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Original poster

Being naked in front of DP/DH

465 replies

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 15:12

Are you comfortable being visibly naked in front of your partner? Would you be ok with the lights on/daylight etc and walk around with nothing on?

Or would you have a towel/underwear/a sheet over you?

i’m not bothered about my wobbly bits on a daily basis, and felt just the same way when I was several stone lighter, so I don’t see it as a body image thing as such, I juat wouldn’t walk around naked in front of him. He thinks this says something fundamental about our relationship.

YABU - I think its normal to feel 100% at ease walking about naked in front of my DP/DH

YANBU - I’d rather keep some things undercover and feel self conscious naked standing up and walking about the bedroom/house.

OP posts:
GroovyChick87 · 17/02/2025 18:56

I do walk around naked in front of him, yes. I think my body is sexy as does my DH even though it's got flaws. I've had 4 children so it's never going to be perfect and I've made my peace with that. We have a lot of sex and we're open with day to day nudity. I have no issue with him coming into the bathroom while I'm in the bath and I'll get changed in front of him. He makes sure I know he likes what he sees.

NovemberMorn · 17/02/2025 18:55

Bleachbum · 17/02/2025 18:51

We’re a naked family. And we come from naked families. I don’t care if my kids or DH see me naked and will walk from one room to another in the buff whilst getting ready in the morning or evening. My parents were the same, as were my in-laws apparently when my DH was growing up.

That said, I am luckily more or less the same size as when my DH met me over 25 years ago. If my body had changed a lot I might feel differently.

My body has definitely changed, I was young and gorgeous and now I am not.
Husband still thinks I am though, so that's probably why I still strut my stuff.

Bleachbum · 17/02/2025 18:51

We’re a naked family. And we come from naked families. I don’t care if my kids or DH see me naked and will walk from one room to another in the buff whilst getting ready in the morning or evening. My parents were the same, as were my in-laws apparently when my DH was growing up.

That said, I am luckily more or less the same size as when my DH met me over 25 years ago. If my body had changed a lot I might feel differently.

Bugbabe1970 · 17/02/2025 18:51

Dotjones · 17/02/2025 15:27

It's normal to walk round naked in front of your partner but you're entitled to feel how you feel. Your partner is right that it says something about your relationship, it sends the message that you don't trust him and that you don't believe his attraction to you is genuine.

What a load of rubbish
I never have or never will walk around d completely naked in front my DH of over 30 years - just knickers on yes but not completely naked - it’s just a preference and has absolutely nothing to do with the relationship

henlake7 · 17/02/2025 18:49

I think if you are happy being naked alone but not in front of your partner then that probably says something.

If you aren't happy being naked alone either then you just aren't a naturally naked person and it means nothing.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 18:42

BIossomtoes · 17/02/2025 18:39

Good luck with finding a nurse, let alone one prepared to clean you up when your partner is perfectly capable of doing it.

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Aimable shower head it is, then!

BIossomtoes · 17/02/2025 18:39

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 18:34

Definitely - that would not have been for me! I'd have bent my knees and aimed the shower head there, or asked a nurse for help!

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Good luck with finding a nurse, let alone one prepared to clean you up when your partner is perfectly capable of doing it.

CaptainBeanThief · 17/02/2025 18:39

I'm very overweight - put a lot of weight on in our marriage, due to appetite increase, medication, tough times etc, I do walk around naked occasionally, he does see me naked we have sex naked etc. im losing the weight now me and my consultants have identified the culprit medication(s).
I can't be covered up 24/7.
I am self conscious of how my body looks but my husband and mum cared for me when I came out of ICU twice - he even packed my leg wound when I had NF in my groin.
If anything it's him that doesn't walk around naked and he's slim and healthy.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 17/02/2025 18:36

Archive · 17/02/2025 16:17

I used to happily walk around naked with him around. He, however, decided to call me fat during an argument a few months ago so that has very much changed. I know he regrets it but he can never take that back & I can never kid myself about how he seems me again - my hatred of my body is made worse by being heavily pregnant and I’m dreading him seeing me giving birth 😔

You have the right to choose an alternative birth partner, one who yiu know will support you unreservedly

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 18:34

Newfoundzestforlife · 17/02/2025 17:58

We're all different, some of us like to keep our dignity despite the circumstances...

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Definitely - that would not have been for me! I'd have bent my knees and aimed the shower head there, or asked a nurse for help!

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 17/02/2025 18:33

NotAlwaysasitSeems · 17/02/2025 16:13

What does SO, stand for? Usually know most abbreviations on here, but cannot work this one out 😂

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Significant other I guess

NovemberMorn · 17/02/2025 18:31

DollydaydreamTheThird · 17/02/2025 18:23

What a load of garbage. Lots of people have bodily hang ups and it doesn't mean they don't trust their partners. It's more a reflection of how they feel about themselves. It's got bugger all to do with the partner (unless they are abusive or nasty about her appearance).

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Agreed....my way may not be your way, there is no right or wrong.

What would be wrong is if someone made you feel uncomfortable or self-conscious because of the way they saw you.
Who would want to give them the opportunity to put you down, I wouldn't.

Sadcafe · 17/02/2025 18:27

People should do whatever they feel comfortable doing. I’ve seen every bit of DWs body, she’s seen every bit of mine, neither of us have the bodies we did but we aren’t bothered about walking round naked

Togglebullets · 17/02/2025 18:23

beAsensible1 · 17/02/2025 18:18

your body can change without you putting on weight.

So?? You'd really comment constantly, unsolicited, on the ways in which your partner's body had changed? Even knowing that it was making them feel shit? What gives you the right?

