to not want to announce my baby’s weight

Just tell her 4 but don’t mention it’s in kg.

That's so weird I thought you were going to say the reverse IE didn't want to say how small baby is. A big baby is generally a healthy baby. If anything I felt a little apprehensive saying mine was only 6lb 9 when everyone else was talking about their 8 lbers

What do you or any siblings way and what did your mum weigh? I thought seven pounds was a normal weight.

My MIL is very performative/competitive. DS1 was 7lb 5oz and early. Once he was born she rang every week. "Have yiu been to the clinic? How much weight had the baby put on?

Every other week, I said "ooh 6oz this time" or "yes 9oz".

I never once went to queue up at the awful clinic to get the baby weighed, I could see him growing.

The ridiculous obsession with baby weight gain seems ludicrous to me in a nation where there is a corresponding ding obsession with obesity.

The HV turned me right off when she told me the 50th centile was the average weight. No it isn't, it was tosh and she needed a lesson in basic statistics but it was said with such authority.

Just tell her any weight that she'll think nothing of. Regardless of the actual weight. 6.5lbs?

This is weird though I've realised my mum is like this. Mine were 8lb and 8lb6 so I guess big-ish but I don't start thinking a baby is big til they're maybe getting closer to 11lbs or something more unusual? She was all wow they're huge and reading your post has reminded me that made me uncomfortable. I was 6lb something but my sister was under 6lbs which mum thought was great.

Following on from my previous reply, I'd suggest the following.

Tell your mum you're not interested in having any conversations with her about weight, and that you won't even be telling her your baby's weight when she is born because you're finding her repeated comments about your friend's baby's weight so fucking annoying you don't want to be subjected to the same thing times ten about your own baby.

Every time she mentions anybody's weight, in any context, say, "Mum, I told you, we're not talking about people's weight. I think you have a lot of emotional issues around weight, I had an eating disorder myself as you know, and I am determined to break this toxic cycle and not pass on any hang ups about weight to my daughter. So we're not talking about weight."

If she continues, you end the conversation. Try changing the subject first, if she insists, you hang up the phone, stop responding to texts, or physically walk away from her.

With regards to other people, make your baby announcement without any reference to weight. If anyone other than your mum asks how much your baby weighs, tell them and don't mention your mum.

If your mum then says, "Sandra mentioned that Isla weighed 8lbs when she was born" (which I think is unlikely because Sandra will think she already knows her granddaughter's birth weight and she's unlikely to want Sandra to know that she isn't privy to this information, just repeat, "Mum, I told you, we're not talking about people's weights."

Such a weird thing to be obsessed with

Good god, your mum is actually fat shaming NEWBORN babies?

No - their mothers.

Give your Mum a chance - hopefully she’ll be so delighted with every other aspect of her new grandchild that she’ll not feel the need to fuss about his or her weight.
Other people would probably think you were bonkers for refusing to disclose the weight.

Good god, your mum is actually fat shaming NEWBORN babies?

I'd concentrate on that, and not your baby's birthweight, because she represents a danger if she's allowed to drip her poison into your child's ears later.

I'd consider using her fixation against her, in a 'if I hear one more word out of you about birthweight you can kiss contact with me and my child goodbye' kind of way. Because let's face it, at some point you're very likely to have to take the 'if I ever hearing you talking shit about weight to my child, you will never be allowed to see her again' line. Seriously.

@TeaAndToys I would be far more concerned about your mother's impact on your child as they grow.
Her fixating on size and weight is only going to get worse so you need to decide how you are going to handle this.

I think telling her very firmly that you won't accept any conversation or comments from her about size, weight, dieting in front of your child and if she doesn't respect that, she won't see them.

what's wrong with your mum?? most babies born at full term are above 6lbs. Mine were both around 9lbs and completely average. what exactly is so I comfortable for her esp as she doesn't have to birth them? this must be one of the weirdest posts I have seen here and there is a lot of weird shit on MN.

a dietician I knew always asked if the mum had gestational diabetes if baby was 10lb +, then went on about how those with GD often had big babies. That was until her first was born who over 10 lbs 😆🤣 No mention of it anymore with baby weight…

Honestly some women are judgy about weight in all areas of pregnancy. I was thin before getting pregnant, and at work randoms I didn’t know seemed so smug to tell me how huge I was, like I didn’t fucking know already. Like, I didn’t even know/remember their names so wasn’t close to them but they would stopping me in the corridor to ask all concerned how far along I was cause I was just so big, and kept insisting how big I was when i tried to shrug it off and get away from them. The two main ones were big ladies themselves (not that I give a shit) or who were known to make comments on others weight if they’d lost some. Their faces when I said I was getting scanned as baby was measuring small (this was actually true at one point).

