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Original poster

Why are so many people worried that it’s selfish to have one child?

105 replies

1970girl · 16/02/2025 17:38

The old stereotype of an only child was they have a lot of material things. I don’t agree with this necessarily. Also I don’t believe that a child ‘needs’ siblings - even though potentially of course they can be a good thing.

But if an only child is traditionally thought to be privileged materially - although I don’t buy into ANY aspect of the only child stereotype - then why are some posters worried that having one child is ‘selfish?’

OP posts:
MiniMaxi · 16/02/2025 17:45

In a nutshell because they believe the parent is being “selfish” having a child they want without thinking of that child’s “need” to have a sibling.

Said posters rarely acknowledge that, in many cases, the parents haven’t had more for very good, unavoidable reasons they might not be happy about (eg fertility, medical, financial, break up). Let alone the couples who chose to have one and are totally happy with that decision.

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 16/02/2025 17:43

I had someone tell me once that it was wrong of me to not have a 2nd child - never mind that l went into my menopause almost straight after having dd.
Wasn't even someone l knew that well - just an old guy that used to be a customer in the shop l worked in!

LittleRedRidingHoody · 16/02/2025 17:43

Ah parental guilt at its finest. If you have two/three/four/five kids you then worry you're selfish and being unfair on the oldest as well!

I have 1 child. I feel happy that I can give him everything he wants/needs within reason (and may not be able to do this with multiple!) and give him all my time when not working/he's not at school. Im happy with that! But I definitely still get the niggling feeling it's 'unfair' on him to not have a sibling.

lnks · 16/02/2025 17:42

You're inviting posters to say why having just one child is selfish, knowing that people with only one child will read it. It's also a very good way of making parents with secondary infertility feel pretty crap too.

lnks · 16/02/2025 17:40

Not that you're trying to start a bun fight or anything

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