My husband has just left me

Im so sorty

Definitely retract your part time offer. Employers cant be surprisingly flexible in extenuating circumstances.

You'll be fine. I did it, you can do it. My teenager was fine alone while I did nights and you have two of them. Can you switch to days?
Take a week off sick if that's at all possible to sort things out and claim UC. Get some help from citizens advice about all you can claim.
If that prick wants a divorce he can damn well pay for it and organise it.

Jesus what an absolute arsehole. I'm so sorry

Due to these shock circumstances, you should retract your offer to work part time. Engage a lawyer and take some days off to think.
Make sure your EXH is slotted in to do 50/50 care with his children.
You are fortunate in that they are teenagers, that is one thing.

Claim your life. Remain working and try to keep EXH equally involved in, and paying for the extra care of your pre teens new needs.

I'd be saying, well don't forget the children darling!!¡

Why do men always think they can walk away from the wife and that includes the children.

No you want to leave you take them with you and I shall be Disney mum and have the fun times.

I have been with this man since I was 16. I haven’t built connections have been very isolated to our family. I do not have extended family myself and literally just moved house to a new area so haven’t built up any support yet.

Know what, you have so much to look forward to then. Seriously wave him off.

Its a lot going on but you've gone part time so you'll have space to sort stuff. Money us the biggest issue but you'll get help with that and he'll need to give you some towards the kids.

You're not the first and won't be the last. There's lots of support out there once you know where to look, it will be all good Op.

You will be fine. So many of the population have been in a marriage like yours and have come out the other side stronger with the ex not doing so well. It is scary now and you may doubt your abilities and strength but you have both in abundance. You have to believe it.

This man is an inadequate person, pathetic man and disgraceful father. See, you're none of those things so already doing better than him.

Start a thread for practical help of it would be easier to keep that and the emotions separate and you have a whole team behind you now. He's on his own.

As an older woman I promise you, you haven't given him your best years. Those are to come. Particularly without this horrible bit of rubbish you've been living with.

What do you mean you have been hanging on his every word?

Do you mean he has been calling the shots and you knew something wasn’t right but believed him anyway?

So sorry, has he met someone else do you think?

Tell your Manager, make an appointment with HR.
You actually sound focused. Use your anger to carry you through the coming days.
Single person council tax bill/UC may all help.
He's a nothing.

I realise that this is very raw right now, but from your updates it may well turn out that the trash has taken itself out.

@Whatdoidonowthenhey it may feel awful at the moment but you need to see it as a blessing in disguise.

Ending a 17 year relationship by message when you're at work is spineless. Sounds like he has been rather manipulative.

How old are the teenagers?

Is the house owned or rented?

This is horrific. Call a lawyer.

As others have said, you definitely haven’t given him your best years, just your young ones. You have it all ahead of you now.
He sounds very immature and unkind.

So sorry you are going through this. What a shock! Take it one day at a time you will get through this.

I got divorced in my mid 30s - my best years were after that - and yours will be too.

Go and stay somewhere else, while you decide what you want to do. Spoil his plans and let him look after the children

I'm guessing you're not a mum then?

Also - I agree with PPs.....you have NOT given him your best years. You are mid thirties, very young, with 50/60/70 years left to make the most WONDERFUL life for yourself 🥰❤️

@Whatdoidonowthenhey
You haven't given him all your best years.
After the shock and getting sorted you can have better days ahead.
I'm so sorry you seem to have been shafted.
Maybe the part time move will work out better for you right now and you may be able to get universal credit.
Have you heard any more from him overnight?
Speak to a solicitor asap. You can do this. 💐

What an awful husband, man and parent he is to do this to your family. If he wanted out there are decent ways to go about this.

You will get through this. A year from now you will feel better and stronger. In the meantime put in a cms claim asap.

This is awful for you OP. But please don't think your best years have been with him. You are only mid 30s with teenagers. You best years are yet to come. Although it doesn't l like that right now.
What an arsehole, he probably did have it all planned.

Sorry you’re in this position and you’ve been treat disgusting by him but you need to find your strength . You do have it in you . One step at a time . Don’t look to far ahead in your mind . He’s a twat and he’s done you a favour in the long term . You’re still very young and life has a funny way of working things out without you having to do nothing .

This is just awful for you.

I'm so sorry that he's putting you through this ❤️

What housing costs do you have? Aside from your emotions right now, which must be all over the place, housing for you and the children, is the most important thing to work out

Can you stay in the family home?

You can apply for benefits, of course, which will boost your income considerably

If you have a chat with your boss and explain what's happening, can you take some time off to sort finances out, and give you some breathing space?

Keep posting here and we will help you as much as we can 🥰

I am so sorry. What a disgusting way to treat you! Can you move back? Is that something you’d like to do?

You need to see a divorce lawyer ASAP. Get whatever paperwork you can re finances, bank statements, payslips so you can get maintenance sorted to support you.