Child ear piercing gone wrong - help me with what to say

My goodness me, what is with the pile on for the poor OP?

I know the consensus is to get piercings done with a sterile needle at a reputable piercing/tattoo place these days but I had mine done at Claire's with a gun whilst I was at primary school and it was fine - both ears still pierced, still have both ears! Claire's still offer its piercing service so people must be using it? £68 is so expensive though!

Also OP's DD is primary school aged and it's getting her ears pierced, sounds like she is quite capable of consenting especially if she is used to needles and blood draws etc, it can be a little painful yes but she is hardly consenting to severe GBH.

I remember when a uni friend's nose piercing fell out and we couldn't get it back in - her howling was far far worse than that of OP's DD I guarantee it

People on here can be wonderful but some posters are so odd and some views are so entrenched.

Ask for refund OP and hope your DD can enjoy lovely earrings at some point in the future if she would still like them.

You're being absolutely ridiculous, so I'm surprised your child is being melodramatic. She's 8, not 3.
When having body modifications for your children, it really is best to have done your homework, but clearly you haven't, so here we are.
Just email the head office, outlining what you have said here.
Any other advice will probably fall flat.

I would take them both out, let them heal and start over. If unsure, speak to a reputable piercing studio (often tattoo studio) for advice. They can tell you how long to wait for healing. Then have a proper piercer do them - it’ll be with a needle and if the piercer is any good, it’ll be less painful (if she even feels it) and you will get proper aftercare advice too. Don’t let Claire’s touch your DD’s ears again. They have no more expertise than if you bought a cheap piercing kit off Amazon and did it yourself.

Can't say it has mine either although maybe getting her ears pierced at 6 in a tattoo shop was the catalyst for my 8 year old becoming a drugs runner. Either that or the ultra processed foods I feed her, or maybe even the screen time I allow her to have 🤣

This is a bit OTT, and I’d personally just tell my daughter these things happen and it’s no biggie rather than all this catastrophic drama. Also, I would personally put my own sanitised pure gold earring (thinnest one I could find) straight into that ear to avoid re-piercing.

Yes, I think they'd just come in.

Mine were done at age 7.
My dd hasn't shown an interest in getting hers done and is now 21 years old

And that’s totally ok for you and your family.

My daughter begged and begged and I didn’t have any good reason to explain why some of her friends had pierced ears, and her mum and aunties (and uncle!) and all their friends had pierced ears and she wasn’t allowed.

I had arbitrarily decided she could have it done before secondary school because that’s when I had it done, but when she probed why, I didn’t have an answer.

She wanted it done, I don’t have an issue with piercings in general, so it came down to making sure she was mature enough to handle the aftercare and that I could find a studio who I trusted to do a good job. Once I was satisfied with that, we went and got it done.

It wasn’t a factor at the time, but looking back, I believe that putting her in a situation where she has to think carefully about doing something that will be (briefly) painful and asked to give consent herself - I was not allowed to consent on her behalf beyond the usual age/ parental responsibility checks - is important.

The piercer talked to her, not me, and asked her consent at every step of the way - I’ve had less careful handling of consent for smear tests - and made it very clear to me that if at any time she wanted to stop, that would be it.

She had a low key, low pressure example that not even her mum can consent to something happening to her body - it is her decision alone.

I think that’s a much more important lesson in consent than blithely sticking an age on it.

I would remove them both. Allow them to heal and then have a word with yourself for piercing a child. Let her decide herself when she is 16 and capable of dealing with herself.

poor girl.

@formula3 my local tattoo place will do lobe piercings from age 8 with parental consent. They use a needle so there is less trauma to the ear

@Organically Totally I do agree with a lot of what you've said. I just cannot get on board with body modifications on kids (however old, whatever sort).

And ask for a full refund.

@formula3 Shes only 8 though. An 8yo isnt able to give informed consent. Ultimately its up to you as the parent to make decisions for her based on your knowledge/experience.

Of course they are. Agree with banning piercings on babies and toddlers, but my child was entirely capable of knowing what she wanted at 8 and understanding the reasons we denied certain things.

Getting pierced hurts - of course they need to be brave. I had to be brave to get some new piercings and my tattoos as an adult.

We do plenty of things that are unnecessary and require bravery. Climbing difficult trees, going down water slides or on rollercoasters. Finding something scary and doing it anyway is how children become brave and resilient adults.

No one is forcing this 8 year old to get pierced, she wants it. 8 is plenty old enough to decide something like that - and if they change their minds later, it’s as simple as taking out the earrings.

This is not irreversible body modification, it’s a fucking earring.

I took her to a reputable piercing studio and it has been fine, apart from a few lost backs.

What kind of backs were they?

@JasperTheDoll my sister took my dd to get her ears pierced at age 6 or 7, possibly at Claire's I don't remember, my sister is a social worker 🤣

I got mine done at age 2, over 40 years ago, I didn't sleep around as a teenager, I'm not sure a bit of metal in my ears has had much impact on my life other than my love for shiny diamonds!

I would contact Claires Accessories and insist on a full refund. Then Id let dds ears heal and leave the whole idea well alone until shes 16+ A child isnt able to give informed consent about a decision of that nature.
Children shouldnt need to be "brave" so that they can experience something totally unnecessary.

How you have been hounded on here is ridiculous.
Earrings are fine at 8.
Some of my friends at primary school had little sparkly studs and I was so jealous!
It’s not like you are allowing her a full face tattoo.

Only on Mumsnet can another woman extrapolate so massively and think allowing an 7 year old earrings is condoning her “sleeping around “ as a teenager.
Utterly bonkers.
😝
Millions of children get their ears pierced.

I went without telling parents to a local jewellers who pierced with a needle and gold ring sleepers in school lunch hour having saved up my paper round money that I had in the post office account- I first has sex at 20 with my husband. Loose earrings don’t equate to loose morals!🧐

Sorry, missed that. But 8 is a bit young for piercing ears - unless there is a cultural reason?