Being naked in front of DP/DH

"I do wonder if its different when you’ve grown older and gone through changes together. A lot of posts saying “he's seen me give birth/poo myself/helped with my piles” etc Maybe if any of you found yourselves single and had to start dating in your 40s or 50s maybe you’d understand how I feel?"

They might be in for a rude awakening, too. It's far from every man who considers a woman leaping about laughing and shaking her wobbly excess flesh to be attractive. Let alone a partner flatulating and defecating with abandon, or being asked to inspect an asshole.

That is bizarre, how have you managed that? Genuinely curious, I literally hate my stretch marks and a little chub (from a pregnancy prior to this marriage) when we are intimate he sees it, if he comes into the bathroom when I’m having a shower he sees it, if we have to get changed in the same room he sees it. I used to hide my stomach in the early days because I was fearful what he would think of my stretch marks, wobbly bits and a huge c-section scar but it’s impossible for him to not see it now this far in. Couldn’t hide it if I tried

I don't walk about naked as such but will wander about naked after shower getting dressed ect.

Where did I say "decency," @ItGhoul

Reading comprehension is a very useful skill.

I only wear clothes when we have visitors. I hate doing laundry so aint no way I’m wearing clothes for no reason. He doesn’t wear clothes either. We’re both certified nudists.

The sad part is that almost everyone who won’t be naked in front of their partner has cited self-hatred or criticism from others as the reason for that. It is absolutely saddening to think of women being so anxious and unhappy about themselves.

As for valuing ‘decency’ and ‘modesty’, what is ‘indecent’ or ‘immodest’ about walking from the bedroom to the bathroom naked in front of your own partner? I don’t get it.

There are people on here who won’t have sex unless their body hidden from their partner. Do you think it’s indecent or immodest for a man to catch a glimpse of the naked body of a woman they’re putting their penis into?

Nobody is suggesting that privacy isn’t important. I want privacy to go to the loo or change a tampon, sure. But when partner has literally had his face between my legs on a very regular basis for the past 20 years, I really can’t see how it would be an invasion of my privacy for him to see me starkers on the way out of the shower.

That’s up to you. My issue is that you were telling other women that their men also hate their bodies and projecting your own issues on to everyone else.

I’m sorry your experience has, for some reason, been solely with men who criticise your body. It’s clearly affected you negatively. But don’t state to other women that this is a universal norm, because it isn’t. It’s extremely unusual.

@AnAltogetherDifferentSortOfThing

it wasn't just one an or two men or a few arseholes. But all of them.
I'm so sorry. That's horrible. I'm
Not surprised you are burdened by this experience. Fortunately for me I've never had this in words or actions.

I think they must be pretty low if you’re with a partner you believe will recoil in horror at your naked body.

“Walking around” naked in our house consists of about 5 mins max of nakedness in the morning because it’s too cold to be naked for much longer in the UK! We’re definitely comfortable with nudity in our household but we aren’t just hanging about freezing cold when we could be wearing clothes and be much warmer. We also don’t sit on furniture with bare arses for the sake of hygiene. It’s really only nipping about when getting dressed.

I think the hardest thing for me is that I was of exactly the same opinion as those who don't care at one point.

I knew I wasn't perfect but I didn't really care. I thought i had a nice figure and I believed that confidence was attractive, I believed no man would be scrutinising me that much and I believed that if someome found me attractive, they wouldn't care. It was a slow dawning realisation over several years that I was quite wrong and that it wasn't just one an or two men or a few arseholes. But all of them.

It's not my own insecurities that have led me to where I am now (at one point, I was quite happy to wander around naked, dance naked, shower in front of someone) but a realisation that every single one of those men had a comment, an opinion, an observation, a suggestion, a criticism or some unsolicited advice changed it.

I'm still quite happy to walk around naked when I'm on my own. I like the feeling of being naked. I don't like the feeling of being scrutinised and found to be lacking.

I'm in my early 50s now and I still like what I see in the mirror. I'm a size 10/12 and i don't feel like time has been too hard on me. I like my figure but there's no way I'm putting myself in a position where a man can criticise me again.

I must admit, I find the idea of walking around naked all the time in your house - in front of your partner (like not even for a few minutes before or after a shower, but just regularly being butt naked) rather odd.

And it's REALLY odd (IMO,) to be walking around the house butt naked, in front of your children. I mean, the posters who claim to do this, do your husbands walk around naked too? REALLY?! I don't get this. I have never known anyone do this in real life.

