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AIBU?

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Original poster

Being naked in front of DP/DH

465 replies

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 15:12

Are you comfortable being visibly naked in front of your partner? Would you be ok with the lights on/daylight etc and walk around with nothing on?

Or would you have a towel/underwear/a sheet over you?

i’m not bothered about my wobbly bits on a daily basis, and felt just the same way when I was several stone lighter, so I don’t see it as a body image thing as such, I juat wouldn’t walk around naked in front of him. He thinks this says something fundamental about our relationship.

YABU - I think its normal to feel 100% at ease walking about naked in front of my DP/DH

YANBU - I’d rather keep some things undercover and feel self conscious naked standing up and walking about the bedroom/house.

OP posts:
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MaryGreenhill · 08/09/2025 10:12

Don't care at all if my DH & my Dds see me in the nuddy .

cherryjam2 · 06/09/2025 22:54

My husband hasn’t seen me fully naked for about 14 years! I wouldn’t ever be naked in front of anyone. He’s happy to walk round naked in front of me though!

THEDEACON · 05/08/2025 11:57

Very comfortable being naked around my partner as is he we are 60 and 80 and been together 18years

Daftypants · 21/02/2025 14:33

I don’t mind if I’m seen by DH in / out the shower , or if I’m getting dressed .
But wouldn’t walk around the house like that 😂 or parade around .
I don't hide away but don’t flaunt either .

crankytoes · 20/02/2025 22:56

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/02/2025 12:53

You can't get a minute's peace in the bath because you haven't trained them about privacy and respecting a closed door.

This is going to burst your gasket, I used to enjoy bubble baths with my dd when she was little. She fondly remembers them. The tiaras and bath bombs and bath toys

StarlightLady · 20/02/2025 19:47

ItsAWonderfulLifeforMe · 20/02/2025 18:57

Yes agreed, when we’re talking about children seeing you naked a lot of the posts above are referring to older children (and some posts here refer to teenagers and young adults). I think we’ve all had to shower / bath / wee with a baby or young toddler present at some time to ensure their safety and often there literally is no option but it’s very different when talking about an older child seeing their parents naked when they fully comprehend the situation and this is optional / avoidable rather than necessity

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I saw my parents and sister naked up until the time l left home. It didn’t scar me for life. It was never a problem at home.

ItsAWonderfulLifeforMe · 20/02/2025 18:57

Zippedydodah · 20/02/2025 16:33

That’s silly, obviously no one would leave a young child for half an hour unsupervised, you’d take a young child in with you ffs!

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Yes agreed, when we’re talking about children seeing you naked a lot of the posts above are referring to older children (and some posts here refer to teenagers and young adults). I think we’ve all had to shower / bath / wee with a baby or young toddler present at some time to ensure their safety and often there literally is no option but it’s very different when talking about an older child seeing their parents naked when they fully comprehend the situation and this is optional / avoidable rather than necessity

AsLivingArrows · 20/02/2025 18:55

Zippedydodah · 20/02/2025 16:33

That’s silly, obviously no one would leave a young child for half an hour unsupervised, you’d take a young child in with you ffs!

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She specified that she was referring to toddlers being locked out of the bathroom, so it definitely sounds like she'd leave them alone to teach them resilience.

Original poster
SnowflakeSmasher86 · 20/02/2025 18:23

How does his body shape up? Would he feel anxious if you made derogatory comments?

He’s very tall and - I think its fair to say - skinny (i often say to people that we look ridiculous together, which I should probably stop, as that’s not a helpful notion!)

He was less thin before we met, although still fit enough to run marathons, so not overweight at all, but someone pointed out to him that he looked a bit chubby once (he was drinking too much at that time) and that has clearly stuck with him, and he has referenced that as a reason why its ok to be ‘factual’ about someone’s size as it pushed him to stop drinking.

I wouldn’t ever make derogatory comments to him, as I just don’t think any good comes of couples being that brutal, even with good intentions. We all know how we look and feel, and we all know the right things to do to look and feel ‘better’ so I don’t think anyone needs their DP to tell them that they’re overweight, underweight or anything else. His view is that nothing should be off limits to talk about (and I’ve said fine, talk about it, but the consequence of that is that I end up upset, feeling criticised and less confident about my body, which can only be a negative for both of us).

Then it just comes back to ‘this is a me problem’ not a ‘him problem’ and I need to think about why I get so upset when he mentions my weight and “how sensitive I am about it”. 🙄

OP posts:
Zippedydodah · 20/02/2025 16:33

AsLivingArrows · 20/02/2025 13:45

No one said anything about being available at all hours of the day, but if you're saying you'd lock yourself in a small room for half an hour and leave a young child to roam around the house by themselves, that's not teaching them resilience, it's leaving them loose to potentially start a fire or strangle themselves in some curtains or fall down and break their leg.

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That’s silly, obviously no one would leave a young child for half an hour unsupervised, you’d take a young child in with you ffs!

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 20/02/2025 15:44

I am very comfortable being naked in front of my husband, even after 2 children and a few extra wobbly bits plus a large scar at the age of 60. He has never made any negative comments. If he did I may feel differently. His body has the wear & tear of life too but I still love him dearly.
If he loves you then he should accept however you look.
How does his body shape up? Would he feel anxious if you made derogatory comments?

