Why are so many people worried that it’s selfish to have one child?

It is selfish to only have one child.
It's also selfish to have more than one child.
It's selfish to not have any children.
That's just life OP.

I’ve never encountered any parents of onlies who are worried it’s selfish, I have heard many times them says “such and such a person says it’s selfish”, which is very different.

Here we go.

No. My brother is useless and when I was younger, physically abusive. Don't tell people what their experience is.

DD is a happy only.

Having siblings, I was perfectly happy initially having just 1. DH is an only child and he was very keen for DD1 to have a sibling, despite having a great friendship group, a good relationship with his parents (although very intense at times which he puts down to being an only child, I put it more down to MIL personality), a big extended family with lots of cousins, he still felt his childhood was quite lonely at key points, like Christmas when his friends were all with their families. So it was definitely a case of us both wanting what we hadn't had 'the grass is always greener'.

We did go on to have DD2, and I'm very thankful we did, I think DD1 wouldn't be half as rounded and resilient without her, very different but complementary personalities, which makes us very lucky, and might change.

I don't think it's ever selfish to have 1 though, for many children it will be a good option. It is potentially selfish though to have many more than you can afford/have capacity to look after.

I've got an only child - we don't struggle for money or time, I'm happy to be coming out of some of the difficult bits of parenting, and he's never wanted a sibling.

In contrast, I'm one of three, and was probably pretty neglected as a child.

I don't know, I don't really think there's a right number of children to have.

I'm an only child. I'm the happiest fucker alive.
I'm a middle aged woman. I know what's what.
I have one friend who's an only child who wished he'd had siblings. The others I know are just as chilled about it as I am.

You really don't understand that there are down sides to being an only child?

How odd.

My DM was an only child and always wanted a sibling and in her 80’s still says this. I as such have 4 siblings. I think if you’re having 1 (given DM feeling) you should give them a sibling if possible. No more than two children though if you want to have any say in the environment 🌏

Ime the people who want to tell you you're selfish are not actually worried they just want confirmation that they made the 'right choice' by having more.

My dp is an only child. He was happy as a child because he had close friends but we're now at the age where our parents need support. He's doing a huge amount of caring for his mum and has no siblings to share the responsibility with.

Our dd is an only child. Growing up, she had experiences that we couldn't have afforded if I had been able to have another child, and we made sure that she had plenty of playdates etc.
But I do worry that she will feel obliged to look after us when we're old and that she won't have anyone to share that with.

I've got one daughter age 7 and I've heard them all over the years ..."Oh you can't leave her on her own" "Time for one more" "When is she getting a brother or sister?" and even "Tick tock" 🙄

No no no. Nobody else's business. You never know what people are going through.

I am not cut out for mothering multiple children.
If people think I'm selfish, they are very welcome to come and look after a new baby for me.

I'm an only and it was fine, I wasn't lonely. I definitely wasn't spoilt, either. The surrounding families with 3 or 4 kids each got far more 'stuff' than I ever did. I had to go without things sometimes or wait for the right time.

The whole 'having a child is selfish', 'not having a child is selfish'... honestly just ignore all that and do what you feel is right.

And meanwhile, back in the real world, nobody actually gives a fuck how many kids other people have.

OP, deliberately threw in a grenade which pitted mothers against one another and then ran away.

The saddest thing is how many are falling for it.

OP wants a bunfight for some reason. Please ignore.

To protect your own feeling you will automatically judge people who have chosen different paths to yourself to reinforce you have made the right decision.

This is a natural unconscious thing that everyone does.

Weather the decision is to:
Have children or not
How many children
Have an abortion
Be a SAHM
Get a divorce
Cheat / leave someone who has cheated
Send your kids to private school
Go to university
Go travelling
Get solar panels

And so on and so on...

As my mum would say-

It's different strokes for different folks

There is no right or wrong

I'm very glad I have a sister now my parents are frail and no longer mentally sound.

I have no children, so I am hoping the assisted dying process has been sorted out by the time I (inevitably) go the same way.

Choosing to procreate is inherently selfish. We have babies because we are biologically driven to want to have them. It's our selfish drive to pass on our DNA.

On that basis, having 2 children is twice as selfish than having one, and having 3 children is 3 times as selfish

Anything less than 17 children is selfish.

Anything more than 17 children is virtuous.

That isn't always true.

I loved being an only child, I've always loved being able to have my own space and I'm not convinced a sibling would have enhanced my life in any way.

One of the main reasons I see for some saying you NEED to have more than one is about when parents are older and need care. Honestly, from what I've seen those with siblings don't have it any easier and it nearly always falls on one child to do the care/sorting out anyway. I often think the stress of trying to get another sibling to pull their weight is probably worse than just getting on with it.

Ultimately everyone's different and the main thing is to do what's right for your family.

Well, it can be a bit shit if you have siblings that don’t look out for you - many examples evidenced on these forums . I am an only and can honestly can say I’ve never felt isolated because of it. I’m a great believer in what you don’t have you don’t miss

I only have one child, he's an adult now and so glad to be an only. I don't feel selfish at all. I wasn't an only but really, really wish I had been. I don't speak to my sibling, we've never got on and never looked out for each other. I dread having to sort out my parents funeral/estate etc with them.

Please. The arguments for and against having one child or more than one are well known. This is a faux naive post designed to stir people up. You do you and let others get on with their lives however they choose to.