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Original poster

To not go to pub because I look young..

65 replies

Anxietyqueeen · 15/02/2025 14:10

To preface this I have horrible anxiety and a real anxiety about people thinking I'm very young due to many bad experiences whilst being pregnant/ being mistaken for a really young mother.

I'm in my early 30s but look very young. Not in a good way. In a "weirdly tired/ haggard looking 16 year old" way. I'm meant to be going to a pub tomorrow at 9.30 pm - they don't allow under 18s in at that time. I'll be going with a new group of school mums so I'm feeling a bit anxious about it anyway as I'm socially awkward and I don't know them very well, but I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone more. But then I'm really anxious that I'll be pegged as an under 18/ singled out and ID'd infront of the rest of them .I'd find that really embarrassing Infront of people I don't really know. I had it happen last year and the people I was with the. were laughing about it and winding me up for days afterwards about looking like a kid.

I think I just need to be told I'm ridiculous and if it happens to laugh it off. But my anxiety is so bad.
Would you go?

OP posts:
GroovyChick87 · 15/02/2025 14:29

Sherararara · 15/02/2025 14:27

Oh yes they can - even into early forties regularly get the I thought you were 16 comments. You laugh it off and say why thank you and when anyone comments you laugh and say it’s great - when I’m seventy I’ll look forty.

Show quote history

Maybe from a distance if you're small stature or dress particularly childlike. Up close, no chance.

MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 14:28

I get it. I am also mid 30s but genuinely regularly get mistaken for a child.

People who don’t won’t (and never will) get it, so they’ll all come out with comments about how you should take it as a compliment (bullshit), or you can’t possibly look that young and nobody actually thinks it (again, bullshit).

So you can safely ignore nearly every reply you’ll get to this thread.

But you should go. Fuck what everyone else thinks. Took me a long time to learn that, but don’t let anxiety win.

Sherararara · 15/02/2025 14:27

Completelyjo · 15/02/2025 14:23

At mid 30s literally no one thinks you c
actually look like you’re in school.

Oh yes they can - even into early forties regularly get the I thought you were 16 comments. You laugh it off and say why thank you and when anyone comments you laugh and say it’s great - when I’m seventy I’ll look forty.

Tagyoureit · 15/02/2025 14:26

Take your id, and just have it ready when entering the pub so no need to make a big fuss of looking for it, all flustered.
When asked just make a joke 'ha, I knew id be asked so here it is!' All smiles!

There's really no need to get so worked up over being IDed, you know it will probably happen so you're prepared.

Original poster
Anxietyqueeen · 15/02/2025 14:25

Completelyjo · 15/02/2025 14:23

At mid 30s literally no one thinks you c
actually look like you’re in school.

I was given a child's bus fare last year..

OP posts:
GroovyChick87 · 15/02/2025 14:24

I wouldn't let it stop you going out. They have to ask if you look under 25 and if you're only 30 it's not that much of a leap. I doubt you look 16. Just take ID with you.

Completelyjo · 15/02/2025 14:23

At mid 30s literally no one thinks you c
actually look like you’re in school.

Pickingmyselfup · 15/02/2025 14:22

I always used to get asked for ID up until about 35/36. I just had to remember to take it with me and I had no issues at all.

Can't remember the last time I was asked and I'm 39 in autumn...

Just take your ID, if you get asked just show it, no drama.

Ponoka7 · 15/02/2025 14:20

The only way to get over anxiety is to push through it. Getting I.D'd is a non event. For the sake of your children, go and build on it.

GlimmerOfGold · 15/02/2025 14:18

Can you go early so that the ID is done before the others arrive?

Ln4eva · 15/02/2025 14:16

I would go - I know how difficult it is I am in 40’s and am under 5ft however you need to overcome it - at some point the teasing does flip on its head and as you get older people start wishing they looked younger.

Doggymummar · 15/02/2025 14:14

Tell them you are always getting carded. I was carded for coffee in WHSmith last week. Its funny.

Changingplace · 15/02/2025 14:13

Just have your ID to hand and take it as a compliment that you look young :)

FionnulaTheCooler · 15/02/2025 14:12

You're overthinking it. Take ID, show it if you get asked, and get on with your night out.

LegoHouse274 · 15/02/2025 14:12

If I was asked for ID I'd be made up, and so would all my 'mum' and 'dad' friends! If that happens everyone will think it's great!

I'm early 30s and look terrible and haven't been ID'd in years sadly!

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