to not want to announce my baby’s weight

I’ve never understood why people announce a babies weight, other than there’s not really much else you can say about a newborn baby. Yet people not only state their child’s birthweight, they continue to give updates on a child’s weight gain. When does it end?

How is your Jake doing now?
Oh he’s grand! He got weighed last week, he was 12 stone 6 and a half, and 6 foot 2.

My DM was like that. I weighed 4lbs when I was born . (Made up for it since.)My DD weighed 8lbs . I wouldn’t have shouted about that if I was her it’s due to her 20 a day habit.

Blimey. 7lb3 is on the small side. My DD was 7lb 7 and she was so teeny.

Just ask her what she thinks the ideal weight for a baby is and then when they're born tell her that's what they are

That is super weird (your mum, not you!). I've honestly never heard of such a thing in my life. And the thing is, a 7lb 3oz baby is still tiny!

My son was 7lbs 8 oz and was certainly not huge (mother in bed on other side of ward had a baby weighing 10lbs and a difficult and long labour - she was exhausted) so I think your mum is a bit weird and also woefully uninformed about healthy birth weights.

That was my first thought. I was a child of the 60s and all the mums smoked, pregnant or not, and many had low birth-weight babies because of it.

Your mum sounds mad. That's a perfectly normal weight. Obviously very small babies are a cause for concern but not anything that's in the normal range. It's her issue and you need to nip it in the bud right now.

Agreed!!

Ive felt the opposite to be honest. Mine were 6lbs 1oz and 6lbs 3oz. Both full term and very healthy pregnancies. Went home the same day with both but some people have loved to focus on how tiny they were and why were they so tiny etc xx

Have you looked at the "Almond mom" thing? That's a sort of internet therapy-esque discourse which has sprung up around mothers in the 90s who were so obsessively into diet culture that it was unhealthy and how it rubbed off on their teenage daughters. You are not the only one dealing with this - it might be helpful to see what other people are saying about it. I think KC Davis recently did a two-part podcast about it which might be helpful.

YANBU and your mum is being very odd. So much so that I doubt you will be able to persuade her differently so I would just ignore it and try not to engage. Were you or a sibling very small? Perhaps she is trying to normalise an experience which was traumatic for her? (Whatever the reason, you don't have to understand or fix it.)

You don't have to announce the weight - TBH I don't think anybody (except your mum perhaps!) will ask or even notice. People are much more interested in what name you chose, whether it's a boy or girl, and seeing cute pictures! As well as of course a general interest/hope that the baby is healthy.

Your mum’s a bit odd isn’t she!

My two were 9lbs 3oz and 8lb 13 oz. Two healthy babies that are now 6 footers.

The only people who asked were my parents and PIL. Unless really big or small I don't think anyone cares.

OP's mum is weird though

I don't understand how she thinks a 7lb-er is "huge"? It's perfectly average, is she confused about weights?

In my family having a big baby is celebrated - my dsis had a 12lb baby (had to have an emergency Caesarian) and we still talk about it 25 years later! He's gone down in family lore 😂

If your dm is that obsessed I wouldn't put it past her to sneak the baby off to weigh it! I'm not sure you can hide how much the baby weighs as it'll be stressful to you - much better that you practice completely ignore your ridiculous mother. Maybe practice an eye roll and "oh, this again dm - why do you think you're so completely obsessed with baby's weights? It's so boring" etc. Put it back on her.

Are you not going to let your mum see that baby? Because if she does and she's the type to comment she's going to comment anyway.

Traditionally big was good when it comes to babies (well provided they and mum survived the birth). It was associated with being health and more likely to survive.

OP, look up the Let Them theory, podcast or book, which is about how to let these sorts of annoying things go over your head. Sounds like you need this with your mum.

i think this is about her making herself virtuous about being small or slim and having a small baby, and her weird slimming obsession has already had an adverse effect on you, so you could probably do with switching off from her, it’s her eating disorder and related thoughts and not yours.

Yeah I get this I had the same when I had my little boy he weighed 9lb 5oz just remember when they are born that is the smallest they will ever be

I wish somebody had told me to get at least 2 or 3, 0-1m baby sleepsuits with my first. Dm told me to get all 0-3m because they would last longer, and being 2 weeks overdue baby would be really big etc. Baby was 8 pound, narrow, small head and all legs, the baby grows and hat swamped dc, and looked ridiculous. I had to send dh out to get acouple of 0-1m.

Can you send her a screenshot of a WHO growth chart, in a 'oh look i just found out the average weight of a newborn girl is 7 7 (or whatever), id expected it to be much higher after your reaction to Sarah's baby

Personally I would get T shirts printed with baby's name and weight on for all the family. Except your dm. Tell her you know how ridiculous she is about weight so you didn't get her one. Honestly op quash this shit down now.

How's this going to work @TeaAndToys . People are going to ask, and you're going to have to say "I'm not sharing that information", and people will say OK but privately think you're a bit weird. Or you can tell them that you're not telling anyone because of your Mum, and then you'll end up having multiple conversations with people about your mother's issues.

Far better to just deal with the source. "Mum, I don't want to hear your comments on the size of the baby, because quite frankly you're really bloody weird about it, and I don't want to deal with your issues."

I had a similar issue with my Mum. She'd always make comments about people's weight, I think because she had a sister who was absolutely tiny and it made her feel insecure about her own size. One day in my 20s I told her I never wanted to have another conversation about her, mine or anyone else's weight and that any time she brought it up I'd leave the conversation. She got the huff for a few days and then got over it. It took her a few months to actually stop doing it, and I'd leave the room or hang up the phone every single time. She got the message after that though.

Probably from an era when lots more women smoked, including during pregnancy, which is obviously linked to small babies.

Does she not know that 8lb babies are associated with healthier placentas?

If my mom was like this I'd be telling her the baby weighed 10lb, even if it didn't and would then be asking her why she's so wierd/concerned over babies weighing more. What an odd thing...all my babies have been heavier than 8lb...they just looked like normal babies

I think what people are missing is that the mum isn't criticising the BABY or saying that they are going to grow up into a behemoth or be hugely overweight. The mum is criticising the MOTHER of the baby which is 7lbs or more, because everyone knows that teeny tiny women with their eating disorders have teeny tiny babies and that it is only those women lacking self-discipline and control who have larger babies.

I'm sorry to hear you had an eating disorder, OP, but growing up around those attitudes I'm not surprised. I think you need to nip it in the bud now before she gets a chance to push her teenytiny = good attitude onto the next generation. Not easy though.