That I seem to have a lot of downtime

I have 3dc and never had so much time to myself - because they’re 20 (at uni), 19 (working) and 13!
it’s taken years to get to this point where I essentially have Saturdays free as dh and the youngest are out for football stuff most of the day.
I still feel giddy that I get to please myself pretty much all day every Saturday 😂
Enjoy the downtime op, I don’t feel the need to spend every weekend day up to my elbows in chores/socialising, sometimes it’s nice to just relax.

I have a lot of down time as i need that and thats what i enjoy. It's your life you choose how to live it whether that's spending a rainy afternoon watching a film and ordering a takeaway or having your kids in lots of activities, cleaning the house top to bottom and batch cooking for the week. Some people like to be busy and constantly on the go and feel like sitting around is a waste of time others like a slower pace of life. Neither is right or wrong people are just different

I think you're doing fine! I also prefer the quiet life, i don't like every hour jammed with activities for me or DC. It's nice for DC to get their own time for themselves

One child age ten with no sen is not a huge amount of work....and if you're a single parent, whilst you're obviously doing it on your own, you don't have a man there creating mess and more chores.

We had a super chilled day. Very relaxing. Barely left the sofa. Teens did their own thing and 6 yr old played Lego. It was lovely. But we aren’t well, heavy colds. The laundry is piling up and the house is a mess.
Three kids, even older ones, create a lot of mess and laundry and teen stress (teen broke up with girlf, another struggling with a teacher). Smaller one to deal with and make sure he’s entertained and happy and has outside time etc. Renovating a house, dealing with the animals. Etc.

Everyone’s lives are different. Our circumstances all different. Our emotional and mental health, different.

I have loads of free time but then my DC are in their 30s 😂

Some people are genuinely busy all the time. Some just don't like to be alone with their thoughts. I know someone like this who admitted it to me. If they were to have a "chilled" day they'd ruminate on everything they're unhappy about and end up feeling depressed. So they fill their time to avoid that.

If it’s just you and a 10yo (who you don’t have full time) then I assume you don’t have as many chores as a single parent with 4 kids.

I am a single parent so my life is a little more hectic than yours but I would still have a lot of downtime because we don’t make much mess and I clean as I go.

I do have a busy job though and study in the evenings and so I have less time than those who are child-free or who co-parent/have a partner.

You had the good sense to have a low maintenance child. Well done!

My nearly 11 yr old is a dream.I work TTO and my half term is going to be 99.9% down time

My son gets transport to his SEN school so is out the house from 7.45am-3.45pm. That’s when I’m logged on for work, but I finish at 4.30pm (DP is home for DS). I work four days a week condensed hours so I’m available to log back on most evenings, and have Fridays as my study day - but it’s a 3 year part time masters so time demand is very minimal! Work give me study leave when assignments are due because they feel guilty that they declined to fund it 😂

On Wednesday we leave for Scouts at 4.30pm, and we are there until 8.30pm. I lead one section, my DS attends another, plus time before setting up and afterwards planning.

That just leaves Saturday morning for music classes, then one Sunday a month where I volunteer as an Independent Visitor for a child in care.

Did you even read the thread before jumping in to be judgemental?

Most people like to do things with their children at the weekend. I’m assuming your child isn’t on sports teams? My DD has had 3 hours squad training today, DS2 had a rugby match and DS1 went fishing with my dad. We took them to the cinema this afternoon.
Does your child get to do things at the weekend or is it always like this?

Honestly not being goady, but I would love to see a breakdown of your schedule - genuinely can't see how that would all be possible for me (would love to do a masters too!)

Same! I love being one and done! 😂

Having one child is easy.

I have an 8yo with special needs. I work full time, volunteer for two organisations (one 4 hours a week, and the other is one full day a month). Take him two his extra curriculars (scouts and music lessons), do homework and reading with him every night, and am studying a part-time MA. Still have quite a lot of downtime!

I see my friends with two or more children and they are working so much harder at it than I am. They are incredible. Balancing the needs of multiple children must be exhausting and takes a lot of resources. It’s a lot easier when there’s only one child to work around.

You have one late-primary aged, neuro-typical child - I'd be more surprised if you didn't have a lot of downtime, to be honest.

Saying that, I do think there's a certain type of person who thrives off "being busy" and will over-egg how much they have to do in order to make their days look more "full" than they actually are. Not sure on the logic behind it, though!

Don't feel bad, I remember when mine were little I didn't even have time to sleep let alone sit down.

Now they are 14 & 9 and amuse themselves when we're not doing something together. Think people forget there's a huge difference between a toddler/young child and a tween!

You are missing:

Elderly parents to visit and do errands for, family and friends to visit, hobbies. More than one child - their hobbies and sports, parties to drop them to, their laundry, meals, etc, etc, Partners family and friends to visit. House to renovate/decorate. Garden to care for. A larger house to maintain. Places to visit - walks, theatre, cinema, a meal out. Whatever.

Obviously, if you’re happy staying in all weekend along with your child, then you’re going to have a chilled time. Others might think it quite boring.

Maybe you have low standards of cleanliness or tidiness?

I don’t really get why when everyone else constantly talks about no time to themselves

People generally talk about stressful/tricky parts of their life to gain helpful support and advice.

People generally don't go around saying how great and stress free they find things compared to other people. Except you of course.

For example - you'll never see a post saying ''gosh my husband died last year and I'm dealing with it really well, I don't understand why everyone else finds grief so difficult''. Or ''I can't have kids but I'm really ok with it, I have loads of free time and money so I don't know why people get so upset about it''.

Do you see what I mean OP?

People generally understand that other people's lives are different to theirs, and that if they say they are stressed or finding things difficult, they probably are.

I mostly complain about parents not bringing their kids up properly. I think I can rest my case.

I have very little downtime but that is mostly my choice! I work full time, I have 2 adult kids, I do online shopping, I have a cleaner and not a massive house. I am also training for an ultramarathon so I run 4 times a week and do 2 gym sessions. This means I don't sit down til 7:30pm most evenings and I'm out the house for hours on Saturdays but ultimately it's my choice of how I spend my time and I reckon this applies to a lot of people!