My husband and I started as friends with benefits with no intentions of dating and one of the nice things I noticed was that I wasn’t constantly sucking in my tummy or making sure I was leaning back a bit if I was sat around naked. I didn’t expect him to last long so I wasn’t so bothered about his opinion! Weirdly made for a more open and trusting relationship than the ones I’ve had that started with proper dating and the emphasis on getting all dolled up for a date

Same

I don't mind being naked around dh - in the bedroom or bathroom.

In fact we are away at the moment and I didn't bring a dressing gown so I've been wandering about naked more than usual.

Dc aren't here tho! I wouldn't do that in front of them.

@Wiseoldself2022 @TalkingAboutaWolf
i kind of assuming you live under a bridge but I’ll bite.

I don’t wander round naked all the time, cooking tea naked etc. DH doesn’t helicopter his cock while naked either, it just dangles there! He’d never be naked in front of them if he had an erection as that would clearly be inappropriate - but if it’s just hanging there there’s no problem…. DS has a penis too after all!

But yes, no problem being naked in front of DC. Walking to bathroom, getting dressed etc. Nothing to be ashamed of with nudity in a safe environment.

absolutely not child abuse in and of itself (clearly there may be cases where there is abuse, but it’s certainly not a given).

Yeah. I saw my own mum naked and my son has seen me naked. It's got absolutely nothing to do with acting like a bitch in heat. You may be unable to look at another naked body without sexualising it or feeling repulsion, but that says a lot more about you than anyone else.

To me the saddest aspect of this thread are the number of women firstly admitting that they find their own bodies disgusting and that they have been harshly criticised by some man and so they don't like looking at their own body let alone let a man see it. And then they go on determined to paint their unwillingness to be naked as some sort of demonstration of their decency/living to a higher standard.

And they can't see the cognitive dissonance in their statements.

Nudity is not disgusting. Feeling relaxed about it is not pornographic. People who are relaxed around their partner are not being crude or constantly on heat. Most people who are relaxed are literally just that. Relaxed. Getting dressed and on with their day not really thinking about it as it's a non issue

@BettyBardMacDonald

Some people have standards of what?

Scurrying away in fear and disgust and hiding themselves from their partner is just weird and very very mentally unhealthy

@TalkingAboutaWolf
Vom? Gross? Child Abuse?

Wow. You really have strong negative feelings around nudity.

I don't think most posters are spending the whole day naked running their genitalia on furniture. Who knows? Maybe some are. I think most people are talking about just being comfortable naked. When I get out of the shower I dry off then walk calmly with no thought or hysteria or panicked covering up to my bedroom from my en-suite and find what I'm going to wear. Then I get dressed. There is no drama. DH may or may not be in the room. No eyelids are being batted.

If when they were younger, my dc came in there was still no drama

I don't understand the hysteria

My dc are adults now but when they were teens everyone just behaved respectfully. We didn't just walk into each other's rooms. We knocked. But if someone accidentally barged in, there was again NO DRAMA. 😂. Just rolling of the eyes.

There seems to be a lot of fussing and hysterical covering up and shrieks of child abuse going on. Not hinged behaviour at all

Yea, I also don't understand this. In front of kids? What do people mean by 'naked' - like totally absolutely naked, tits&bits out in front of the kids or in a tshirt and pants, say? Because if it's the former, then that's absolutely disgusting, vom.

I can't imagine my dad with his dick helicoptering about on a normal day at home or mum cooking tea stark bollock naked. I don't want to see my parents naked (and THANK GOD! never did). That's gross. I'd fully consider that child abuse. Just why? I don't see anything 'normal' about it al all. Show your minge to your partner, not your son and daughter.

Is it - supposedly - 'comfy'? So - say - a long lose sleeping tshirt and pants/loose shorts underneath is so EXTREMELY uncomfy?

As for partner, I'm ok with him seeing me naked, I'm perfectly happy with my body, no hang-ups. Willowy slim, tall, long-legged hourglass, toned, no stretch marks or cellulite. Sex in daytime or lights on - fine, no problem. But I still don't prance about naked just because, not because of my body/shame/dignity/whatever, I just find it yuk and uncomfortable. So if I want to sit down, I sit with my naked ass on a sofa/chair and that's like totally normal? And then my DD sits on the same later? It's odd (and disgusting) to me. I'm not a bitch in heat to be with my ass out all the time.

Significant Others

I'm not a fan of being naked but I am completely comfortable if I am in front of DH. I certainly don't parade around, but I don't hide if I'm in the shower or getting dressed. My body is far from perfect and I have been a variety of sizes but he's never made me feel uncomfortable, he's usually quite happy as long as he's seen a boob 😂

In front of DC??? 😳