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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being naked in front of DP/DH

465 replies

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 15:12

Are you comfortable being visibly naked in front of your partner? Would you be ok with the lights on/daylight etc and walk around with nothing on?

Or would you have a towel/underwear/a sheet over you?

i’m not bothered about my wobbly bits on a daily basis, and felt just the same way when I was several stone lighter, so I don’t see it as a body image thing as such, I juat wouldn’t walk around naked in front of him. He thinks this says something fundamental about our relationship.

YABU - I think its normal to feel 100% at ease walking about naked in front of my DP/DH

YANBU - I’d rather keep some things undercover and feel self conscious naked standing up and walking about the bedroom/house.

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 17/02/2025 17:45

NotAlwaysasitSeems · 17/02/2025 16:13

What does SO, stand for? Usually know most abbreviations on here, but cannot work this one out 😂

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Significant other

Gwenhwyfar · 17/02/2025 17:43

Dotjones · 17/02/2025 15:27

It's normal to walk round naked in front of your partner but you're entitled to feel how you feel. Your partner is right that it says something about your relationship, it sends the message that you don't trust him and that you don't believe his attraction to you is genuine.

Oh dear.
Those of us who don't walk around naked when alone then? Do we not trust ourselves?

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 17/02/2025 17:43

Yabu - unless it's too cold!

NotAlwaysasitSeems · 17/02/2025 17:40

cartreffi · 17/02/2025 17:36

I struggle with my body image a bit and like a lot of you, hate my stomach. However I feel comfortable walking around naked in front of my DP and my two DD's (15 and 11), I hope that brushes off on my DD!s as I would like them to be comfortable in their own skin. They are certainly comfortable being in my presence when I'm naked (chatting to me while I'm in the shower for example)

You know what I'm fine with my stomach lying flat on my back, or standing upright with underwear on, it's bending down naked when I get embarrassed of the lower part. I'm really slim and it's flat, but looks awful post kids when I bend down. I need to tone it up, to see if this helps. Bodies are always worse when you bend down naked I think, unless you're young with no kids!

Userengage · 17/02/2025 17:40

I do walk around naked, go downstairs to make tea in the morning, come out the shower and stay naked whilst my HRT dries on my thighs, lights on for sex however, I can see why others may not be comfortable. Especially if there has been a derogatory comment previously from their DP.

WessexPrincess · 17/02/2025 17:40

100% comfortable, we sleep naked, often walk round the house naked, when the kids aren't in. I'm about 3 stone heavier than when we 1st met, but he's never commented on it or made me feel anything other than totally desired to the point I often get a surprise when I see the fat woman in the mirror 🤣

LaurieFairyCake · 17/02/2025 17:38

I've never minded with more weight or less weight

How I feel about myself is not tied to my perfectly normal healthy body. I'm just grateful I'm not unwell or dead (like some of my contemporaries)

TheOpalReader · 17/02/2025 17:36

I don't mind walking around naked for a reason e.g. from the bathroom to bedroom. Or him seeing me get dressed, lights on during sex. But I'm not a walk around naked sort of person anyway regardless of who's around. I hate bits stuck to bits and I'm always cold.

cartreffi · 17/02/2025 17:36

I struggle with my body image a bit and like a lot of you, hate my stomach. However I feel comfortable walking around naked in front of my DP and my two DD's (15 and 11), I hope that brushes off on my DD!s as I would like them to be comfortable in their own skin. They are certainly comfortable being in my presence when I'm naked (chatting to me while I'm in the shower for example)

NotAlwaysasitSeems · 17/02/2025 17:36

beAsensible1 · 17/02/2025 17:33

no problem walking around naked in front of DP. we both do, constantly. Clothes don't hide what we look like and i thinks it important to love ourselves and each other completely including our wobbly bits.

Would hate for him to think he had to cover himself up from me and I actively make sure to affirm parts that he might be moaning about that week especially!

I don't think my body is perfect and I can definitely be over critical but its mine and sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.

I actually think clothes can hide a multitude of sins 😂

beAsensible1 · 17/02/2025 17:33

no problem walking around naked in front of DP. we both do, constantly. Clothes don't hide what we look like and i thinks it important to love ourselves and each other completely including our wobbly bits.

Would hate for him to think he had to cover himself up from me and I actively make sure to affirm parts that he might be moaning about that week especially!

I don't think my body is perfect and I can definitely be over critical but its mine and sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.

CraneBeak · 17/02/2025 17:33

I don't mind, but also I don't see my body primarily through the lense of male pleasure and sexual attraction, even my own DP's. I'm happy that he likes my body, but I don't walk this earth to please him, so whether or not I would be attractive doesn't factor into my decision when getting changed.

NotAlwaysasitSeems · 17/02/2025 17:32

VickyEadieofThigh · 17/02/2025 17:13

I've never been comfortable walking around naked when I'm in the house BY MYSELF!

I'm not, but that's because of the time I ran downstairs in my bra and knickers (thankfully at least had those on), and Amazon had let them self in the backgarden and shouted: "It's alright love, I'll just leave it on the step!" 😮

Sherararara · 17/02/2025 17:32

We’re totally at ease with it, sleep together naked, walk around naked to from the bathroom for eg. Even in front of the kids sometimes gosh, shock!
Sometimes we even have sex naked with the lights on!

CrowsInMyGarden · 17/02/2025 17:30

ExtraOnions · 17/02/2025 15:18

I walk about with no clothes on … and I’m a fatty, lot heavier than when we got married, his body has changed to, just part of getting older. We love each other though, and a bit of fat, or a baldy head won’t change that

Just thought I'd say that this is lovely

Saggyknickers · 17/02/2025 17:28

Christ OP I've just read your other posts.

