to not want to announce my baby’s weight

Just say:

"Oh I can't remember, between 6 and 8 pounds or something, I wasn't interested in that part, and only bothered about baby being healthy."
Then watch her get really agitated that you don't know.

My mum has this really bizarre obsession that I will have ‘bigger’ babies
my first she guessed at like 8lb 9 and he came out 7lb (I had a small bump too), he dropped to 6.6, and my second again she guessed 8lb 6 and he was an average 7lb 2 but dropped to 6lb 9. Both ended up needing Tiny Baby baby grows and she was shocked. I took it as a personal insult to me cos she thinks I’m massive and always has done when again I’m just average!

New born clothes are 7lbs+
"Tiny baby" are 6lbs.
It's even in the name of the baby clothes

This gives me the ick too!

I have never even thought of it until now. Always announced the size and weight of mine. I do tend to ask because then I know what size outfit to get. Now I will worry that it might be considered inappropriate.
It seems to me odd that your mum thinks that babies of a normal weight are huge. Did she have tiny babies and thought people judged her? Or again maybe she had large ones and was judged? I had one very large one and several strangers commented that I must have over eaten, I was 8 stone when he was born, same as my usual weight. My smallest baby I had the opposite reaction where a couple of people asked me if I had smoked through pregnancy, I was never a smoker.
There is no need to announce weight.Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Beyond all else enjoy that precious baby.

A baby’s weight is only relevant to parents, health visitors and anyone who wishes to buy them clothes.

I don’t blame you that’s absolutely bizarre of your Mum. 6lbs is tiny to me! My two were 8lbs and 7lb 11 and my second always felt so much smaller to me and even my 8lb er didn’t feel large! 7lb 3oz is a perfectly normal size.

And even if you DID have a baby a little on the bigger side it’s odd that she’d be so fixated on it. I’d do what you want. But don’t let her put you off telling people the baby’s weight if you want to. Just set boundaries and put her clearly straight the first time she makes a comment.

Your Mum is weird to care so much about weight but you are a little weird to care about her caring. 😅
It be very odd not to tell people the weight of the baby if they asked.

DM "How much did baby weigh?"

@TeaAndToys "Baby was the perfect weight."

DM "Yes, but exactly how much did she weigh?"

@TeaAndToys "Not an ounce less than she should have been."

DM "Yes, but in pounds and ounces, how heavy was she?"

@TeaAndToys "I already told you, she was the perfect weight for a baby of her size. Please could you make me a cuppa, I've got my hands full, thanks!"

From your title I was ready to say YWBU, but given your DM's obsession with weight, it seems sensible to put in this boundary early on - can you imagine when your DD is 16 "Oh darling, Granny called and wanted to know how much you weigh this week, could you send her a quick text so she can fill in your growth chart?"

Both my boys were 8lb 1. They both still looked tiny.

OP i really feel for you. Logic won't work here - there's no point telling your mum average birth weights or how 6lb is actually really small.

Your mum has an eating disorder, which of course she triggered in you by talking about weight like this. I grew up in a house with similarities - my mum talked about her weight constantly. Every photo of herself she was ever shown she complained about how fat she was. It is still the first thing she says. There's no point asking her not to- it will just pop up later, like your mum.

My mum's mum was a yoyo dieter - my great grandmother was an anorexic. We pass these things down unless we are able to break the cycle.

It is ok to talk about your baby's weight - you need to find a way for your mum's words to wash over you. You can't stop her saying them - you need to change your reaction to them.

I recommend transpersonal psychotherapy if you can manage it.

Did you read the part where the OP said her mum obsessed about food and weight her entire childhood and she ended up with an eating disorder??

The OP doesn’t want this repeated with her own daughter.

Just own it OP. I don't know why you care so much about what your mum thinks. Mine were 8lb which is pretty average and 10lb8oz. My second born was also the second biggest baby born so far that month 20th of the month. I'm 5ft8 with big hips so I can accommodate a big baby. I'm proud of it and I wouldn't let anyone make me feel shame about my beautiful boys.
When your mum had babies they were smaller. Me and me siblings were all 7lb something but just like how kids are getting taller due to better nutrition so babies are getting bigger.

My DS was 11:9 when born and I love seeing how surprised people are.

I also think with him being a boy if I'd had him in medieval times I'd have been the envy of the village - if I'd survived giving birth that is!

Tbf and I'm not getting into a breast versus bottle thread but I did bottle feed him him for various reasons he gained weight rapidly he's 18 now and eats me out of house and home.

I would have been terrified leaving the hospital with a teeny baby. I had zero experience of babies at all nevermind a newborn, never changed a nappy, no idea what I was doing and it was just me and DP with no family support. I was so glad to have a 9lb 1 baby that I felt I could hold safely and not drop! Mind you I was v glad I had no warning what size she was going to be, I'd have freaked out, everyone in the room was taken about by the weight and length, dunno where she was hiding in my not-that-big bump

I know, you couldn't get much more average (and compared to most 15 year olds I work with now, I'm a lot shorter). But to her, I was a monster compared to the female line of teeny tinies where 5 foot with size 3 heels on was the tallest any of them had ever got to.

Is she aware that having a low birth weight baby could reflect that the mother has had health problems in pregnancy or is associated with many problems like baby infections, difficulty feeding, delayed development and increased chance of chronic disease in later life, a significantly increased risk of death within the first year?

I assume she doesn’t, otherwise who would wish these things on their own grandchild or their pregnant daughter purely for their own vanity.

this is her issue not yours, don’t let her insecurities affect your pregnancy. I’m sure your baby will be perfect whatever they weigh.

You don’t need her to change her mind or have a moment of introspection, though. You just need her to stop it. So, tell her, directly, to please stop it.

I get that family relationships are complex and communication is often nuanced. But, sometimes, you do need to forthright with regards to what you do not find acceptable. This is clearly really upsetting you, so this is one of those times.

On the flip side my ds1 waa 5lb14oz at 41 weeks no reason just petite I was paranoid about him being so small!

Your mum is weird

Why not just lie?

Tell her the baby is 7llb

@NeverDropYourMooncup 5'5 is still within average. I don't think that's tall enough to qualify for tall women sizing in shops actually.

Your mum would make me angry. She should have been supportive and not disdainful of characteristics you were born with. After all....she and your father gave them to you!!

Same subset in my experience. After being the coveted SCBU baby, she was most disappointed - actually, absolutely bloody furious have my early promise - to find that I was so insolent as to grow both taller (5'5") and to have 'horrible fat man hands and feet'.

If you'd heard her describe me as a 15 year old, you'd have been expecting some kind of behemoth to come lumbering in, grabbing the teeniest, tiniest person in the room (her) and climbing up the Crystal Palace Tower to fight off biplanes.

What you got was a perfectly normal teenager who slouched because she was so incredibly tall 🙄but stubbornly wore DMs rather than follow her demands to 'just wear tighter shoes and that'll make your feet smaller' because cheap rate foot binding was not on her list of idiotic things to do with her life.

Yes, a big baby for sure__

It’s sad that you feel this way, but yanbu, some women project their own bodily insecurities onto their children and it’s sad.

One of my friends has a little girl that is one and one of her other friends had a little boy at around the same time. She LOVES to show me photos of the two babies next to each other and exclaim how ENORMOUS the little boy is, and how he’s TWICE THE SIZE of her ‘petite’ baby.

It’s very, very annoying.

Measure baby’s length. When asked how much baby weighed, tell her “S/he was Xcm long.”

When mum persists in asking weight, reply that length is a much more important measurement because of… whatever reasons you care to give.

I might even have head circumference as a back-up fact.