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Original poster

Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

263 replies

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

OP posts:
IntermittentStream · 17/02/2025 09:14

PonyPatter44 · 17/02/2025 09:07

It does sound a bit...joyless to me, but i love a party, a bit of socialising and some dancing. Will there be no music at all? If there is music, wont people want to dance a bit?

But a lot of peiole love eating and socialising, but not dancing. I mean, apart from anything else, I can dance any time, if I like dancing, but catching up with old friends or relatives I see seldom is much more occasion-dependent.

TriangleLight · 17/02/2025 09:14

user2848502016 · 16/02/2025 12:53

The plan should be specified on the invitations too - like put reception 3-7pm for example so people know to plan that there won't be an evening do or late finish. If i was invited I would not bother drinking so I could drive home after dinner

I think this is will happen, which doesn’t sound the most fun

PonyPatter44 · 17/02/2025 09:07

It does sound a bit...joyless to me, but i love a party, a bit of socialising and some dancing. Will there be no music at all? If there is music, wont people want to dance a bit?

Convolvulus · 17/02/2025 09:02

I thought it was probably OP's wedding. Having effectively got the go-ahead, she's now busy steaming ahead and planning it all.

McSpoot · 17/02/2025 00:43

Given that they've not bothered coming back, I'm guessing that the OP is a guest at such a wedding and was hoping for outrage on his/her behalf but didn't get it.

navigatinglifewithteenagers · 17/02/2025 00:00

Perhaps the invite should set the scene, ie it's a ceremony followed by a small intimate evening(?) meal.

Then the guests can decide whether or not they come.

UnpropitiousNightmares · 16/02/2025 23:52

My Partner and I would be absolutely delighted with such an invitation!

user2848502016 · 16/02/2025 12:53

The plan should be specified on the invitations too - like put reception 3-7pm for example so people know to plan that there won't be an evening do or late finish. If i was invited I would not bother drinking so I could drive home after dinner

user2848502016 · 16/02/2025 12:51

It includes a meal afterwards and nobody is travelling very far - an hour is nothing. So no I don't think it's unreasonable if that's what the bride and groom want.
Just to say though I went to a wedding like this (they didn't even have speeches or toasts) and it was extremely boring!

AppropriateAdult · 16/02/2025 12:29

This sounds like a lovely day out. A relative of mine is planning a similar wedding later this year and people are travelling across the Atlantic for it - I don't think many people would object to driving an hour!

WaltzingWaters · 16/02/2025 11:53

As long as you make it clear from the start what the plan is it’s absolutely fine. I’d be more than happy to drive an hour or so for what you’ve described. But I would just drive home afterwards and not drink. I’d be a little annoyed if I hadn’t known the whole plan and had arranged overnight childcare and/or to stay the night in a hotel thinking I’d be drinking and dancing the night away.

Devon24 · 16/02/2025 11:24
  • all about the detail, intimacy and tablescapes etc. you can make people feel very special when things are on a smaller scale.
Devon24 · 16/02/2025 11:23

I agree with the other posters, that this a party. A party does not have to consist of the same formula as every other wedding. A party is a gathering, a celebration. Micro weddings are all the rage now. It’s all about the detail, the intimacy and the detail. Not everything has to be big and brash to be memorable. Certainly not.

Travellingwithacarpetbag · 16/02/2025 11:13

ErrolTheDragon · 16/02/2025 00:14

Just the reception and socialising is fine. Tbh I (and probably a lot of people) honestly prefer this rather than trying to have conversations over a DJ and loud music.

I agree. It’s so annoying to meet people you haven’t seen for ages but be unable to talk without shrieking in their ear because of the LOUD music. And it happens at weddings at the time!

Unredchat · 16/02/2025 11:10

Kitchensinktoday · 16/02/2025 10:39

OP, i think you have a fairly clear consensus now. Are you going to reveal if you’re the bride or a guest????

Suspect OP is the guest and is a bit disgruntled! I'm not sure a bride would describe her own reception on her special day as "very basic".

Phineyj · 16/02/2025 10:57

I'd enjoy that. Shouting over music is so crap for a lot of older (maybe deafer) people!

RampantIvy · 16/02/2025 10:49

Codlingmoths · 16/02/2025 10:27

I suppose i don’t understand why you want to make people travel for something ‘very basic’. Couldn’t you just find very basic closer to home?

I wouldn't class an hour as "travelling" to a wedding. Sometimes my commute takes that long.

Catza · 16/02/2025 10:46

I do an hour travelling just to go to work. It's not like people are asked to fly to Bahamas for an afternoon.

ButIToldYouSoooo · 16/02/2025 10:44

I think it sounds lovely, tbh

Kitchensinktoday · 16/02/2025 10:39

OP, i think you have a fairly clear consensus now. Are you going to reveal if you’re the bride or a guest????

SuziQuinto · 16/02/2025 10:38

JMSA · 16/02/2025 10:37

Sounds fine to me. Maybe not the most memorable, but perfectly acceptable and I would attend if available.

Why wouldn't it be memorable?

JMSA · 16/02/2025 10:37

Sounds fine to me. Maybe not the most memorable, but perfectly acceptable and I would attend if available.

TwinklyNight · 16/02/2025 10:35

Don't think so unless the couple were our own kids. Be more likely to go if the resturant was near the reg. office.
Wouldn't mind the no party part or the hour drive there, if that 30 min.to resturant wasnt happening.

Defender90 · 16/02/2025 10:33

Yes, we travelled from Scotland to London for a wedding just like that, it was a lovely day and we made a weekend of it.

ChristmasFluff · 16/02/2025 10:32

I've travelled/overnighted to two weddings like this - both registry office and then on to a pub for a meal. One was a meal in a back room for about 30 people and then everyone moved into the pub in the evening to carry on socialising. The other was an exclusive hire of a small pub for about 100 guests and there was a buffet and jukebox and so eventually there was some dancing for those who wanted it.

Really enjoyed both.

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