That I seem to have a lot of downtime

It probably depends on your job - if you work full time in a customer facing role, or something like nursing, hairdressing or teaching where you are on your feet all day then you might have less energy (and for example be unable to carry out any life admin whilst working).

It also depends on the child - I find boys need more to do than girls at age 10.

I think some people do fill their lives up with extra curricular & play dates & sleepovers etc & this means being always 'busy'. The 70s & 80s must have been easier for parents as there was far less going on!

Didn't hit a nerve, just got on it.

I find these types of posts weird.

Nah I agree OP. On days when I just have my 10 yr old I honestly feel so free. She is independent (ish), plays nicely etc. Tidies up.

When her brother is home, the house is mental. Constant mess. He is 5. She also regresses and makes just as much mess when he is around.

One child, age 10 and being lucky? Yes, you get a lot of down time.

I suppose a lot of people don’t just have one child for a start and multiple younger children are more time consuming that one 10 year old.

I have 3 children and when the youngest was 10 and they were all fairly easy and independent, I was still doing school runs, taking them to sports and music lessons, helping them with homework, taking them to the cinema, going shopping, cooking dinner, baking with the etc. That all takes time, I enjoyed it so didn’t complain but it did mean I didn’t have as much downtime as I do now they’re older. Do you not do any of those things?

My best friend had a similar set up to you when her daughter was younger. She says she had lots of downtime too. Even got bored often.

I seem to be a lot busier than she was at the same stage. I have 2 children, a husband and a job though. My house definitely seems more chaotic than hers ever was.

Surely this is obvious? If your child doesn’t live with you full time then of course you are going to have more spare time for yourself? Enjoy it I say!

It’s clearly goady to wonder why other parents might have less time than you and then describe your day and everything you’ve done but not even mentioning having a child with you at all while you “just chilled”. Strange behaviour.

Well we both work full time - dh self employed so he is often out pricing jobs at weekend mornings, have a dying elderly parent to care for, one child who has a very busy schedule with his sport and we are usually travelling all over the country at the weekend and sometimes abroad as he also plays at national level. Youngest teenage daughter needs dropped to work and picked up and dropped/picked up from parties usually each night of the weekend. With five people at home there is obviously more tidying, washing etc to be done.

I think if it was just me and one child things would be alot less hectic. It's just different lifestyles, you aren't doing anything wrong.

Yes we've all agreed you are!

HTH

You remind me of a friend of mine. Any time any of us mention any remotely challenging thing relating to parenting, she tells us that she never had that problem because her daughter just never did that.

That is really nice for you that you have a really easy independent child.

Not everyone does and it's not their fault either

During the week we are busy with work, ferrying dc to quite a few clubs, then cooking / clearing up. So at the weekend we have to do housework / laundry / other errands.

There's only 2 of you so the laws of laundry mean I have about 16x times as much washing for 4 people 😉 and I guess you must stay on top of stuff as you go along more than we do.

Having said that we have all been watching Bear Grylls for the last 2 hours 😅

Yep, very stupid!

It's like sitting there all wide-eyed with amazement wondering how the homeless guy is cold when you're sat in an oodie, inside a double-glazed, central heated house! I mean "oh gosh, how can you be cold?"

Very strange to describe your day and not include one thing about your child who was in the same house as you all day.

Exactly this.

So you've ignored them all day to write a post of here about the wonders of your parenting and how much time it gives you? 🤣🤣🤣

People with no time are busier than you for many reasons, they have younger children, more than 1 child, they have clubs, meet up with friends, work, have a hobby, have a side hustle.

I find it strange that you can't work that out for yourself.

Realistically it's about what works for you and your family. You're not doing parenting any worse - or better - than anyone else, it's just different.

DS is 5, and I'm very much a 'go go go' kind of mum (mainly because he's a sociable and always wants to be doing something) ~ so weekends are packed with activities, as are after school and evenings. We often have people over for dinner, and host way more playdates/sleepovers/trips out with friends than we get invites for. I genuinely hope this is still the case at 10 and beyond as I do enjoy it, but it is exhausting!

I could 100% scale back on the socialising/classes/parties/trips out and have a more chill life (many of our friends have quieter lives and good for them!) but honestly I don't want that 😂 Your lifestyle wouldn't work for me - but I'm glad it does for you 😊

I have a only child who is also 10yo, today has been reasonably chilled because it's rainy and we're going away Monday so I don't want a full on weekend.

I was up at 6.30am, DD was up at 7am, got her breakfast and then I cleaned the kitchen properly as work more than full time all week so the weekend is when I do a proper clean.

Then we went into town for some bits, home about 11 and she has SATs revision homework to do so we did that.

Got our suitcase packed so I'd know if anything else needed washing or buying.

Got lunch sorted and then DD wanted to do some baking so helped her with that.

Since about 2pm we've just been watching telly or DD has been doing some crafts and Lego.

This week in addition to normal life, cooking, cleaning and evening activities I brought DS 2 to an optician and DD to a dentist. Ds1 needed new football boots. Ds2 had a display I had to attend and DD needed to get a birthday present for a friend. DH had to clear out some items from ILs garden that fell in a storm, I picked up samples for a wooden floor we are getting soon. I attended a PT meeting for DS2 and a school meeting about DS1s upcoming school tour ski trip. DH ordered and collected some ski stuff for DS1. I has a couple of phone calls with my DF and two sisters about an upcoming family event. Having 3 kids is 3 times busier.

What has your DS been doing today?
Do you spend time with him?
Even taking him to the shops or having lunch out is time together
It's easy to be smug when your circumstances are different to others

What's your child done all day?