I then had a 9lb+ baby so the comments started all over again. They shut up quickly as I ‘skinnied’ out again with breastfeeding which I hope pissed them both off greatly (and sorry if that is a stealth boast, but it didn’t last ha!)

OP i can send you a photo of my 11lb 8 at birth son as a new born to send from the hospital if you really want to annoy her!!

Honestly how do you tolerate that? A healthy baby is a healthy baby! Good luck to you. You shouldn't need to worry about others behaviour when pregnant and in labour.

I'd say, "Mum, your fixation on baby weight, and weight in general, isn't normal. I don't want to have any more conversations with you about people's weights. Not my friends' babies' weights. Not my baby's weight. Not my weight. Every time you discuss anyone's weight I am just going to shut down the conversation. Because it's bloody annoying, but more than that, it's actually quite toxic. And just so you know, I'm not going to tell you how much my baby weighs when they are born. So don't ask."

Interesting.

MIl is like this - and was funny about feet size as well.

I actually didn't put weight on in first pg on but she kept on at me about weight - once pfb was born I was actually lighter - but she couldn't stop trying to make out I'd put weight and making comments post birth about what I ate.

They were actually pretty pleased with second baby a boy weighting 10lb - that was a good thing - but then got nasty we weren't constantly weighing him and when we did he was coming down centile charts. Then it switched to height with kids.

I'm not sure hiding weight will help - could try hospital said baby was bang on normal this day and age - with my MIL saying well they were full term babies as Dh wasn't did stop some of it.

If this is your first baby you’ll need to take this as the first stand against her. You need to absolutely refuse to be swayed or judged by her in any way when it comes to weight. Either refuse to talk about your babies weight or be absolutely blunt and sharp with her - ‘my baby is a healthy weight which is all that matters - if you have a comment that is negative or unsupportive about their weight, I don’t want to hear it’. Small babies are not ‘good’ or desirable at all - they are often the result of something not being quite right during their critical growth cycles. What a toxic viewpoint she has.

Mine were both 6 pounds. This was not a good thing. It was because they were both induced 3 weeks early due to pregnancy problems and really needed another 3 or 4 weeks of weight gain in utero. DS particularly was skinny, not like a more usual newborn.

i don’t know if you’ve said how heavy your baby was, but I’d be tempted to tell her that the baby was 9 pounds 10 or something like that and see how she enjoys that.

What a silly woman she is.

I might be strange but a baby's weight is something I couldn't give a fig about. It's the least interesting thing and I've never asked about it. Mum ok, baby ok... that's it.

I wonder who thought up that inane weight question in the first place?

I had a 12 pounder. 😀

This. She’s going to bang on about something irritating regardless. If it were me, I would have to think of something equally irritating/truthful to say back. So when she starts on about baby’s weight just say ‘mum, can you please stop taking your weird food issues out on baby.’ Hopefully she’ll get sick of it

Not really i think it's just something people say
It's like when you ask the what the name is and it's not a name you would have chosen you say oh that lovely even if you don't really mean it.

OP we have had lots of baby announcements recently and about 50% of people haven’t shared weight. I would just leave it off the announcement message but tell everyone who asks except your mum? Easy solution.

It's tragic that there are women like this.

It was a source of pride to my mother that she had six pound babies. The day I came along weighing 5 and a bit was even better.

Maybe if she'd laid off the fags and diet pills for a bit and actually eaten, it would have avoided two of us needing resuscitation and for me, a stay in special care.

My 7 pounder was called massive by her - but was 'expected with how big you are normally' (8 st 4 at the time).

The next one was over 9lb. She didn't want to admit it to her friends and wouldn't hold her because 'I couldn't possibly lift THAT'.

Being teeny tiny is not a desirable trait to make the basis of your entire personality, never mind trying to infect your children and grandchildren lives with it.