He sounds like a right twat - not surprised you're feeling self conscious. He may try to dress his nasty comments up as being "helpful but they're really not".
He knows exactly what he's doing - negging you to damage your confidence and look - it's working. He's probably deeply insecure and worried you'll leave him.

GoldMoon · 17/02/2025 17:27

I don't walk about naked , but happy to ask dh to look at any body part of need be.
Can't sleep naked either as I worry about weird things like something crawling over me or needing medical help and not be able to move .
Dh has no qualms , would answer door in his pants or take something to the bin in the back garden if I didn't tell him off .

BookishType · 17/02/2025 17:25

I was always a complete exhibitionist until I gained about 3 stone in recent years. I stopped stripping off in front of my husband and felt self-conscious if he was in the bathroom when I was in the shower or the bath. I secretly thought he’d be looking at me thinking ‘what the heck?’, which is how I felt about myself. I’d like to have been the type that didn’t care that I had become somewhat Rubenesque, but I felt embarrassed.

I have recently lost all that weight and more (thanks Mounjaro) and I’m back to confidently walking around naked in front of him.

Saggyknickers · 17/02/2025 17:24

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 17/02/2025 16:59

I walk around naked all the time and cannot think of the last time I had a bath without someone wanting to tell me something.
My body is amazing. I am nearly 50, had two kids, got one inverted nipple (so I look like I'm winking), stretch marks, those weird bumps on the tops of my arms, hairy legs but hardly any pubes, my arse wobbles and my tits look like used tea bags.
My body is amazing. It gets me here everyday. Be proud.

🤣🤣🤣 LOVE IT!!!

NotAlwaysasitSeems · 17/02/2025 17:23

Archive · 17/02/2025 16:17

I used to happily walk around naked with him around. He, however, decided to call me fat during an argument a few months ago so that has very much changed. I know he regrets it but he can never take that back & I can never kid myself about how he seems me again - my hatred of my body is made worse by being heavily pregnant and I’m dreading him seeing me giving birth 😔

I'm really sorry you had to experience that. You're not fat, you're carrying a baby, his child. Even if you weren't pregnant, that comment is disgusting. I would make it clear to him if any more comments like that, he won't be welcome in the delivery room, until after baby is born. No excuse at all for that. 💐

Saggyknickers · 17/02/2025 17:21

I walk around naked sometimes bc I know dh loves it and loves seeing my body. I wouldn't say I'm comfortable though but that's my problem and I don't want to be like the poster who's partner has never seen her naked since 1987! That's just sad.

sweetpickle2 · 17/02/2025 17:19

WhereAreWeNow · 17/02/2025 17:12

I'm really envious of all of you who are so at ease in your bodies. I know on a logical level that my body is fine. I'm slim and healthy. But I feel so ashamed of my body. It's got worse as I've got older. I hate being undressed around DP. I know it's not healthy but I don't know how to change it.

Don't get me wrong I don't love myself every day, but I also know that a body is just a body- and hiding it away and avoiding mirrors and telling myself it's disgusting is not going to make me feel any better about it.

I know that people being naked in gym changing rooms is a bit divisive on Mumsnet, but honestly it's one of the biggest reasons I've been able to change how I feel about my own naked body. Seeing other naked bodies is such a great leveller and makes you realise that we all basically have the same bits- everyone's got cellulite, everyone wobbles (even thin people)!

I'm no nudist but if I'm having sex with someone, there's little point in worrying about them seeing me naked- by that point, that horse has bolted. And in my experience, if we're talking about men, they're all just excited to be seeing a naked woman. They're not being critical about all the bits you're critical about (unless they're a dickhead, of course, in which case they shouldn't get to see you naked anyway).

EnterFunnyNameHere · 17/02/2025 17:18

I'm not one for walking around naked anyway, as I like having the curtains open 😁 But there's not really many times i would be fine being naked but not with my DH being able to see me - as in, if I was naked after a shower/getting changed it wouldn't bother me at all for him to be there.

theleafandnotthetree · 17/02/2025 17:16

Archive · 17/02/2025 16:17

I used to happily walk around naked with him around. He, however, decided to call me fat during an argument a few months ago so that has very much changed. I know he regrets it but he can never take that back & I can never kid myself about how he seems me again - my hatred of my body is made worse by being heavily pregnant and I’m dreading him seeing me giving birth 😔

He doesn't have to see you giving birth, if I had my time over I'd not have had my then husband there. Privately, a good few men I know have admitted they would as soon as not have been in the room. For pretty much all of human history, and still in much of the world, men wouldn't have been present. Your comfort and ease are THE most important thing, doesn't have to be a big row just a clear statement of how you wish it to be.

Newposter180 · 17/02/2025 17:16

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 16:39

I’m so sorry, thats awful of him. It is hard to let something like that go tbh. My DP has said things in the past about my weight, always dressing it up as concern for my health etc but “its just a fact, you are overweight and you have a higher chance of xyz, its not a judgment, just data shows etc” Its very hard to unhear that stuff, even when said in an argument, so I do feel for you. I don’t know how you get past feeling like that.

I think I’m more sensitive to it with this DP than previous ones a) because he’s so skinny and b) because it wasn’t his babies that made me look like this!

With XH I was really ok because I figured he’d seen me grow these babies in my body so he couldn’t be surprised by the toll they took on my shape.

My next DP had his own weight issues so he would never have pointed it out.

Current DP feels very offended when I say I didn’t feel so self conscious in front if exes, as he insists it isn’t him mentioning it thats upsetting me, its internal, so it must be how I’ve always felt about myself.

I guess its a bit of both, but the worst thing is him insisting I must be lying when I say they didn’t make me feel like there’s something wrong with me, because <gestures at my body> obviously they could see what I look like.

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To use an old favourite: sounds like you would do well to shed 10 stone in the form of your partner…

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