to not want to announce my baby’s weight

That's really weird of her. I had a 9lb baby 30 years ago and, yes he was big, but it wasn't my fault or his, nor was it a bad thing. Seems to me like an odd idiosyncrasy of your mums, best ignored. People will ask the weight and you'll draw more attention refusing to say. Just tell your mum it's a healthy weight so please stop commenting?

I had a big baby (11lbs) and was a bit ashamed of it. I don't know why and it took a while to unpick. I guess being a child of the 80s/90s being small and petite and thin was a big deal (I was not those things).

That said, the second he arrived I knew he was utter perfection (and still absolutely tiny as humans go!) and I loved every molecule of him.

I'd be firm with your mum, just tell her she's being weird, no one cares about weight except for health reasons and she needs to stop going on about it.

I think that's fine! I didn't share the weight of my baby in most announcements this time round, she was perfectly average and it just didn't occur to me tbh. Nobody asked. It's fine to omit that info but if your mum asks just respond breezily rather than making a thing of it. The weirdness is all hers.

I sympathise. I had a weird experience with my first (who was 6lb and has continued to be the smaller end of normal)... We were at the first birthday of a fellow NCT baby and this baby's grandfather congratulated me on her smallness. Quote, "ah, we like a petite girl". Absolutely bats. Such a toxic and boring worldview. And besides it has absolutely no bearing on whether she'll be a gossamer adult one day.

Yes I think it's some kind of retrograde, dated insinuation that smaller / lighter babies are clearly cute & beautiful, whereas the mother has clearly failed if she gives birth to a ugly heavier baby. Clearly a failure for her and something for other bitchy women to grab onto.

Sort of reminds me of how it's usually women who make a big deal out of feet size, a topic which needs its own thread really.

''Oh you're a size SEVEN are you?? My my!! That IS large ISN'T IT? Well my feet are so small that I sometimes shop in the child's section!'

She seems to think that heavier babies are somehow uncouth and something to passively aggressively mock the mother for, like a weird status thing.

Don't tell her. You'll know you'll regret it. Lie if you want.

You could just tell her the baby weighed 6lb 2 but tbh OP you are going to be listening to this bullshit after the birth too.... Anyone that determined to squeeze themselves into jeans the day after giving birth just to prove some weird point to themselves that they are a 'sucess' is never going to be able to be rational about weight without a lot of counselling imo
I think you are going to have to be very blunt to the point of an ultimatum that she cannot ever discuss weight, size, food types or portions about or around your child or contact will have to be limited. She has a choice in her behaviour, if her views are more important than a relationship with her child and gc that's on her, you have to protect your child

just lie

Go in hard and tell her that you won't confirm baby's weight if she's gonna bang on about it.

She won't change her ridiculous stance but at least she'll know you think she is being stupid.

OMG OP my MIL is the exact same and it’s so bloody weird! Any baby over about 7 and a half pounds is called a ‘whopper’ and god forbid they’re 8lb+ they’re considered grotesque. Honestly it’s the most bizarre thing and she also constantly asks for babies weights if we tell her friends or family have had babies. Some people are so weird!

I had a huge baby and now hes 6 and super skinny , hes literally in 4-5 clothes even though hes nearly 7 because he's so skinny. Birth weight means nothing so shes silly.

The weight seems awfully irrelevant and inappropriate. You wouldn’t ask an adult what they weighed. And also completely meaningless unless you were the one who gave birth.

I sometimes do baby cross stitch samplers and leave it off even though lots of the pattens use it.

Take the piss?
Tell her the weight and then say but don't worry, I've signed baby up to junior ww and they'll be back to their 12 week weight in no time, fear not.

Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

I sense a deep and justified anxiety and can see there is a lot of history here.

This is a wonderful time in your life and I hope that as far as you are able (and it won’t be easy), you can ignore your toxic mother and not let her put a dampener on the birth of your child.

She clearly has major problems with eating and body image and damaged your own childhood. You’ve done so well to overcome great challenges and move past that and soon you’re going to have your own little family.

I wouldn’t let anyone this toxic havd too much time with my family and she will pay the price of her terrible behaviour by not seeing her grandchildren as much as she might have, because you will I’m sure protect your child from the damaging behaviour she has.

Wishing you well 💐

Jesus I don't even think I know eactly what my sons weight was... 7 something something... He wasn't thrown back! It's a baby, more specifically your baby, she doesn't have to have any input

How odd. I never really consider babies weights unless they are really big or really small. My babies were huge over 10lb. My friends baby was a tiny 5lb9. I was scared I’d break him when I was used to such chunky things. Your mum is weird. I’d much rather have a big baby than a tiny one

Btw since my mother was 7lb 4, I was 7lb 4 and DS was 7lb 4 (despite him being a week early), I'm of the opinion there's a genetic thing going on here. Apparently it's related to the baby's maternal grandmother.

In other words if that's the case, it's her fucking fault not yours.

Just tell her to stop going on about it. It's really boring. Shut her up.

Is she likely to get the kitchen scales out when you're out of the room if you don't tell her?
Honestly unless she's some kind of heartless monster, surely when it comes to her own precious grandchild she won't actually care how much they weigh as long as they are healthy. If she does go on, tell her to stick a cork in it and that you don't want to hear her unhealthy, judgmental opinion as it's irrelevant and offensive. If it pisses you off that much you gotta tell her as it is.

id have a serious conversation with her about commenting on weight- not only at baby stage. Assuming your child spends some time with her, this line of talking/ thinking can be very damaging and cause ED down the line. Make it clear that if she doesn’t rein it in you wouldn’t have your child around her and her harmful mindset around weight.

Over 6lb being a problem is a point of view that's warped. Thus your mother has a fucked up view point as the default.

In the UK:
Boys: Average birth weight is 7 lbs 8 oz (3.4 kg)
Girls: Average birth weight is 7 lbs 4 oz (3.3 kg)

That means 'normal' is a range slightly lower than this to slightly higher.

So deriding anything over 6lbs is both unhealthy and delusional.

You have a Mother problem, now a weight problem.

Ask her why she thinks it's health to have a below average weight baby? See her response.

I would be far more concerned about the long term impact having someone with such a toxic mindset around your DC will have.

Especially if you have a daughter, being exposed to comments like these can be deeply harmful. I would not allow it and I would be looking to go LC if it continued.

100%

I was 4lb something, they said I would likely be quite short

I'm 5ft 10 with huge shoulders

Bizarre she is bothered by a baby being bigger than 6llbs mine was 6 lbs. 9 oz and it’s been stressful as she has had slow weight gain due to reflux. The bigger the better I say, I wish my daughter would chub up.

Ask her what she thinks the best weight is for a baby, then when your baby is born you can give her the right answer. 😁

Seems a bit drama llama - most new parents just share it. 🤷‍♀️