ASD son doesn’t stop talking about his special subject

Another one for trains here. It’s been about 4 years now too 😬

Now DS is a bit older (14) he’s figured out that I sometimes need to tune him out for my own sanity, so we have an arrangement where he can ramble on as much as he wants as long as he doesn’t expect much more than the occasional “hmm” or “uh huh” from me. Fortunately he’s quite self aware and doesn’t bore people at school, but that means he saves it all up for me when he gets home.

Other obsessions over the years have included bin lorries, the Titanic (I didn’t realise it was such a common one until this thread!), dams, bridges, foreign currencies, rollercoasters and vending machines (by far the most tedious but thankfully the most short lived).

30 year old autistic son who is totally into Disney theme parks. We can't afford to go again for several years but I keep getting updates on all the ride closures and reopening

I find this thread so heartwarming and wholesome. ❤

Haha, thanks for indulging me! I like a good bird flag, but it has to be a real bird not a fantasy one, so Kiribati (frigatebird), Dominica (Sisserou parrot) and Guatemala (quetzal). Less aesthetically pleasing but still okay are Papua New Guinea (Raggiana bird-of-paradise) and Uganda (grey crowned crane). Beyond the love for birds, I like that they are detailed and probably difficult to print traditionally (pre-digital printing), let alone sew back in the olden days (appreciate 2 of the top 3 are less than 50 years old).

Non-bird, I also like unnecessary but traditional details (Belarus, Kazachstan, Mongolia).

Worst flags... Not a fan of when they copy the neighbours - e.g. Arab states with any combo of white, green, red, black; West African states with yellow, green, red, black. Feels like 1 conqueror/empire told them all that they had to limit their imaginations, and they went for black for oil and yellow for ..sand? E.g. try memorising the differences in flags of Benin, Burkina Faso, Cameroon, Ghana, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Mali, Senegal, Togo. It doesn't say anything about their individual cultures.

Can you set him little projects he can do independently? Things like making a recipe book for different countries national dishes- you could then cook them together.

If you don't mind using screens, there is a website called Sporcle. It has quiz type things of every topic. There is one where you have a set amount of time to name as many countries on the world map as you can. Sounds like he'd love it.

I taught a lovely lad who's special subject was Brandon Flowers, life and music of.
The joy in my heart when the Ofsted inspector observing a Literacy lesson on biography asked this lad who he was writing about.

We had the Titanic too!

And trains, planes and now maps/flags.

What are your top five personal favourite flags, please? And your absolute worst (please do feel free to explain your thinking)

Oh I hear you. Geography Gauntlet I will beat anyone apart from my DC, particularly countries on the African continent. My DC is 18 now and it's still his favourite thing to do. It's really annoying at times but as he gets older it's a lovely thing to share

With my son I used to say, "right DS, please could you stop talking now for a bit. You've been talking for a while and my brain needs a rest." The good thing is that as he's autistic he doesn't get offended.

I think it's important to explain to them as it gradually teaches them more social skills for interactions with others.

From age 2 to 3 my son was obsessed with road signs. Everywhere we went, in the car, on the bus he would ask what every road sign was. We ended up buying a pack of theory test cards with all the signs on. He could have passed his theory test at 3. Drove me mad. He's now 4 and we have been on "tractors' and "farming equipment" for 2.5 years now and insects is still a firm favourite topic. He has been known to give long monologues about insects to kids at the park. I think he'd like to get into "tanks" but I'm ignoring that one. Also loves batteries.

I have this with my son but it's buses, from the moment he wakes to the moment he goes to bed all he ever speaks about is buses, it's hard to be enthusiastic about it all the time. Even weekends are spent going on his favourite buses. Can't mention it to other autistic parents though as they try to make you feel bad by saying theirs is non verbal so be grateful 🙄

Just humour him as best you can. It is so far preferable to so many other things people complain about their young DC doing. And try and find other friends/relatives who don't mind listening - grandparent? Aunt or Uncle? Someone who can be a bit of a mentor, ideally one who has travelled a bit. Maybe suggest associated tasks (Can you work out a land route around the world that doesn't go through Iran springs to mind.......)

Ds1 has a huge coin collection.

And CDs. Mostly from charity shops. He has become non verbal in adulthood, though, so we're spared any monologuing. He just has piles of Stuff!

Admittedly I've been forced to embrace it but I now really enjoy it and get so excited for him when we see special ones or steamers. I love how animated and knowledgeable he is about them. He doesn't half go on though 😆

I'm glad that both of mine are fascinated with buses, rather than trains, as they're much cheaper and more local! (and free now they have bus passes)

It's made for some nice days out. I can't go far with DS2 as I can't leave him unsupervised to us the loo, so our trips tend to be to different supermarkets in neighbouring towns to look for his favourite snacks there but I've been all over the North East and further afield with DS1 and we regularly visit rallies and preservation group open days. At least half of the visitors to some of those events are autistic so it's a comfortable environment for him.

Does he speak French? Or just wants to know what it would be in French? Intrigued!

Toilets & hand driers here. We were having a family chat earlier about holidays we had had, best/worst etc & all he could talk about was the toilets!

Also coins he finds on the ground.

And the most recent obsession is speaking French. He wants me to repeat everything I say in French. Luckily, I do speak it pretty well, but it is incredibly wearing & i often just say no.

Trains here also. And rainbows. But he's happy, and I've learnt to just half listen so I can crack on with other things. Eldest's is dungeons and dragons. I remember once getting a bus to town to get a couple of bits and have a potter with him when he was around 5... We were out for 4 hours and I didn't get a word in edge ways. I suggested he have a quiet play in his room for ten mins when he got home and luckily he was happy with that - I was KNACKERED. I sat in silence and just collapsed in relief. You're not alone, OP.

I see your countries and flags, and other people's Minecraft, coffins and military history, and I raise you Lego minifigure parts.

There are hundreds if not thousands of them and my DS seems to be able to speak knowledgeably to me about them all, interminably!

I give it 20 mins max each time and then say that I would like us to talk about something else for a bit...

Trains here. Fucking bastard trains- I have zero interest. Zero. It's painful.

Bladder infections is definitely the best on the thread!
I should count myself lucky with the computer game.

We've also had trains, Pokémon and ants.
This is making me wonder if he's actually ASD but I guess it's not exclusively an ASD thing. I vere between trying to show an interest and reminding him that conversation is a two way thing.

My DD wasn't diagnosed until recently so her pre teen years were before we knew. I would usually take an interest in whatever she was doing but I had to limit Minecraft 😂
I would offer DD my undivided attention for 20 minutes but then we had to talk about something else. She would look furious but it was better than nothing so would talk at me for 20 minutes then switch to something else 😄
She will be awesome at pub quizzes. Once she learns something she finds out everything about it and then remembers it...

As an adult who's had several special interests: I'm really, really good at pub quizzes, and holding in-depth conversations. My brain is still good at retaining detailed info. I was bored during covid so learnt flags and capitals. I get enjoyment out of sorting and categorising. Ranking them in personal favourite order. Arrange the animal flags taxonomically (birds, mammals), or in order of how endangered the species are.

Balancing interests vs other people is a learnt skill. I had to learn how to tell from someone's face when they're being polite but uninterested - and I learnt that much too late. My parents did not help me with that. PLEASE start teaching him asap to spot the signs of boredom. Reading people's faces is an art to us. I've become quite good but it is tiring (linked to masking).

YouTube or Reddit (when older) is a great outlet. The internet, uni, and potentially work are the best/only ways to meet fellow nerds. I wish I could have had those friends earlier in my life.