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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think having people live above you is awful

109 replies

2025ohdear · 15/02/2025 21:07

I'm hoping people say IABU and I'm overthinking

I live in London and every place I've lived there have been noisy people living above me. Music, heavy footsteps on wooden floors, parties. I think I'm now tuned into it and overly sensitive.

Here is my dilemma. I have the opportunity to buy a flat. It's beautiful, in a nice area, walk-in condition but it's on the ground floor. It has a main door and access to small private garden. An absolute find. I can't afford a house and only going for top floor flats is limiting.

Any advice? Anyone got people above them and all fine?

OP posts:
JHound · 16/02/2025 18:17

I live in an apartment with people above me and it’s great. No noise. Good sound proofing (I cannot even hear my loud door buzzer from
the bedroom.)

I cannot even hear very muffled sounds but that’s it. And I only hear that when sitting in silence in my apartment. I am also the Ground Floor right next to the entrance and it’s fine.

But if you are ultra sensitive to noise, apartment living may not be for you.

Dingbats25 · 16/02/2025 18:14

I lived in a basement flat and had issues with one upstairs neighbour who seemingly was up and stomping around from 5am then never seemed to be in bed until midnight. There were lots of tears as it disturbed my sleep much. I ended up getting used to it… it was a rental so occupancy changed a lot. Next up was someone in bed a lot and there was a noticeably huge improvement in the noise levels. He lived there until I moved and i forget how bad it was with the stomper. I probably wouldn’t live somewhere with someone living above me again, it feels too risky. Of course, we don’t always have a choice… but I wouldn’t choose to as the impact in your life with a stomper above you is significant.

Aqz · 16/02/2025 18:11

I live in an old house and my daughter paces in her bedroom above my preferred sitting room.....check out the noise level carefully.

I would bring someone with me and ask them to knock on the door above to ask can you check it out.

Its too important to leave to chance.
Being at the mercy of others reasonable activity is no way to live.

CestLaVie123 · 16/02/2025 18:08

After a few times living with people above me, I switched to top-floor only. People below and at the sides can be awful too, but above is the worst I find

JenniferBooth · 16/02/2025 18:06

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 16/02/2025 17:57

It applies to any flat with a door that opens onto an internal communal area, regardless of what floor it's on or whether it's a conversion or not.

Which is why it will become even more of a struggle to sell flats People dont want all the extra costs

ColourBlueColourPurple · 16/02/2025 18:01

I've always lived in flats. People used to be a lot more considerate of others though, ie no hoovering/washing machine/other noisy things past 8pm. We were also always told to keep it down as kids, no thumping around on the floor/someone else's ceiling, carpets down to try and dampen down any noise. Now a lot people don't seem to care about the noise they make and how it disturbs others.

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 16/02/2025 17:57

Fencehedge · 16/02/2025 17:39

Thank you. Not sure why irrelevent doors are being discussed in this thread at all, OP said quite quickly it's a Victorian garden flat, converted house. Oh well.

Edited

It applies to any flat with a door that opens onto an internal communal area, regardless of what floor it's on or whether it's a conversion or not.

Fencehedge · 16/02/2025 17:55

RestlessMillennial · 16/02/2025 17:53

I agree with OP and as a result I will only go for top floor no matter what.

Unless they have flowers in their windows, which makes it ok, apparently 😂

RestlessMillennial · 16/02/2025 17:53

I agree with OP and as a result I will only go for top floor no matter what.

Fencehedge · 16/02/2025 17:39

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 16/02/2025 17:29

There is no problem with the doors in the photo you've posted as they lead onto the street. The new fire door regulations apply to front doors that open onto internal communal areas within blocks of flats, e.g. a corridor or a stairway.

Thank you. Not sure why irrelevent doors are being discussed in this thread at all, OP said quite quickly it's a Victorian garden flat, converted house. Oh well.

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 16/02/2025 17:29

Fencehedge · 16/02/2025 16:20

What are you going on about? Why would these doors be a problem?

There is no problem with the doors in the photo you've posted as they lead onto the street. The new fire door regulations apply to front doors that open onto internal communal areas within blocks of flats, e.g. a corridor or a stairway.

Fencehedge · 16/02/2025 16:20

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 16/02/2025 16:14

I’d be very surprised if they weren’t required to make adjustments to the existing front doors at the very least. Assuming they’ve actually been inspected. If they aren’t being inspected then the Responsible Person could get into a lot of trouble in the event of a fire.

What are you going on about? Why would these doors be a problem?

