Partner changed their mind on cohabitation agreement

OK, since you are both well off, I think ring fencing your assets is fair.

Except that there should be specific reference to what happens if one partner takes time out of work / career for child rearing. I would want to see that as a ‘break clause’ in the agreement.

One way and another communication, understanding and mutual support seems to have failed.

Instead of throwing up your hands declaring ‘I’d never have lived with you…’ ask her kindly and calmly what it is that is bothering her. Not what her solicitor / your solicitor blah blah says… what is it that in her heart of hearts is upsetting her.

And really listen.

And think what you really want. What is most important to you? Her? Your savings? A home in which you can raise a child?

Is she storing eggs as an insurance policy against you breaking up?

If so it seems like you are both hedging your bets in different ways in this relationship. That’s politics, not love and team-for-life stuff.

I'd potentially sign that if it was just us two. However what if one of you gets ill and can't work? It kind of negates the point of a partnership for me if the other person is like 'sorry you're ill love, but please use all your savings to continue to pay your share of the bills, while I keep building my assets'

It all changes when you have kids though. Presumably you both work fairly long hours in high pressure jobs if you're high earners. Are you expecting to get a nanny and both work full time? If not and you want your child to actually see a parent for some quality time in the week, I'd expect both of you to take equal hits to careers (eg both work 4 days) or to be financially compensated if I was concentrating more on home stuff. You can't be 50 50 in that situation without significant detriment to the person who does more childcare

No one should be involved in your decision over your personal reporductive rights, no one. Frankly if a BF was still upset with me 3 days later for me wanting to use contraception would be given the heave ho.

I think you are very sensible to consider ring fencing your financial positions too and not cold. You can't allow people to trample over you, if she can't accept that then neither of you are suitable for each other. Time for you both to move on and stop wasting time with each other.

Does she want to sign it? If so, why is it not signed already?
I wouldn't sign it, wouldn't marry you and definitely wouldn't have sex with you!
Are you both sure that this is a relationship that is serving you both? Do you definitely want to continue together?

That was my first thought.

I wouldn’t sign it. I also wouldn’t divorce for a payout if I was happy. If I took maternity and my career took a hit and my partners didn’t, I would expect this to be evened out through pension etc.

This.

I think the biggest incentive for divorce is not being married to the person. Most people don't get divorced for the payout, they might stay married for finances though.

It is a financial transaction at the point where you aren't married.

It may have been better explaining that at the outset as the majority of comments are based on the position in English law.

It's great to be organised and protect your assets, honest open conversations and making plans together is healthy. However you sound so cold talking about it, like it's a financial transaction.

I am going to be blunt. I wouldn’t marry you, conceive with you and be asking you to move out.

I’m sorry but even if you amend the terms of if I were her I wouldn’t sign it. I don’t blame her for getting upset.

if my DH had presented that to me I’d have thrown it back at him in a crumpled ball. Protect the assets you own already absolutely but anything past the date of marriage the presumption will always be 50:50 regardless of what the piece of paper says. In the UK prenups may have a little weight depending on circumstances and length of marriage but not binding anyway. You need to rethink what you think marriage is.

this is entirely different to a cohabitation agreement which are used when 2 parties who are not married buy a place together and so sets out how the equity should be divided should you split.

This.

I would seriously rethink the relationship. She is questioning your autonomy and boundaries at every turn.

Are you in the UK?

What about the financial hit she is likely to take if she has children with you?

I don’t think that would stand up as a prenup in any situation in the UK.

you can’t override the 50:50 presumption. You can however try and protect assets you have brought into the marriage which in my mind is fair enough, particularly when getting married past 30.

but quite frankly I wouldn’t sign that. Once married it is 50:50. My DH earns more but I work less and do more child related activities and housework. We work as a team as that is what we are. any inheritances/windfalls go into the pot as we are a family!

I don’t think you are ready for what marriage and children entails. You stop being individuals the second you sign the paper. But that is ok. You aren’t committed and it is perfectly reasonable for you to walk away now. But honestly no one will agree to that!

So, if she now won't sign the agreement is that a deal-breaker for you? If so, you need to move out to your own place. Then you both need to decide if you want to continue with any kind of relationship.
I'm still confused as to why you didn't ensure she signed the co-habitation agreement before you moved in with her?

That all sounds reasonable as two single people who are not intending to have children, but would be pretty rubbish for someone who had to take maternity leaves etc.

Hmmm I’m not sure this is a relationship you should both be pinning your futures on..

I'd move back out.