Not farting in front of DH

Pilonidal cyst/ abscess probs. Had a bartholins abscess and pre sepsis earlier this year.. have an MRI on Saturday and meantime DH is using his adult medicine skills. I have learnt to be chill about this. But god it's painful!

I would never intentionally fart at all!
But I do try and hold it in and go to the bathroom when I feel a bit gaseous. Mine tend to stink but not make noise. Gross but true!

🤣🤣🤣

I think you're right. Maintain your dignity.

Odd excuse. We also all just poo but I bet you don't just squirt one out while cuddling with your partner on the sofa.

Completely agree with you, OP. It’s offensive and unfunny when done indiscriminately.

Horrendous, more like.

@Lemsipper i have also never pooed. When I was in labour the second time around I started violently screaming for my husband to get out for seemingly no apparent reason ( I thought I was going to poo) he still talks about how strange it was when I turned against him for no reason 😂

Hidradenitis?

I once farted discreetly near to the entrance to a lift I was waiting for while at college. I was horrified as I saw two women from my class walking towards me...we got chatting and then as we got into the lift one of them starts to complain about the "dreadful smell"... the other woman agreed with her and said it was worse where she'd been standing by the bin...I couldn't stop laughing, so much so I accidentally farted very loudly inside the lift...my cover was well & truly blown...we emerged from the lift in hysterics.

For context, I was 44 and they were 42 & 37 respectively...we really didn't deserve the title "mature" students.

15 years and I never have. Pretty impressive actually

I'm reading this while my (doc) DH cleans puss out of a cyst thing near my arse.. I have a nice bum according to him so he doesn't mind..plus it's avoiding surgery in a sensitive area for me, so win.

Fart in front of your DH and get over yourselves (in the nicest way possible!) we're all just bodies.

Fuck this hurts tho 😥

Ex used to fart then waft it towards his face to smell it. Yuk. It was constant. It was probably all ingrained into the sofa.

Partner now has accidentally let them go and apologises. I don’t. He’s heard me once in my sleep.

I think people who fart all the time have poor diets. If you eat a low carb diet you hardly fart at all, I e found.

I fart in front of my husband and kids.
In part, it started when one of my daughters was super farty and very embarrassed about it as a 6-7 year old. I realised I needed to normalise it and show her I was ok with farting around near family.
Never looked back!

Same, we don't fart in front of each other, other than a couple of accidental ones during pregnancy and then only time I've ever heard DH fart was in his sleep. My ex was the same, to the point that he was so desperate not to, he went off in an alley way on pretence of doing a wee, farted and followed through, that was a little harder to explain away lol

He used to say he couldn't hold it in. But he never did it in front of our parents, friends etc.

Surely he spent more time with you though?

Unfortunately the only marriage vow most of MN seem to be bothered with is "keep you only unto them" The rest including "in sickness and in health" seem to be optional

We are comfortable farting in front of each other. My resolve to never do it was broken by a tummy bug in our second year together, never looked back. Prefer not having to hold it in or sneak off to the bathroom during the night or make unnecessary bathroom trips.

I've been through peri and it didn't make me fart any more that normal (which is only about once a day anyway).

I don't fart that often, wonder what's a normal amount

I have IBS and am postpartum so no longer trust them and am envious of anyone who can let rip freely. I don’t ever fart around my husband. I go to the bathroom. My husband will claim he can’t control them which I find deeply concerning 😂

When one person in the room feels a fart coming on, they announce "Guess my fart". Everyone else has to try and guess what the fart is going to sound like by way of blowing the appropriately toned/pitched raspberry. The farter then farts and the winner is whoever guessed the closest sound! It's so much more fun than Uno.

I'm told there's a lot of good examples on TikTok (I may fart, but I don't do TikTok!).

One of my funniest memories of my DH when we first met was him timing a jump up in the air with a fart when we were on a walk. I knew then he was the man for me.

Have you ever been in a busy ward in hospital for a week?

Same OP.

I just wish DH of 20 years would get the message! He thinks it's fine to do it wherever and whenever - it's such a turn off! I tried telling him that but he just laughs.

Of course we all have occasional slips - that's only natural. But I hate deliberate and uncaring (and loud) blasts. So gross! And I really hate when he gets up at 4 in the morning and does huge loud echoing farts in the en-suite - if he hadn't woken me getting out of bed I'd have no chance sleeping through that.

He says he does it so as not to do it in bed - so I suppose I should be thankful. But why can't he do it quietly? It just makes me cringe! Aargh......