Not farting in front of DH

Could you not have told her that it was the anaesthetic?

I have NC for this.
I was staying with my mum before she had a serious operation.
We were all anxious.
I suffer from IBS.
When she got up in the morning I farted. Normally not a problem, we aren't a non fart household.
Except.... this fart was so offensive it made my mum gag and retch and eventually puke in the bin.
My reaction was nervous laughter, wanting to see to her too, as I got up to pass the bin another one fell out.

I was banished to the garden.

I live alone. I'm not conscious about farting but after reading this thread I realised when I do fart (alone in my house) I excuse myself 😂

One of my in laws & their family are non farters. Why they married my sibling I've no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️ it is my siblings hobby I think & their spouse hates it with a passion.

Can't help it when I'm getting to the age now that I have kinetic farts that just escape when I'm bending over or I start walking. 😂 Never been told to hold them in, so I can't, they come when they come. I might excuse myself at work if I can feel one brewing, but otherwise I'll just fart with gay abandon, as will DH.

Just curious for people who say they physically cannot hold them in, what do you do at work? Do you all just work at home by yourself? And what do you do at appointments?
I don’t really like farting in front of anyone but have occasionally in front of my husband. He farts in front of me and I don’t mind.

But I work as a dental hygienist. I’m with patients for 80% of my working day. I couldn’t just let rip every time I wanted. And I’d find it disgusting if someone did it while I was treating them.
I also wouldn’t want to be at the hairdresser and have them farting constantly and have them just say oh sorry I’ve got a bad stomach etc. Or my GP just lift a leg and let out a massive fart then say carry on telling me about your depression.
Or a funeral director meeting a new client and let’s out a loud fart in front of the grieving and crying clients.

So while I get it that people want to fart freely at home that’s fine. I understand that. But people who say they PHYSICALLY CAN’T hold them in do you just fart loudly and without concern about smell no matter where you are?

It's natural to break wind. Nothing wrong with a little discretion in public but families should be comfortable enough with each other to let out any potential discomfort. And it can be quite funny.

DS once had a girlfriend who gave him a lecture about how disgusting guffs 0were and how he shouldn't do them in front of her and have more respect. I think she thought that DH and I would back her up. DH just looked up and over his half moons in a bemused way and said something like "my dear, you won't like it here". I contemplated cooking lamb, leeks and onion sauce in the hope she wouldn't come back. She came back for four bloody years.

We are all so different!

I think I found the one when I felt I was considered enough that he didn't fart in the bed or the room I was in.

I don't think I'm a prude at all, certainly not about sex or nudity. I just don't like unpleasant smells.

We’ve been married 30 years and my husband has never farted in front of me 😂. I cannot say the same but wouldn’t intentionally do it. It’s one thing i find really grim.

My god, if any one of us left the room to fart, we'd never be in the same room. We are a very windy family and farts are hilarious. I farted during sex once and couldn't stop laughing.
Like pp, he's seen me give birth, a fart is nothing.

Omg can this go to classics? I'm laughing witn gusto,!

🤢

Well that’s the second dumbest thing I’ve heard on MN.

I agree. It’s such a turn off. Some things are meant to be private

Same here. Never

Those who finds farts funny - like, why? I think they’re gross, really struggle to see why anyone would find them funny. I mean is all farts that amuse you, or just particular ones?

Honestly I don't know. It's not a conscious decision to find the topic funny, it just bypasses my intelligent, adult brain and I'm in hysterics. You know how young children go through that stage? It's like I never got passed that.
That's okay though, it's nice to have an extra source of amusement in the world, and at least DH and I are fart-compatible.

Burping and nose picking are not funny or attractive, I do agree.

Farts on the other hand ..... they are. I don't know why. 🤣🤣 I guess I just never grew up there (58 now) and nor did my parents.

Those who finds farts funny - like, why? I think they’re gross, really struggle to see why anyone would find them funny. I mean is all farts that amuse you, or just particular ones?

You can certainly see why the Fart Plan Diet was promoted using only the initial of the first word

Thank you Bubbles.
also thank you for bringing me a smile 😃

It would be pretty amazing if when he becomes an adult, he shows a distinct preference for a beautiful bum (like his mums) I think we would all be amazed at what a therapy or hypnosis session could reveal about our childhoods that’s deep deep down in our psyche 😱🤭

I'll probably get hate for this but I find it a bit baffling that people find that stuff funny beyond childhood.

It’s the same as pelvic floors but just the bum. They have to teach you how to do them as it’s quite tricky. I hope my son does not remember any of what he saw when he was sat in his buggy at my physio appointments as I do wonder if he will recount it in therapy one day…

@Spudthespanner I just don’t find farting or things like burping and picking one’s nose sexually attractive. Sure we all do those things-but I’d rather laugh at my dh’s wit than farts.

@BunnyLake

That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve heard on MN.

It's one of the funniest things I've heard on MN

If you don't find farts funny you're both losers because you're chosing to have less joy in your life but the exact same amount of farts.

@Thirstysue you are a genius 😂

The evidence on this thread does seem to indicate that those who fart merrily and laugh at each other's farts, do seem to have the better sense on humour. Those arguing the contrary are coming across as prim and upright.

Good point. If you just fart willy nilly around your partner, they might still love you but will they still fancy you? Over time will it give them the ick? I mean, it’s normal, to some people (bizarrely) humorous, but it’s not sexy is it.

Or fancy each other unconditionally. If DH sat on the sofa guffing all evening, of course I'd still love him, but if he made a habit of it it wouldn't exactly set my loins afire. And I imagine he'd say the same of me.

The occasional fart can't be helped and shouldn't be a problem. That goes double if there's a medical reason why it can't be helped. And we all know farts can be funny (although my ex thought 'pull my finger' and shoving my head under the bedclothes etc after a fart was the height of hilarity, and it really wasn't). But personally if DH and I just routinely lifted one cheek and let rip every time we felt one coming, and didn't even bother to acknowledge it, for me personally that wouldn't feel very respectful. Especially if the farts stank.

This thread has just reminded me that when I was growing up my parents would constantly 'fart in place' without comment (that was a real treat when my dad was having a stab at the F-plan diet 😩) and when I commented on it to my mum she said something along the lines that not worrying about burping and farting in front of your partner* 'brings you closer together'. Medical necessity aside, if that's what closer together looks like, I think I'd rather maintain a bit of distance, thanks all the same!

(*see also: picking one's ears and looking at it. But I digress.)

adults don’t love each unconditionally though.

True, but my conditions aren't that stringent that they include natural bodily functions. Violence, deception, cruelty - yes. A few farts? All good.