Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family Drama

33 replies

MixedBananas · 16/02/2025 20:44

Would you distance yourself from people "family" like this?

DM had knee surgery and complications needed 2 long stays in hospital her DS didn't visit at all and made an awful excuse that only 1 visitor was allowed. Howpital is 20mins drive. Utter bull crap. DMs DS went to help out with her DDs distant friends, grandmothers funeral. Travelled over 2 hours and stayed a week to help out the family. Not close just an acquaintance. No friendship whatsoever between the elderly lady and the DS.
What message does this send?

P.s DM and DS have a on and off relationship like usual sister drama bothibg major, but DM was blindsided by these events in the last 12months and this was the whole cake and the icing with a cherry on top for us all.

OP posts:
Original poster
MixedBananas · 17/02/2025 07:25

CaptainFuture · 16/02/2025 20:48

How long was she in hospital for her knee op? Didn't she have any other visitors? Did her sister stay in touch in other ways?

First time it was 5 days the second time it was 10days due to infection.

Yes DM children visited. But her DS who knew she was in a bad way never did and made lame excuse about only 1 visitor is allowed.
This family member was in hospital 1 hour away 2 years ago and DM and us went multiple times during her stay and provided help after discharge. When DM was discharged she got no help from her DS.

OP posts:
PrincessOfPreschool · 16/02/2025 21:42

It's only Drama (with a capital D) if you make it one.

MuddyPawsIndoors · 16/02/2025 21:39

I'm not sure I'd be too bothered really if my aunt didn't visit my mother in hospital, as long as me and my siblings did.

Besides, there's plenty of ways to contact her to find out how she is, such as texting etc.

It's not like the old days when the nurses would wheel a telephone round the ward, and you needed change and were limited to about 5 minutes.

Yellowrosessmellpetaly · 16/02/2025 21:25

Best stay out of it unless you are fully aware of all the details and all the history between them.

Onlyonekenobe · 16/02/2025 21:01

I do t think it's a big deal that a presumably older than middle aged woman didn't visit her sister in hospital after a knee replacement. It's not that big a deal, surely?

I also don't think I would be in a position to know or judge my aunt's relationships with people.

I am also not so closely involved in any other adult's personal relationships. They're none of my business. If people tell me stuff, I listen because they obviously want me to. But I don't do anything more than that.

Never2many · 16/02/2025 20:53

So you want to distance yourself from your auntie because she didn’t visit your mother in hospital? Seriously?

Honestly the trend of going “nc” has gone way too far on here.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 16/02/2025 20:49

By DS do you mean Darling Sister?

So your mum’s sister didn’t visit her in hospital? Is that right?

CaptainFuture · 16/02/2025 20:48

How long was she in hospital for her knee op? Didn't she have any other visitors? Did her sister stay in touch in other ways?