To leave my 15 &11month child overnight

We don't know how switched on they are, but the neighbours on hand anyway, so I can't see a problem.

I wouldn't at 14.

All of my dc sleep like they're in a coma and always have. If there was a fire alarm I'm 90% sure dc2 at least (14) wouldn't stir.

Something could happen when they are 17 and 18 what would 12 months difference make?
They are either mature enough to be left or not .

I wouldn’t I have a nearly 16 year old and nearly 17 year old, I trust them both completely but I would never forgive myself if something happened. I won’t leave them overnight until they are 17 and 18. Can you kids not stay at a friends overnight? That’s what we do if we have a night away. I should add that we do live rurally and no one easily on hand if something were to go wrong which may well be an influence in my decision.

1 month off 16? Yeah I would, I would just tell them they’re to reply to messages when I ask.

Yeah, I would. I was left for a week at that age, albeit I was very mature

They have asked about staying, not dictated.
OP's husband is relaxed about it. He presumably knows his kids. It is OP only that is 'anxious' about it.
As you say, it is one night. They will be fine at home.

They should go to their grandparents as planned.

I know everyone is different but unless has additional needs and you think they are trustworthy I would say go.

My dad's rule was when we were 16 we got a job and moved out and thats exactly what we did. Times are very different now and children are children for mich longer but at very almost 16 I'd say fine. 14 maybe not so.

Otherwise the answer is send both to grandparents as a non negotiable. Both home or both not.

To those that say you can't leave a 16 year old: at what age do plan to loosen the reins a bit? They'll be fully fledged adults by 18. Do you think they suddenly hit 18 and grow up? They need time to learn and practise in small doses. I can't believe how ridiculously overprotective some parents are. Bonkers.

YABU - cancel and stay at home you'll have to wait for the next opportunity once DC is 16

Whys this an option?? Why on earth would you even consider cancelling

Your 2 options are you let them stay themselves or they get told they're going to the GP. They can suck it up for one night

So basically 16 and 14. If they are both sensible then yes.

This! ⬆️ Tough shit if they don't want to stay at grandma's - you deserve a night off & they have to suck it up!!

Teenagers, omg. No! They are probably up to something! :p

I would give them the choice of come with us and stay in a hotel room together next to us, or go to mil.

Nope! Totally irresponsible to leave them, no matter how sensible you might think they are. Anything unforeseen could happen

We left ours at that age for 2 nights, GPs round the corner. They were fine. We were 1.5 hrs away so not too far really. We also are close to our neighbours who were home to help if need be.

It’s a lot to ask a 15 year old to be responsible for locking up and switching EVERYTHING off at night, dealing with a power cut, burst water pipes, fire, and be responsible for making sure a younger sibling stays within the rules! We left one child at home when 16 and 6 months old (eldest boy) for 2 nights coming up to their GCSEs, another at 17 & 6 months (girl) for 4 nights for same reason for the first time, but not /never to be responsible for younger siblings, nor with the possibility of parties etc. The girl was also able to drive in case of issues.

Why do they get to dictate the situation - you’ve made plans based on them staying with MIL, it’s one night.

Sorry just saw original plan is go to GP - they should do that. Why should you have any worries in your background or forfeit your night away because they are pushing boundaries? Nope.

I don't see why this is even a question. Of course you leave them. My DS is 7 and although I woukdnt dream of actually leaving him overnight I am confident that he would be fine. He can make his own dinner (ham sandwich, crisps and an apple or banana) , drinks, breakfast (toast, crumpets or croissants). Knows what number the shower needs to be on for him. Knows how to turn the heating on and off and knows how to call his grandma/emergency services.

It’s only 2 hours from home, I would go but return after the gig, I wouldn’t leave them overnight.

Times have massively changed. At 16 (Just started college) My mum went away for the weekend abroad with her friends and left me in charge of my 11 year old brother. Granted I was very mature for my age, but how will you ever know you can trust your children if you don't give them the opportunity to show you they can be trusted.

Equally, asking opinions on here won't give you the answer you're looking for. You ultimately have to decide and the fact you're feeling anxious about it already just shows that even if you did allow it, you'd not settle all evening/night and waste your night away.

Perhaps do a trial run, if that's possible and stay out till early hours and see how they felt getting themselves settled for bed and 'closing' the house down for the night etc?

It's tricky and I totally understand your worries about it, but there always needs to be a first time, right?

Well yes, this. They need to suck it up.

Tbh I’d be telling them they are going to GP. They are still children and should be doing as they are told