Being naked in front of DP/DH

I agree that upbringing might play a part, lots of sisters but my parents or family weren’t ever naked around us so we haven’t been either, private parts are private and the most they see is us in a swimming costume. Bath time or shower time (and toilet time) for adults is definitely private, as a SAHM it was my only 10 mins peace sometimes so sacred and not to be interrupted! The girls are obviously comfortable being naked though as children but if their Dad suddenly started walking round starkers now they would be shocked! I didn’t realise this was a controversial setup until I read all the comments on here

I don’t walk round naked when I’m home alone so wouldn’t do it in front of anyone

I was UK born but brought up in France due to dad’s job. It was quite common in loos for women to walk past urinals with a number of men standing together, having a wee to get the ladies’ cubicles and, for some reason, a pay phone (pre mobile days).

There are fewer such setups in France today, but they are still there, including some older bars and restaurants. Attitudes are more relaxed.

I couldn’t care less who sees me naked. I think a lot of the issues cited here depends on upbringing. I was one of 2 sisters with mum and dad. Mum (now passed away) used to go topless at the beach. She taught us that there was nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about bodies beware of bad people.

Totally normal. DH & I are naked in front of each other on the daily. I'm 7 months postpartum & exclusively BF at with moment with all stretchmarks and wobbly bits that go with it but it would never occur to me to cover up.

Hm. It does when you take it to the extreme of locking children out of the bathroom in case they dare try and come in for a friendly chat.

It makes me realise how lucky I was brought up to be relaxed about this kind of thing when I read stuff like this. My mum never once made me feel like there was any reason to be embarrassed or ashamed of my body - she saved me a lot of potential anguish.

Wanting to use the bathroom in private has zero to do with shame.

We don't all share your shame. It's unfortunate that you find yourself so disgusting, but that's not something you should be encouraging others to feel.

Teach them about privacy and respect for others, not to mention resilience and self-sufficiency, by locking the bathroom door ffs. Do they have zero consideration and impulse control??

If my kids are so traumatised by seeing my naked body then why on earth can I not get a minutes peace to myself in the bath?? One or the other is always coming in or out or sitting on the loo for a chat.

While I agree with the essence of what you are saying, I feel I must point out the error in your assumption that men and boys see each other's dicks in public loos.

It doesn’t happen.

I agree.

I find people who feel "traumatised" by seeing naked bodies are those who have been made to feel that their bodies are shameful. People with healthy senses of self and healthy mental views on bodies just see a naked body as a naked boy - nothing to comment on, nothing to concern themselves with.

I grew up with naked parents and I'm certainly not traumatised. My children are growing up in a similar environment. I don't force my nudity on them, but they'll happily chat to me when I'm in the shower or bath, or wander in to our bedroom whilst we're changing etc.

*I'm obviously talking about appropriate nudity e.g in communal changing rooms where people are simply just getting changed, a child walking in to a bathroom whilst a parent showers or changes etc.

Me and dp ages 37 and 41 been together 8 and a half years we still walk about naked in front of each other without concern

Most people are not even remotely traumatised by seeing a parent naked as young kids.

I wouldn’t care if I saw my mother naked now, and I’m 49. I certainly didn’t care when I was a little kid! I used to go and chat to her while she was having a bath when I was a kid.

Given that men and boys literally whip their dicks out to piss next to complete strangers in public loos, and strip naked in changing rooms when they play team sports etc, I doubt any lad is going to be traumatised by seeing his own dad’s nob.

I find some of the comments on here really sad. Yes it would be lovely if you felt happy and comfortable enough around your partner to skip around totally nude. But you aren't doing something wrong if you aren't, forcing your self to do something that makes you uncomfortable because other people think it is normal is not OK.
I guess my question would you feel the same alone or around other people/previous partners? As I wouldn't want to be naked around someone who had criticised me either, whereas if I was totally comfortable and felt safe and appreciated I imagine I could get used to it. So if the way he makes you feel is causing it then this is on him. Not you!
But equally it's OK to tell him this is just who you are and doesn't reflect on your relationship with him.

Christ I could've written this. My partner would love me to put on weight but I couldn't bear it. I'm a size 4 currently and around 46kg. It's too big in my head but I'm managing that.

I still walk around naked constantly

I certainly do not live under a bridge and you can explain yourself till the cows come home, but I stand by my view - being stark naked in front of the DC is weird and traumatising for them. Those bits are called private parts for a reason!

Oh I think they do. They know exactly what impact it will have. It’ll keep us broken and small and compliant.

Is he not Neuro typical? Or does he have maybe additional needs/ I’m assuming there is a back story here if you feel he doesn’t mean to be insulting,, as obviously for anyone without additional needs or nt, then yes that’s the intent.

or is there a part of you that wishes to believe he’s not being insulting so you can continue to stay with him and take it?

I've lost 3 stone but still obese. Never bothered me. He just focuses on my boobs I think. Men are fairly simple beasts.

I’m completely comfortable being naked in front of DH as is he in front of me, and over 40 yrs together. However I’ve always taken care of my body with a balanced diet, I’m slim, well toned from regular exercise and my skin is good from years of moisturising and protecting it from the sun. I’m not sure how I would feel if I was overweight tbh.
My DH hasn’t taken the same care of himself but I love every single swishy bit of him, his size is irrelevant. We both sleep naked, he’s lovely to snuggle up to and I wouldn’t want him any other way 🥰
I would think there’s a lot of men out there equally as happy with their DW/DP squishy bits ❤️ and would love there partners to be less shy about their bodies.

It's not too late to leave him.
It's not normal. His porn interests are disgusting and not at all a reflection of something missing in your or wrong with you.
That counsellor was shit and completely failed you.

For the ones who have had partners make negative comments, I'm seriously starting to believe that the shame you feel and the hiding is your body literally trying to scream out to you that these men are not safe partners and for some reason you interpret that message as there is something wrong with you or your body, and thus you are not attractive enough.

You are betraying yourselves for men that are not worth that much.
I would rather not have a man than have one who makes me feel anything less than beautiful.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you are all beautiful and your bodies should be worshiped by the men in your lives. I truly hope you can see that one day and realise you deserve so much better.