Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 15 &11month child overnight

189 replies

Trounlet · 17/02/2025 20:16

I booked tickets for me and DH to go to see comedy in a city two hour from home. The plan was for my 2DC to stay at my MILs, however my DCs don't want to stay and have asked to be left at home overnight, tickets and hotel non refundable. Our eldest will be 15 and 11months and the younger 14. They get on really well and are both sensible.

The neighbours will be there if the DCs need them, we act as back up if either couple has an evening out.

My DH feels leaving them would be fine, but I'm a bit anxious about it.

YANBU - just go, the DC could leave home in a month.
YABU - cancel and stay at home you'll have to wait for the next opportunity once DC is 16.

OP posts:
Mh67 · 18/02/2025 22:15

No chance it would be party central. I would go to show then come home

Eyerollexpert · 18/02/2025 21:04

Sorry but just TELL them they are going to Grannies like it or not it is ONE night. We'll have to do things we don't want that's life.

Toptops · 18/02/2025 20:52

I probably would, at that age and if they are sensible and get on well tigether

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 18/02/2025 20:48

Tell them they are doing as they're told!

Crazybaby123 · 18/02/2025 20:47

We had some pretty insane parties at 15 in my friends parents houses when they were away. For this reason I won't be letting my kids stay alone at that age. But depends on the children :)

MumonabikeE5 · 18/02/2025 20:45

I think they are old enough, but I would be worried about the temptation to have friends over…
id perhaps be inclined to have a baby sitter- someone in the house til midnight. with the expectation that your kids are asleep before then.

LuckySantangelo35 · 18/02/2025 20:44

Ihavenopatienceforthis · 18/02/2025 20:05

Government website says a child under 17 should not be left alone overnight.

Those saying they should do as there told and go to grandparents would you really force your child to go somewhere they don't want to.

Get a sitter to come stop with them or come home after the show

@Ihavenopatienceforthis

why on earth would a 16 year old need a babysitter??

SouthLondonMum22 · 18/02/2025 20:38

Ihavenopatienceforthis · 18/02/2025 20:22

You clearly didn't read what I put apart from I put 17 instead of 16 by mistake

Your link says there is no law, it's just a recommendation.

Her eldest is almost 16. It's absolutely fine.

sanityisamyth · 18/02/2025 20:33

From the title I thought it was a 15 year old and an 11 month old. A nearly 16 year old (and the 14 year old) should be fine? Not sure what the problem is.

TicklishMintDuck · 18/02/2025 20:28

No, they’re children and too young to deal with anything unexpected that could happen. You’ve arranged for them to stay with a grandparent - why are you allowing them to negotiate?

x2boys · 18/02/2025 20:24

Ihavenopatienceforthis · 18/02/2025 20:22

You clearly didn't read what I put apart from I put 17 instead of 16 by mistake

It's still guidance from the nspcc not the law.

Ihavenopatienceforthis · 18/02/2025 20:22

You clearly didn't read what I put apart from I put 17 instead of 16 by mistake

x2boys · 18/02/2025 20:19

Ihavenopatienceforthis · 18/02/2025 20:13

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

I didn't say at night I said overnight and under 16

Edited
Show quote history

And the first thing it says is thst there is no age a child cant be left at home alone
It says the NSPCC says a child UNDER 16 should not be left overnight but this is guidance not the law and I'm sure even they realise the situation is nuanced
It's very different leaving a child four weeks off the 16th birthday on their own overnight and a five year-old.

Ihavenopatienceforthis · 18/02/2025 20:13

x2boys · 18/02/2025 20:10

A sitter at 16🤣🤣🤣
Care to link where it says a 16 year old can't be left alone at night ?

Show quote history

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

I didn't say at night I said overnight and under 16

x2boys · 18/02/2025 20:10

Ihavenopatienceforthis · 18/02/2025 20:05

Government website says a child under 17 should not be left alone overnight.

Those saying they should do as there told and go to grandparents would you really force your child to go somewhere they don't want to.

Get a sitter to come stop with them or come home after the show

A sitter at 16🤣🤣🤣
Care to link where it says a 16 year old can't be left alone at night ?

DontBeADick11 · 18/02/2025 20:09

Repeat after me “you’re going to stay at yours grandparents, it is not negotiable”

MixedBananas · 18/02/2025 20:08

At this age your say is final. Go to Grandparents end of. 9retty simple. They are bot old enough to stay overnight alone no way.

Otherwise pay for MIL travel to come to yours.
I bet they are planning to have mates over / party?

Terfarina · 18/02/2025 20:08

Depends on the kids. My nearly 16 YO would be fine but my Most Difficult Child Ever (tm) would not have been trusted at home overnight, like - ever!

Ihavenopatienceforthis · 18/02/2025 20:05

Government website says a child under 17 should not be left alone overnight.

Those saying they should do as there told and go to grandparents would you really force your child to go somewhere they don't want to.

Get a sitter to come stop with them or come home after the show

Eggsandavocado · 18/02/2025 20:01

Depends on your kids, I’ve been leaving mine overnight since she was 14. She’s super sensible, knows how to shut off water/gas, knows how to sort the fuse board etc. We also have several neighbours she can go to if needed.

LuckySantangelo35 · 18/02/2025 12:51

Newname25 · 17/02/2025 22:35

No to an overnight. Can you not just drive back or tell them they have to go to the grandparents

@EdithBond

@Newname25

no to driving back because then they can’t have a drink can they

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 18/02/2025 07:57

This was a good 20 years ago, but I was hired as a baby sitter to a baby and a 6 year old child when I was just 14 years old. The parents would have me watch the children on nights out when they'd get home past midnight. I did just fine.

If your children are sensible, I wouldn't worry one bit about letting them stay home by themselves. Leave some food, snacks and movies for them, and have them agree to stay in the house until you get back home. If you trust them to do this, they'll be fine.

Littlemisscapable · 18/02/2025 07:39

It's fine.

chaosmaker · 18/02/2025 07:37

You said there are neighbours that can be called on and the oldest one is a month off 16. Ages are less important than maturity and you've said yours are. I'd leave them.

Have a nice time, @Trounlet

BuntyNuffins · 18/02/2025 00:56

I babysat several small children overnight at 14..If they are both happy and comfortable with it then that should be fine.
Maybe leave taxi /petrol money for the grandparent to make their way over if needed.
I'm sure they will be fine with house rules, snacks and emergency numbers/instructions.