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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That I seem to have a lot of downtime

119 replies

Verlaine · 15/02/2025 16:34

I’m a single (co) parent to a 10 yr old. I have a LOT of spare time, and I don’t really get why when everyone else constantly talks about no time to themselves, to sit down etc

For instance, today I got up about 10 and then most of the day I have just chilled with a light bit of tidying/ cleaning which took 30 mins max.

I'm not being facetious, I keep really worrying that there’s things other people do that I’m not doing. There must be as ‘having no time’ is the number one issue people say they have.

What am I missing?

OP posts:
Lou205 · 15/02/2025 16:48

I think having one child is very, very different to having 2 or more, especially if they are younger.

Original poster
Verlaine · 15/02/2025 16:48

You’re a part time parent to a tween, easy

well I’m pretty sure I’m a full time parent thanks.

Ok, if it’s only those with younger kids that say that - not what I thought 🤷🏼

OP posts:
Sunnysideup999 · 15/02/2025 16:47

lnks · 15/02/2025 16:38

So why have you been sat down all day rather than doing things with him?

Show quote history

This.
most people are taking their kids to a sport, swimming, helping with homework, taking them to a party and back, going for lunch with them and a friend, day out with them etc.
not many parents sit at home with a 10 year old.
not critiquing - but I think is where the difference is!

ICanTellYouMissMe · 15/02/2025 16:47

WatchingTheClowns · 15/02/2025 16:43

You got up at 10. Did your child see to his/her own breakfast? You didn't think to go anywhere or do anything with your kid?

Kids do not need to be entertained every single weekend day. Sometimes a day of chill is exactly what's needed.

Iwishiwasapolarbear · 15/02/2025 16:45

Only one child who’s 10 is quite easy. I suppose you could have done a few things with your dc like taken them out for a walk/bike ride/park etc and that would have filled your day a bit. Then maybe a game/homework/film. If you don’t do a deep clean or any washing then you’re not going to have a day jam packed with chores either. I don’t really get why you’re so puzzled. It’s not like you’re a single parent to 3 under 5

Wibblywobblybobbly · 15/02/2025 16:44

Has your child been un front of a screen for a lot of the day? If so that explains ir.

JoeySchoolOfActing · 15/02/2025 16:44

You're missing that other people have different life circumstances.

Enjoy your spare time.

WatchingTheClowns · 15/02/2025 16:43

You got up at 10. Did your child see to his/her own breakfast? You didn't think to go anywhere or do anything with your kid?

Dontlletmedownbruce · 15/02/2025 16:42

You aren't missing anything. Some people have busier lives. I had a weekend alone with DS2 recently and I couldn't believe how chilled it was. He only has one weekend activity. Normal family life involves his 2 very sporty active siblings and we are always on the go. I have a friend with 1 13 year old and she has a very relaxing life. She also has no parents alive or any siblings so no family stuff either. dH and I are often visiting our parents or having family over so it fills a lot of time too. I genuinely don't have time for hobbies just a few bits of exercise during the week.

lnks · 15/02/2025 16:41

Threads like these are only ever designed to cause a bun fight. It's a subtle dig concealed as confusion or puzzlement.

Lookingforwardto2025 · 15/02/2025 16:40

I think one child over the age of 6 is pretty easy really. I have 9yo DS and have plenty of leisure time. My friends with multiple DC, even older DC are much busier. There are more activities to take DC to, more housework etc. They also seem to spend quite a bit of time dealing with disputes between their DC.

lnks · 15/02/2025 16:38

Verlaine · 15/02/2025 16:37

No, my child is here!

So why have you been sat down all day rather than doing things with him?

Pinkpillow7 · 15/02/2025 16:38

You’re a part time parent to a tween, easy

Lionred · 15/02/2025 16:37

I suppose it depends on circumstances. Some people’s children live with them full time, have more than one child, younger children who need more active parenting than a 10 year old, some people don’t have a supportive spouse so have to do everything themselves, work full-time, etc.

lnks · 15/02/2025 16:37

Verlaine · 15/02/2025 16:34

I’m a single (co) parent to a 10 yr old. I have a LOT of spare time, and I don’t really get why when everyone else constantly talks about no time to themselves, to sit down etc

For instance, today I got up about 10 and then most of the day I have just chilled with a light bit of tidying/ cleaning which took 30 mins max.

I'm not being facetious, I keep really worrying that there’s things other people do that I’m not doing. There must be as ‘having no time’ is the number one issue people say they have.

What am I missing?

Such an inflammatory post.

You know that parents who say this are talking about younger children.

Original poster
Verlaine · 15/02/2025 16:37

No, my child is here!

OP posts:
SittingNextToIt · 15/02/2025 16:36

Are these other people also single Co parents of only children aged 10 or over?

OneTealMentor · 15/02/2025 16:36

I assume this is because you are having a child free day. Other people probably plan to do things, meet friends, organise play dates, go to clubs etc etc

Completelyjo · 15/02/2025 16:36

and I don’t really get why when everyone else constantly talks about no time to themselves, to sit down etc

I don’t know anyone who talks like that in relation to having one almost secondary aged child.