To hate that funerals take place weeks after the death?

My understanding from this thread, is that there is a bias.
And it's not to do with availability of cremation. Although that may be a factor for some people.
But I'm happy to be corrected

Its now much more common place for a vicar to cover 6/7 parish and a very busy schedule on funerals whereas other people of faith seem to have more slots for fitting in with the funeral times. How is that bias?

@Pluvia
i am glad it was a jolly affair at least!

There isn't enough space in the fridges! During covid there were bodies piled in the garage where they usually keep the hearse/limos, put on breeze blocks. It stunk, and things are close to being that bad again

Wow, your government should be ashamed of themselves.

Have they no respect for the dead or their loved ones.

We had DM ashes back within 10 days from tne cremation ceremony during the first lock down.

England and Australia, need to change this.

In January 2019 my gran and aunt died in the same week. Both funerals took over a month later, the wait was very difficult. Just felt like you were in limbo.

I had Power of Attorney and was also executor for one elderly aunt, so was given the responsibility of organising the funeral. However, behind me I had a whole army of outspoken older women — her friends, sister, cousins, neighbour of 40 years — who fought any suggestions I made. My aunt died in the first week of January, and it was a very cold winter so several wanted to put the funeral off for a couple of months until the weather was better. But one of them was on holiday for much of March, so not then, and not Easter because some were offering childcare cover for grandchildren. Not a Monday because one of them had a voluntary job commitment for Mondays and not Friday because of M4 traffic (sic) And at noon at the earliest and 2pm the latest, so no one had to get up before dawn to catch trains/ drive and everyone could be home for bed by 10pm. The funeral was eventually held on a Tuesday in mid April and was a rather jolly affair.

Sorry, but you're still not explaining it. You've said you can arrange a funeral within say, three days if a person is e.g Jewish. Why can't a Catholic, or Church of England or someone of no faith get the same service? What is so different that means someone of a different religion or none has to wait a month? What is the delay in that system?

That's really not fair. What if my humanist faith needs it done quickly too?

then it can be

you get the death certificate and then shop round the undertaker to make sure they can do 2 days time - make sure your humanist leader can do that date and away you go

You might not get a choice of time though and if its a cremation you might not get the cremation you want or nearest and it might be early morning or late int he daytime

Hmmm... *goes off to investigate setting up a natural burial / composting ground..

In the last 10 years, where I live, 2 new crematoriums have opened. Still the wait is too long.

I understand your feelings. When my OH died it was several weeks before the funeral could take place and my distress was compounded by thinking of him in a fridge. Silly I know, but it disturbed me.

Sorry, I meant to quote the person who said to be proactive.

My understanding from this thread, is that there is a bias.

And it's not to do with availability of cremation. Although that may be a factor for some people.

But I'm happy to be corrected.

I actually tried to do this. We knew my mum was end of life, so I went to the funeral directors to try to get ahead. They wouldn't do or book anything. They can't do anything without the "green form", you don't get the green form until you register the death, you can't register the death until you've got a death certificate, you can't get a death certificate until a doctor had reviewed the circumstances.....etc.

So, it's not possible.

I got all the details of what I would need and I lined up the caterer, though obviously we had no idea of a date because that is driven by burial ground and funeral directors availablity.

It was still four weeks after the death.

I actually feel like you shouldn't be rushed into all this admin and arranging stuff. I think you should have up to 6m to plan and decide what to do. I think if we'd had more time we might have done things differently, more family would have been able to come, etc.

It's also pretty grim trying to think about designing an order of service, etc, whilst the person is still alive!

Shipman was the cause of this https://www.politicshome.com/news/article/funerals-taking-three-weeks-longer-usual-across-england-wales-system-struggles-cope-new-regulations Plus some registry offices still operate like in covid times - had to book an appointment. Not turn up on spec and get the certificate issued.

I agree waiting a month or longer is far too long IMO. Next week, it's a year since my beloved Nanan died. Her funeral was a month after her death. The 10-12 days before the funeral, I was just wanting the funeral and get it out of the way.

I think employers need to increase the time period for bereavement leave. 3-5 days isn't long enough for the organiser/executor/child of the deceased. Everyone at my last employer who lost a parent had to take time off sick. Thus this is wasting GPs' time by issuing fit notes. Everyone took the time off between death and funeral.

Also increase the time off to allow family to travel. In 2004, I was living in Leeds and my other grandmother died in Guildford. I was only allowed to have one day off. I fought to get the day before off as its 220 miles away and funeral was at 10am. My then employer presumed everyone has family living nearby. I had no car then. I finally got the call from HQ 2 days before the funeral that I could take 2 days off, paid. Travelled back to Leicester the day before to stay over at my parents. Then early in the morning, we travelled down to Guildford. One blessing was that the funeral was Friday so travelled back on Sunday.

Alondra

there isn't a tradition of late funerals, there is a lack of burial/cremation places meaning it takes longer.

40 Years ago a funeral in England took 5/7 days but the population has increased by over 15 million, without many new places for funerals.

If you want a funeral on Monday morning at 9am without a particular vicar or priest - then you'll get one in 10 days time. 9am is not a popular time. Fridays and Saturdays are most popular and late morning or early afternoon

So if it's a homicide it's prioritised for post mortem and coroner and I'm assuming all samples and evidence is taken and body laid to rest whilst investigation continues. This process will take longer than a usual straight forward death. The shady stuff usually happens with the evidence/paperwork if there is any shady stuff @Saggyknickers

I think in some cases the body is re dug up even if it's years later :/ but most cases aren't shady, and not everyone is related to some high profile politician or some billionaire philanthropist where they need to erase the steps of the murder to avoid tracing it back to "someone's" nephew.

The gist of it is I guess in ancient times with no refrigeration and particularly in hot countries, is to bury the deceased asap to avoid what happens to bodies in heat if left out. The body needs to meet the soil asap, it needs to be laid to rest. A lot of countries across the world have quick and efficient practices when it comes to funerals from Dr's signing off to catering to burial to transportation just like how they are quicker to sell a house unlike the UK.

Sorry quote didnot show in my post.

There's also a new form of body disposal being pioneered in the States which is far better environmentally - composting. It takes about 4 months and at the end of it the family are given some of the earth you've become rather than ashes. I've told dh I'd like to be composted, if that's an option when the time comes, otherwise green burial.

So there is a preferential system for other faiths?

It is too long and it will affect your grieving process. It’s awful.

I’ll be having a direct cremation like dh.

It’s not fair , no.

Yes, I want a direct cremation for myself. People don't all have to make the same choices all over the world as you would.

What a bloody insensitive comment, the poster is grieving the death of parents.
Proactive next time. Her parents have died there won't be a next time. You really are thick and stupid.

It was also a lovely day of laughter and reflection on his life.
6 months or 3 days wouldn't change this.
Funerals are very sad but also a lovely day of laughter and reflection on their life.

in the place I work , they have different processes for different faiths.
We have a different system for faith deaths out of hours.
It doesn’t always work and we do get a lot of calls when we can’t make it happen as quickly as some would like at times.
We do explain it is the law now but we are not always understood.