mistreats them in any way of course).

I wouldn't leave them at home overnight but I wouldn't cancel either. They don't have to get everything they want.

Tell them they need to stay with Grandma because otherwise you can't go.

Totally fine if the neighbours will definitely be in that night. Otherwise, probably fine if they can reach the GPs by phone.

Only a problem if they have a history of reckless behaviour, but I'm sure you wouldn't be considering it if they did!

They'd be fine BUT it's only okay if you are totally relaxed about it. Otherwise, it's not fair on you if it's going to spoil your evening because you are worrying.

So for that reason alone, they go to Grandparents as planned.

They will be fine

Of course it is OK. They would either be asleep or sitting on their devices all night. Pretty much the same thing they do when you are home, I imagine. People who say "what if something happens"... kids don't just magically aquire adulting skills once they turn 21. It's probably best to teach them what to do in emergencies at a much younger age.

The first time we left ours overnight our youngest was almost 16 and the eldest 17.5. We had our neighbours on standby and my brother down the road. And a doorbell camera that captures everything. It was a special treat for us after I’d finished chemo and the kids were mature enough not to take advantage.

The biggest risk at that age is they’ll have friends around and it will get out of control. A parent-free house is very popular in teenage circles. My friend’s 15yo DS had a very strong need to stay home and ‘study’ while the rest of the family travelled to a football game in another city. She was woken by a phone call from the police at 1am and her house was destroyed. She gave him another chance at 16 and was called as he was put into an ambulance with alcohol poisoning.

What happens if the 14yo sneaks out - do you expect the 15yo to tell you? Our kids never want to dob on each other so we waited until we had confidence in both of them to be sensible.

Fuck letting the kids dictate your night out.

Let them stay at home or get them to stay at GP, whatever you do, don't bloody cancel your night out because it doesn't suit them!

I would and have left DD overnight since 14. I didn't do it younger.

She's spent weekends with her best friend since turning 15 and friends parents were away for the entire weekend and left them in charge of younger sibling. No parties were had, everyone had all 10 fingers and toes at the end and the house wasn't a wreck either.

They hopefully all have mobile phones and initiative these days.

Go and enjoy yourself.

Do you think they will have a party and invite loads of kids over? If not and they know to lock the doors (keep them locked), not let anyone in and ring you or your trusted neighbours in case of problems I think it should be fine.

It's a no from me. But still go and enjoy! The kids are told what's happening and frankly don't have a say. It's for one night.

I would leave them with no problem if I know they were sensible. I'm pretty sure we did something like this with our DC.

But if I wouldn't leave them with the oldest being 15.11, I'm not sure what difference his 16th birthday would make. He's still going to be a child legally.

So you cannot leave your eldest at 15 years and 11 month old but you cannot leave them when they turn 16? What’s going to happen between now and next month to magically make them more responsible?

No, tell them to suck it up and go to grandparents as planned. You’ll
be understandably fretting if you leave them alone.

One of my friends went away for a weekend and left their 15 year old hosting air BnB guests (they rented out bedrooms in their home) I was a bit 😳all was fine. I think only you know you’re own children. I think if they’re sensible no problems

Yes I've done it with a 16 and 14 year old.. They loved it and were pissed we came back earlier than planned

I personally wouldn't. Trust doesn't come into it. You never know what could happen.

Nearly 16 yes if mature but 14 no. I wouldn’t want my 16 year old to be responsible for the younger sibling tbh. But maybe safety in numbers. Only you know them best, if they throw a crazy party you won’t do it again. I leave my teen all day but not overnight.

Would you worry about what they were up to and would it impact your evening/night away? And would you feel like you have to rush back in the morning?

At the end of the day they are 15 and 14, one night at the grandparents isn't going to kill them and will give you peace of mind to enjoy your mini break.

It has to happen at some point so rip the plaster off and get it over and done with. Set strong boundaries with who can be in the house, leave easy snacks, get a pizza delivered type thing. Clear consequences if they step out of line.

I was shipped to an elder sisters around that age and I resented every minute, when I was finally trusted to be left alone, nothing happened. I enjoyed playing house, cleaning the kitchen, watching a few films and generally chilling out. Yes there was a late bed time but that's about it. I also knew not to get up to anything silly as the neighbours would grass me up and the thought of a bollocking from my parents was enough, not to mention I wouldn't ever be trusted to be left again!