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Original poster

Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

263 replies

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

OP posts:
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TwinklyNight · 24/02/2025 21:35

TwinklyNight · 16/02/2025 10:35

Don't think so unless the couple were our own kids. Be more likely to go if the resturant was near the reg. office.
Wouldn't mind the no party part or the hour drive there, if that 30 min.to resturant wasnt happening.

I guess an hour driving to a restaurant is better than 2-3 hours waiting for wedding photos to be taken.

MrsMe1978 · 18/02/2025 11:25

That’s exactly how our wedding was, registry office then meal at hotel and in the hotel bar afterwards, no free bar, night do, buffet, DJ etc.
family from both sides travelled, as DH and I were living in an area neither of us is from. It was a lovely day.

purplecorkheart · 18/02/2025 10:58

Sounds like a great wedding to me. I normally disappear at weddings when the music starts. It is normally too loud to chat. I don't think an hour is too long to travel

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/02/2025 10:54

So @inspector80 are you bride or guest

edited for spelling

Mere1 · 18/02/2025 08:34

ErrolTheDragon · 16/02/2025 00:14

Just the reception and socialising is fine. Tbh I (and probably a lot of people) honestly prefer this rather than trying to have conversations over a DJ and loud music.

Maybe a few old family/friends pics dotted around, or on tables. That gets conversation, and laughter, going.

ThinkingAboutMyLifeChoices · 17/02/2025 23:22

Sounds perfect
A chance for people to catch up and have conversations
Nothing worse than shouting over music and an empty dancefloor (which has happened to a couple of weddings I've attended)
Even worse for one bride and groom, they asked the DJ to stop and start packing up at 9-30 as all of their guests were in the bar quite happily chatting

dcthatsme · 17/02/2025 22:47

One hour is a very short journey. I think it's fine. People travel more than that distance just for a meal together.

burnoutbabe · 17/02/2025 20:18

My cousins was registry office then a meal at nearby pub. They paid for 2 courses and you brought your own drinks.

So a basic meal (I reckon £15 per head)?but that was fine. We were all done by 2pm and home on sofa by 3. Perfect!

jillycat72 · 17/02/2025 20:13

Sounds lovely to me to be able to talk to people after a meal and no naff DJ or band blaring music 🎶

Yoonimum · 17/02/2025 20:12

Travel times seem OK to me. When you say 'basic' is the reception food enough to count as a meal? This is obviously more than half a day in total so it's not fair for people to be underfed. We didn't have an evening party/disco but were generous with food and booze and had a children's entertainer.

exaltedwombat · 17/02/2025 19:55

Not having to suffer a DJ and dancing makes me want to come even more!

YoNoHeSido77 · 17/02/2025 19:32

I went to a wedding a few years ago. The registry office was an hour and 15m drive away. The ceremony only lasted 20 minutes then a 3 hour wait until the reception which was another 2h drive away.

people were quite annoyed at this, especially the 3 hour wait.

Boope · 17/02/2025 19:02

I had a no party wedding, just the register office that's all. We invited our parents and siblings, that's all.
Your wedding has a reception, it may not be on the scale of modern weddings but it's not a "no party" wedding.

Fencehedge · 17/02/2025 18:59

stanleypops66 · 17/02/2025 18:55

I think the not dancing bit is fine, but how you've written sounds boring. If you'd written 'a beautiful cosy country gastro pub or Michelin star restaurant then a few drinks and a catch up after' then I'd be all over that!

OP was prob more likely to have been written by a disgruntled, entitled guest!

stanleypops66 · 17/02/2025 18:55

I think the not dancing bit is fine, but how you've written sounds boring. If you'd written 'a beautiful cosy country gastro pub or Michelin star restaurant then a few drinks and a catch up after' then I'd be all over that!

Tbry24 · 17/02/2025 18:46

That sounds great I’d be happy going to that. I don’t like the big fancy weddings at all.

Mumoftwoandcats · 17/02/2025 18:44

Sounds great to me, a meal and socialising, with no intrusive DJ, people can actually chat and discuss the ceremony etc. I’d be happy to travel an hour or so, and/or stay over. Hope you enjoy it, whether you’re the guest or the bride.

Anonym00se · 17/02/2025 18:41

I much prefer weddings that don’t fall into the same boring formulaic routine. This sounds perfect to me. I would rather sit and drink and chat with just low background music than have a disco so loud that you can’t talk to the people around you.

JT12 · 17/02/2025 18:25

An hour or less is not traveling in my opinion. Traveling is 2 hours plus. I wouldn't think twice of driving 1/2 hour - 90 mins for a wedding. I would do it to meet friends for brunch or coffee. Its totally acceptable

Emonade · 17/02/2025 18:24

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

This is exactly the wedding we are having and my partners family are travelling from Devon for it, i think it’s nice it doesn’t have to be a big do loads of people dont enjoy that anyway

LazyArsedMagician · 17/02/2025 18:21

We did this for our wedding.

Guests were free to decline.

An hour is hardly 'travelling'; sometimes it takes me longer than that to get to work!

ChoChang1 · 17/02/2025 18:04

I went to a wedding that was ceremony, then no meal and hang about til reception. I’d much rather your way - at least you’re feeding! Sounds good to me. I’d put an end time on the invite e.g. 7pm to make it obvious there’s no party.

RitaFromTheRanch · 17/02/2025 10:28

You're the bride. Do what you like.

blobby10 · 17/02/2025 09:36

Sounds like a standard wedding before all the day guests/night guests malarkey started! I got married early 1990s and we had relations driving 2-3 hours for a church ceremony then formal seated meal before we headed off on honeymoon and the guests departed. Ceremony was at noon, we left at 7pm. with hindsight we could have looked after the guests a lot better than we did but as I was the first one to get married and hadn't been to any other weddings it wasn't something that occurred to us.

Itisbetter · 17/02/2025 09:17

This is an absolutely standard wedding in my circle. Some people do have dancing/music in the evening but it’s not expected. I would also travel an hour to go out to dinner without fuss so obviously would be happy to do that for someone’s wedding. I don’t see any problem with this at all.

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