DollydaydreamTheThird · 17/02/2025 18:23

Dotjones · 17/02/2025 15:27

It's normal to walk round naked in front of your partner but you're entitled to feel how you feel. Your partner is right that it says something about your relationship, it sends the message that you don't trust him and that you don't believe his attraction to you is genuine.

What a load of garbage. Lots of people have bodily hang ups and it doesn't mean they don't trust their partners. It's more a reflection of how they feel about themselves. It's got bugger all to do with the partner (unless they are abusive or nasty about her appearance).

ThisFluentBiscuit · 17/02/2025 18:23

I never walked around naked in front of my exH. I've never walked around completely naked in front of anyone. I think I look more attractive with at least something on, even if it's a pair of sexy knickers. We also wouldn't have dreamed of going to the loo in front of each other. I know some people let it all hang out in front of each other, but that wasn't us.

I also don't think anyone should be judging anyone else for not wanting to walk around completely naked in front of someone, no matter who they are. It should only happen if the person enthusiastically consents.

Hazylazydays · 17/02/2025 18:22

Dotjones · 17/02/2025 15:27

It's normal to walk round naked in front of your partner but you're entitled to feel how you feel. Your partner is right that it says something about your relationship, it sends the message that you don't trust him and that you don't believe his attraction to you is genuine.

That’s ridiculous, it says no such thing, it simply says I’m a bit self conscious of my body and I’m more comfortable covering the wobbly bits. Nothing whatsoever to do with ‘don’t trust him’ that’s typical mumsnet rubbish.

NameChangedForThis1985 · 17/02/2025 18:20

Half the internet has seen me partially clothed (I used to be a glamour model - never naked/topless though) so can't say it bothers me at all. Currently single but always had no problem walking around in front of others (DP, mum, friends on holiday....)

beAsensible1 · 17/02/2025 18:18

your body can change without you putting on weight.

bifurCAT · 17/02/2025 18:18

No.

I'm OK during sex, but I really have to be in the mood. Or if I'm pressed against their body, I feel they can't see me (like in the shower), but I don't just 'strut'.

Pottedpalm · 17/02/2025 18:17

Dotjones · 17/02/2025 15:27

It's normal to walk round naked in front of your partner but you're entitled to feel how you feel. Your partner is right that it says something about your relationship, it sends the message that you don't trust him and that you don't believe his attraction to you is genuine.

Such bollocks

Saggyknickers · 17/02/2025 18:16

SnowflakeSmasher86

I feel like a lot of posters haven't read all of your posts and there isn't enough outrage at how he speaks to you!

My dh of 20+ years has never said one negative thing about my weight and I have fluctuated from a size 10 to a 16 whilst we've been together and bore 4 children.

He only ever bigs me up and tells me I'm beautiful.

You mentioned your dp is skinny and I wonder if he has issues surrounding weight etc that he's projecting onto you. He is upsetting you and then gaslighting you and telling you you're wrong when you point out how his comments make you feel.

Its definitely not ok, you need to listen carefully to how he is making you feel and ask yourself whether it is worth being in a relationship with someone who is making you feel self conscious and shit. I'd never accept any man making negative comments about my weight personally.

Togglebullets · 17/02/2025 18:15

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 18:09

See this is how I felt previously - at age 50 I’d come to feel acceptance that my body is amazing, its done amazing things for me, its battled on through childbirth, chronic illness/autoimmune disease, depression and has brought me so much joy and pleasure - including mindblowing sex with several men! - and now I’m feeling like he sees me as something ‘other’. That i’m in a box with “the other overweight people” and need him to tiptoe around me in case I get triggered because of my huuuuge body! I just don’t see myself like that and i’ve never felt like other partners have ‘seen’ me like that, but he takes that literally as in “but look! How could they not see?!”

Please don't let him do this to you. It makes me so sad to see someone who clearly has confidence in herself being taken apart by some inadequate man. HE is the problem not you.

ItGhoul · 17/02/2025 18:13

WhereAreWeNow · 17/02/2025 17:12

I'm really envious of all of you who are so at ease in your bodies. I know on a logical level that my body is fine. I'm slim and healthy. But I feel so ashamed of my body. It's got worse as I've got older. I hate being undressed around DP. I know it's not healthy but I don't know how to change it.

The thing is, though, I am not at ease with my own body at all. I don’t like the way I look naked at all. I hate seeing myself naked in the mirror. I won’t be seen on a beach in swimwear.

But I don’t mind my DP seeing me naked, because he’s my DP. I change in front of him, shower in front of him, walk around the bedroom and to and from the bathroom naked, do my makeup and dry my hair naked before I get dressed etc. I also sleep naked.

In a sexual context I have zero concern for what my body looks like. I never have. I’m too busy enjoying it and it’s always clear that my DP likes looking at me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 18:11

beAsensible1 · 17/02/2025 18:00

I even think its unrealistic to expect your partner not to comment on your weight. of course they notice as long as they're not being mean i would hope for honesty if asked. I don't associate being fat or putting on weight with being unattractive. it's just a change.

I notice if my partners body changes, if asked i'd comment or if i were worried or had an issue i'd bring it up. the same if he had BO or ear hairs.

But
a) I didn’t fucking ask!!
b) I own a mirror, and several pairs of trousers so would know if I’d put on weight and
c) i literally used the phrase “my body is an instrument not an ornament. I don’t have an instagram body, I’m plus sized and if you’re not ok with that, swipe on!”

I was this size when we met 2 years ago.

OP posts: