To not give my teen DD medication

@whippy1981 can you maybe back off and stop dominating the conversation with your dogmatism. If you want to have a wider conversation about this, start a thread.

This thread is about the OP's daughter; not whatever YouTube rabbit hole you fell down.

Highly qualified in stigmatising ppl? Yeah that much is true! That is all they are qualified in doing as it appears so are you! Calling your kids abnormal is wrong.

Dr Spitzer informed them! ha ha ha! So yes you do care as he was the one who said your kids have no biological markers and who informed the staff who treat your kids! ha ha!

No born with autism and adhd that are often linked to depression, anxiety,OCD, suicidal idealisation and Anorexia( which followed later).

I couldn’t care less what “Dr Spitzer” says I take my advice from highly qualified and respected NHS / private staff not some random on MN who clearly knows zilch and most certainly doesn’t know my children.

Ignorance to know how the field was created and continues to develop? There are many models to mental health and the trauma informed one is not 'ignorant' at all. Born with CPTSD, depression, suicidal thoughts and anorexia? Really? How was that tested at birth?

So you are saying Dr Spitzer is wrong for his work on creating the labels? I am going off what he said and his work created the labels. So he must be ignorant and the DSM-V is wrong according to you? Right?

Your ignorance on this subject is palpable. No not a response to trauma at all. They started medication long before they experienced trauma. They were born with the conditions that make their medication necessary. They don’t have to show it works by coping,they gave my children medication so they were able to access the therapy that saved their lives. Five well respected NHS department and the top private practise in the area were all the same. Doing it that way round os why they’re doing so well,as advised by the experts.

So a response to trauma! If the NHS gatekeep therapy by doping then it suggests that their therapy isn't up to standard if they have to show it works by doping!

To give an alternative view. I was medicated from my teen years. I really wish I hadn't been and I do feel drs push meds at you too easily. Completely lost my teens and 20s to poor mental health. Except when I stopped the meds I was remarkably better. Meds make me anxious and suicidal, when I went back to the dr they either upped the meds or switched them. I lost years to them believing they would not be prescribed unless needed.

For me I needed to understand what autism was and how I was different and to stop trying to be like everyone else and failing and anting meds to fix me. As soon as I understood I was better. Stopped the meds and discovered they really messed my head up. It's fairly common for antidepressants to work differently in a nurodivergent brain so be watchful of that

In your shoes I would want to understand why the drs want to start her on medication.
I would think that at 15 she should be the one making the decision. You cant force her taking or not taking it anyway. What is it that your daughter wants the medication to help with?

Refusing medication because it saddens you is quite selfish, if this is what will help her then she needs to try.

Why have you waited so long? My nephew's had ritalin from about 3 years old. They would never have passed any exams without it.

You are a good mum and you have the right instincts!

I felt the same as you about medication and resisted it for my DD who is autistic. Also high achiever in grammar school. Things seemed stable enough but then things got radically worse - eating disorder, self harm, addictive behaviour.

She is now on sertraline and back on track again. She has started to enjoy life again and so much happier at school.

I would seriously consider the medication before things get worse. I delayed it and it seriously backfired.

All medications that have a positive effect can also have a negative one. Side effects are clearly disclosed and we would consider a side effect experienced by say ten percent of people to be extremely common, even though the vast majority of people would never experience it.

The side effects of medication need to be weighed against the ‘side effects’ of the problem they’re treating.

MN can’t help you, presumably you had a clear discussion with the expert managing your child’s condition, understood their evidence-based reasoning, but felt they were wrong for another reason.

Claps from me too. 👏👏👏👏

My child has asd/adhd and anxiety (incl intrusive thoughts). Took 4 years of CAMHS refusing to prescribe and then a bit of trial and error this last year. She finally started medication for severe anxiety in Nov and new meds for ADHD. We’ve not looked back. She is so angry that she wasn’t prescribed sooner as she managed to get through GCSEs but A Levels were a whole new ball game and the anxiety and symptoms got worse as she became increasingly stressed about whether to go to uni, what subjects etc. She is now doing an access course and had offers for top 10 unis but will be a couple of years older than her peers - she can focus, does not have such severe lows/panic attacks and is finally looking forward. She wishes they were offered when she was 16 not nearly 20 as she has lost several years.

In summary, it really shouldn’t be up to you whether she accepts any medication that is offered, or even enters into a discussion about whether they should be considered. It’s between her and her clinical team. Your job is to be positive and supportive.

I don't think you should be withholding medication from her that a consultant doctor has deemed necessary.

You say she's doing well, but perhaps it's a struggle for her that would be eased with meds. There must be a reason that the consultant has said it's time.

I would feel very uncomfortable denying her medicine that a doctor has said is needed.

After all, if your fears come to pass, she can stop it.

But medication can be transformative when it's the right thing. You wouldn't deny her painkillers, so why would you deny her this? That you are considering denying her MH treatment just goes to show that you do not understand her condition.

That is not true

People are not sectioned simply because they have not taken their prescribed medication

I would talk to the doctor again

there is concerns within the medical profession that children are being over medicated but you are cautious yourself and I always think it’s wise to understand fully the positives and possible negative effects of taking medication and for you daughter to understand as she may not necessarily feel better straight away

Let her try the meds. I held a lot of resentment against my parents when I first started meds for my ADHD at 18, since they refused to have me formally diagnosed or medicated due to perceived stigma, but to be honest I’m more concerned about the OCD than anything.

My sister has OCD and it got significantly worse in her early 20s before she ended up suicidal at 23 and finally sought treatment and she has had to be medicated - often heavily and sometimes with multiple medications - ever since, and she will probably never be who she was before it got so bad again.

On the other hand, I have General Anxiety Disorder along with the ADHD so have struggled with intrusive thoughts as well, but I’ve been on a low dose of an SSRI since it got bad a few years ago and I was 95% back to normal with in a month of starting it.

My daughter is a similar age and on medication for depression and anxiety. From what I understand CAMHs don’t prescribe medication lightly. If they’ve suggested it I would assume there’s good reasons behind it. Her psychiatrist has stressed she doesn’t want this to be a longterm solution. Hopefully it won’t be.

Yes, you’re the parent but your daughter is 15 and this is her mental health that hangs in the balance. I don’t think it’s fair to make the decision for her, she needs to be the one who ultimately decides whether she tries it.

Please ask your DD what she wants. At 15 she has the right to make choices about her own health and whether or not she goes on medication.

My DD is 19 has ASD, anxiety, depression and ADHD and has been on medication since she was 14. It has absolutely saved her life. We always talk through her medical decisions as a family but ultimately it is her who makes the final decision.

THIS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

ALL med have potential side effect , side effect if paracetamol is headaches

if she has asthma or a broken leg and a dr said “take this” , you would not think twice but people have a doubtful reaction to. Mental health drugs

try them for a decent amount of time and then evaluate

((hugs ))for you x

She is only 15 and still needs parenting, your views are valid. My views would be the same as yours, as would most of the professionals I have talked to about this sort of thing. I'd be leaving it solely up to DC when they were 18. In your dd's case it would depend on - what are the intrusive thoughts, what medication is being considered, what are alternatives with fewer side effects, what are the consultant's credientials, is it possible that it is the therapy or therapist at fault and can you get a 2nd and 3rd opinion? Medication for anxiety such as propanolol is really effective and doesn't have side effects. Most of the professionals I have talked to about this sort of thing are against medication if at all possible because of the side effects, effects on academic success, effects on motivation. Different therapeutic work might be a better solution.

What are the intrusive thoughts about? (if appropriate to share)