To think having people live above you is awful
TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 16/02/2025 16:14

RogueFemale · 16/02/2025 00:56

I mean that I still have a lot of friends with flats in London, in mostly 19th century buildings, and not a single one of them has been required to change their front door.

I’d be very surprised if they weren’t required to make adjustments to the existing front doors at the very least. Assuming they’ve actually been inspected. If they aren’t being inspected then the Responsible Person could get into a lot of trouble in the event of a fire.

KateTrain · 16/02/2025 16:12

I have lived in new build flat with neighbours above and it was such a dark time in my life! Washing machine spinning at all hours, footsteps banging across my bedroom, even knowing when they've used the loo as it would flush through the down pipe in the walls. Hearing them cough or sneeze, or argue. Awful experience. I felt like I was living with them.

I have also lived in a top floor Victorian conversion and didn't hear any noise from below then. But could somehow smell cooking smells and cigarette smells filtering through from the flat below. Which was almost as bad.

I would never live in a flat again - just felt I couldn't read this without sharing my experience

LimeLime · 16/02/2025 16:02

I've had a mixed bunch of upstairs neighbours in the last 35 years. From a virtually silent old lady to constantly changing crowds of airbnb tourists who clattered around the flat, vastly over occupied it, and shrieked on the stair. Fortunately covid put an end to that. Since then there has been a very quiet middle aged gent and long may he stay!

Fencehedge · 16/02/2025 15:34

2025ohdear · 16/02/2025 14:52

Went to see it. It's amazing. All wooden floors, massive storage, fireplaces in every room. Upstairs have bunches of flowers in their windowsill, which I'm going to use as an omen of niceness.

So, going to make a bid

Good luck. Hope they're nice, quiet and never move out. I would knock on their door and ask them how the soundproofing is before offering.

Bloom15 · 16/02/2025 15:31

I used to live in a ground floor house (converted house). As annoying as people upstairs were it was nothing compared to people slamming the front door all day and night. It drove me to distraction

JenniferBooth · 16/02/2025 15:21

spikefaithbuffy · 16/02/2025 01:11

Funny you say that as a guy came round my apartment the other month and asked me to open my front door to check it and asked if it had ever had a (whatever those things are called at the top, the metal bits....)
Never happened before and I've been here 18 years!

On noise, mine is purpose built and I hear very little from upstairs

ours has the self closer on the top and self closes straight away. Also fire retardent letter box. Still not good enough Still has to be replaced.

JenniferBooth · 16/02/2025 15:17

RogueFemale · 16/02/2025 00:56

I mean that I still have a lot of friends with flats in London, in mostly 19th century buildings, and not a single one of them has been required to change their front door.

Which proves the point ive been making. Its about £££££££ not safety.

JenniferBooth · 16/02/2025 15:14

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 16/02/2025 00:32

You don’t necessarily have to pay for a new door but you do have to pay for adjustments at least. It’s happening in my block now. Everyone paid to have them adjusted after an assessment in 2023, everyone failed in 2024 and we are now all having to pay again.

@RogueFemale Told ya so!!

The ££££££££ health and safety exploitation industry.

WigglyVonWaggly · 16/02/2025 15:01

I’ve lived above people twice and both times they complained about noise - just the noise of walking about in slippers. Similarly, I lived below someone and the noise drove me mad - walking about, dining chairs being pulled out etc etc. I could even hear sockets being used in the walls and cutlery being dragged on plates. I lasted five months then moved out - luckily it was a 6 month rental. A friend bought a flat which was a Victorian house conversion and the noise from above made her move out. However, in some flats which are purpose built, they are soundproofed and you don’t hear anything. I think the main issue is houses converted into two flats.

2025ohdear · 16/02/2025 14:52

Went to see it. It's amazing. All wooden floors, massive storage, fireplaces in every room. Upstairs have bunches of flowers in their windowsill, which I'm going to use as an omen of niceness.

So, going to make a bid

OP posts:
MsCactus · 16/02/2025 06:53

We live in London suburbs in a detached house now and it's amazing! 30 minutes commute to work too.

Any chance you could move out and not get a flat if neighbour noise is important to you? I think you'll always get noises with flats - I hate it, always made me feel hemmed in.

FancyNewt · 16/02/2025 06:41

I couldn't live in a flat now unless it was the top floor but I am very noise sensitive.

oakleaffy · 16/02/2025 06:16

2025ohdear · 15/02/2025 21:28

Oh thank you. I'm just clinging to hope as it's such a great flat

Why is it cheap?

This would be my concern.

Noise could be a reason.