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Original poster

How do people manage with multiple children?

81 replies

Hungrychocolate · 16/02/2025 10:10

I feel I am very stressed over this weekend. I have a 4 months old baby and a 3 year old DS. The toddler goes to preschool 5 days a week using the funded 30 hours and I am on maternity leave.

H works from home all the days and I am doing looking after for DC after preschool and holidays. His preschool is term time only. I feel constantly stressed over the weekends when everyone is home. Toddler doesn't seems to listen to what we ask of him, things like wear your trousers, wear your socks, eat your food. It's hit and miss. H starts yelling as he gets annoyed why DS is not listening. Then DS starts to cry and it's a constant loop I am stuck in. Toddler has also been going through some viral infections and baby has got cold as well, not sleeping well recently. I am tired and exhausted of this constant loop of toddler not listening and following, H yelling and toddler crying. It's a nightmare.
On top of this there are so many household chores which H does picks things like laundry and loading dishwasher etc. Baby is breastfed so she's mostly with me, there's no me-time for now until I go back to work. I dread to think about how will I cope with all this when I go back to work. Is there anything anyone can suggest which I can do to improve our lives.

OP posts:
NewYou42 · 16/02/2025 10:17

I hated and loathed the younger years. How people say these were the best years and enjoyed it is just unimaginable to me. I literally wished those years away waiting for them to grow up. It is so hard. My kids had endless issues, Velcro babies and then toddlers, cried a lot, could never occupy themselves for a second. When they started school was when life became bearable again. Sorry op, you have my sympathy.

LilacLilias · 16/02/2025 10:16

It is hard especially in the early part when your baby is so small. That's exhausting even if you have 1.

To me what stands out here is your DH yelling at DS. At 3 he can't be expected to follow instructions perfectly and do as he says all the time. He's a little boy who wants to play and learn, not a robot.

I think your DH really needs to do some reading around how to parent a child of this age or potentially get some help with his anger.

Everyone gets frustrated but the way you describe this makes me feel like he is taking out his anger on DS too much. His anger isn't DS problem - he needs to manage his own emotions and teach DS to do the same.

Overthebow · 16/02/2025 10:13

It’s hard. We have a 4 year old and a 1 year old and no family help. All I can suggest is throw money at it, both DCs in nursery for all hours that you work. Share the pick ups and drop offs. Have a lie in each at the weekend and take it in turns to have some time off.

Original poster
Hungrychocolate · 16/02/2025 10:13

Also, wanted to add H talks to toddler calmly several times but he gets annoyed when toddler doesn't listens after telling him things 5 times. Preschool says he listens fine there and definitely toddler has no issues hearing as he listens fine to the things he likes.

OP posts:
PinkPonyClub25 · 16/02/2025 10:13

He's 3 years old, you're expecting to much of him! He's going to test the boundaries at that age it's normal.

You need to stop shouting at him, he's 3 not school aged!

Original poster
Hungrychocolate · 16/02/2025 10:11

I will need to go back to work as it's a good role and I want to earn money and there's a good career path ahead.

OP posts: