To hate that funerals take place weeks after the death?

Must vary on area but also on how fussy you are about dates, times, people and places.

We've just buried our MIL which was two weeks to the day since she died in the hospital. When my mother died, the funeral was 8 days after she died and that was with a post mortem!

But we had no specific requirements. MIL's cremation was 9.30 in the morning which the undertaker said was the first available date/time as it was unpopular due to being so early, but that if we wanted a more "popular" time i.e. late morning of mid afternoon, it would have been a couple of weeks later.

For my mother, it sounds awful, but we were in a hurry for specific reasons, and the undertaker found us a chapel/vicar who could fit it in at short notice, whereas if we'd wanted her parish church and parish vicar, it would have been 2/3 weeks later. She wasn't religious and had no affiliation to her local church/vicar so she didn't care where the service was to be held nor who the vicar would be. We had her buried in her local parish church graveyard which was her only preference.

A lot of different people/places have to be aligned and the "fussier" you are about places, times, people, etc., then it's inevitable that things will take longer. It's not always the undertaker nor council who are the ones holding things up - they can't book a date/time if the vicar/church/crematorium is already booked, nor if their own hearse/cars and staff are already booked for another funeral the same morning/afternoon.

My dad died in the early hours of a Thursday morning (not unexpectedly), and was buried on the following Tuesday. That's a pretty common time frame where I live.

I suppose if someone dies suddenly, it might be nice to have some time to plan, or to get over the shock, but quite honestly I was so glad to get it over with, and very grateful that the funeral home took over and got things done.

oh i have just read they wanted a sombre occasion,
can you lighten it a bit, for your sake?

Maybe you could try actually answering the questions put to you rather than just making statements that make no sense and then talking about decorum.

Decorum would be explaining what you actually meant by planning ahead given that the funeral was all planned and it just takes this long to find a date and liaise with all parties.

I hadn't thought of that. It must do, mustn't it 😔

i am sorry op
i do understand
just when you think you have come to terms with the death, you then have to have a funeral, weeks later.
i hope you can have a good service, memorial of their life

The rules only changed last year. I wonder how this impacts on those from faiths where a quick burial is expected.

8 weeks! That's awful, so sorry

If this delay is due to changes in the death certification process(as pp say), how does it make a difference what faith you are?

I appreciate you may not know...

That's really not fair. What if my humanist faith needs it done quickly too?

Yes the pre booked funeral slot how’s that work? How does one compel the individual to die to schedule?

Disgraceful comment! What's wrong with you?

Evidentially you’ve not planned a funeral, if you had you would know that even if the death is expected that the funeral home need the death certificate from the hospital. Until that point the crematorium or other facilities will not take your booking. Clearly you’re a see you next Tuesday but someone is looking for others who have been in similar situations, which many of us have. I hope the same situation is bestowed on you at some point. You’re detailing the post of someone who is grieving, is it really necessary?

I totally agree with you. It’s awful. I’m not sure how this has happened - was it a Covid backlog that has never been caught up, or what. It needs sorting out. But as others have said some religions, e.g. Jewish and Muslim, still usually have funerals within a few days at most, so I don’t know why it’s different for others. Having the funeral quickly is still hard of course, but at least all the main awfulness is over quite soon and you can start grieving properly.

when my dad died during covid i knew the undertakers well. we had been conned by his cleaner and there was no way i wanted her at the funeral. i was very lucky they kept a short notice date for people who for reasons of their faith had to have a quick funeral after them dying, only waited 6 days , i know nowadays people are having to wait weeks , sorry for your loss

Hopefully that silly comment about planning ahead made you laugh OP! Yeah I think if you planned it for the summer there wouldn't have been so long a wait...

It is rubbish, it hasn't been like this always (I think pre-covid it really was maybe 2 weeks max?).

Practically as well, it means not putting a body in the earth / cremated in a timely way too, it's horrible they are not 'laid to rest' however they wish in a reasonable time. I'm not remotely spiritual or religious, it's about respect for me.

There isn't much coverage on this at all, not at all sure the tide will turn any time soon without some galvinising of change somehow....?

I work loosely in this area. There are different rules for different faiths.
Eg Muslims are supposed be buried within 24 hours.

It's got worse in the last few months in England due to changes in the death certification process.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/changes-to-the-death-certification-process/an-overview-of-the-death-certification-reforms

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ce3l239yn7xo

We've had a couple of deaths in the last few months and it's a real mess. I find doing it within a couple of days very hard as well, as I've been to a few like that, but this is no better.

Having just been to a funeral that was on day 3 (NI) it's preferable to the 2/3 week waits we have here. I think it's partly so much quicker there because they keep the person at home in the days before so everyone can go and visit and pay their respects. Even when my cousin in Belfast died and had a cremation it was still on day 3, whereas when my mum died it was a 2 week wait for a suitable date at the crem.

How do you do that before someone has died ?
OP has already said the details of the funeral are planned.

We had a 6 week wait, it was awful and it's not even too long compared to others. But it really did loom over me for weeks and weeks.

Totally agree. My parents died years ago and it was no different then. I have a friend who died recently after a protracted illness, in a hospice, yet the funeral was a month later. There's definitely something amiss with the system.

It's horrible OP and I do sympathise that feeling of being in limbo, just waiting to start getting back to "normal".
Three days was standard when I was growing up and that seemed just about right but it has gradually gone up and up.

Its a faith obligation and the burial was likely in ground owned/controled by the community so they would be able to dig a grave as a community. So no "red tape" once a death cert was issued.

OP sorry for your loss.
I can understand how hard it is to start healing when you know you will have a service which pulls you back into the time of your parent.

The service is about you and your family so its hard as life goes on without you and you feel in limbo watching it from afar.