AsLivingArrows · 20/02/2025 13:45

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/02/2025 13:32

How is it not "loving" to want to bathe, wash or eliminate in private, ffs??

Bathrooms have doors for a reason. Even toddlers can comprehend that. No one is obliged to be available to their kid every minute of every day. Children need to learn delayed gratification and resilience. Letting mum use the toilet in private is a great start.

No one said anything about being available at all hours of the day, but if you're saying you'd lock yourself in a small room for half an hour and leave a young child to roam around the house by themselves, that's not teaching them resilience, it's leaving them loose to potentially start a fire or strangle themselves in some curtains or fall down and break their leg.

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/02/2025 13:32

How is it not "loving" to want to bathe, wash or eliminate in private, ffs??

Bathrooms have doors for a reason. Even toddlers can comprehend that. No one is obliged to be available to their kid every minute of every day. Children need to learn delayed gratification and resilience. Letting mum use the toilet in private is a great start.

mintbug · 20/02/2025 13:24

StarlightLady · 20/02/2025 13:05

Surely a loving communicative home is more important than teaching children that bodies are something to be ashamed of?

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Surely that's about teaching them about boundaries and respecting people's privacy, not about bodies being shameful?

StarlightLady · 20/02/2025 13:05

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/02/2025 12:53

You can't get a minute's peace in the bath because you haven't trained them about privacy and respecting a closed door.

Surely a loving communicative home is more important than teaching children that bodies are something to be ashamed of?

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/02/2025 12:53

You can't get a minute's peace in the bath because you haven't trained them about privacy and respecting a closed door.

Wiseoldself2022 · 20/02/2025 12:42
  • with his dad (typo)

We will have to agree to disagree on this one. Each to their own!

NovemberMorn · 20/02/2025 12:40

Bleachbum · 20/02/2025 00:12

If my kids are so traumatised by seeing my naked body then why on earth can I not get a minutes peace to myself in the bath?? One or the other is always coming in or out or sitting on the loo for a chat.

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I agree with you, if it's a normal thing for your own family, who are others to say it's traumatising?... they are being small-minded and ridiculous.

My son was used to seeing me and DH naked, and we him till he left home at 18.
The bath and toilet were combined, so if one of us were having a bath and the other wanted a quick pee....no problem.
We always knocked on bedroom doors, but if one person was naked, it wasn't a big deal.
There was no secrecy to nudity...which worked fine when abroad on foreign beaches, son was not one of those kids who gawped at topless women, he was used to it.

Wiseoldself2022 · 20/02/2025 12:35

Bleachbum · 20/02/2025 00:12

If my kids are so traumatised by seeing my naked body then why on earth can I not get a minutes peace to myself in the bath?? One or the other is always coming in or out or sitting on the loo for a chat.

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and @ ItGhoul

I think it's different when you are in the bath or using the toilet (re: men and boys), but prancing walking around the house and cooking whilst naked is a totally different level!
I know my dc hated going into the changing rooms with is dad because he did not want to see the men there naked.

AnAltogetherDifferentSortOfThing · 20/02/2025 12:35

Chevaline · 20/02/2025 12:30

I have a lifetime’s experience of using male public toilets. There is a strict etiquette involved that you, as a woman, may not be aware of. Men focus on what they are doing. They don’t “catch glimpses” of other men’s cocks.

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Quite.

In a row of three, never use the middle one. Eyes forward and down.

I've walked past many a man's toilets and the festival open air urinals and I have never caught a glimpse of cock. You have to at least be looking in the general direction. I know where men keep them so I don't look.

Chevaline · 20/02/2025 12:30

ItGhoul · 20/02/2025 12:01

Given that I, as a woman, have caught an occasional glimpse of someone’s cock when having to walk past men weeing, I’m pretty sure plenty of men have too. I’m not saying they all have a good old look, obviously. But pissing in a urinal in a row of other men is really not a private business.

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I have a lifetime’s experience of using male public toilets. There is a strict etiquette involved that you, as a woman, may not be aware of. Men focus on what they are doing. They don’t “catch glimpses” of other men’s cocks.

crankytoes · 20/02/2025 12:25

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/02/2025 02:59

Wanting to use the bathroom in private has zero to do with shame.

But what did you do when your dc ( if you have any) were tiny toddlers. I just brought them in to the bathroom with me when I showered or when to the loo. I'd bring in a toy and they would sit on a bath mat and play whilst I did my business

ItGhoul · 20/02/2025 12:01

Chevaline · 20/02/2025 00:05

While I agree with the essence of what you are saying, I feel I must point out the error in your assumption that men and boys see each other's dicks in public loos.

It doesn’t happen.

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Given that I, as a woman, have caught an occasional glimpse of someone’s cock when having to walk past men weeing, I’m pretty sure plenty of men have too. I’m not saying they all have a good old look, obviously. But pissing in a urinal in a row of other men is really not a private business.

StarlightLady · 20/02/2025 11:00

leopardandspots · 20/02/2025 10:54

I'm definitely too embarrassed to amble about naked in front of anyone but somehow have produced two daughters who will happily amble about naked in front of friends, boyfriends and probably the postman.

Due to what could be described as a minor mishap l showed my postman the lot a couple of years back 🫢.

leopardandspots · 20/02/2025 10:54

I'm definitely too embarrassed to amble about naked in front of anyone but somehow have produced two daughters who will happily amble about naked in front of friends, boyfriends and probably the postman.

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